Chapter 5

SASHA'S POV

The sound of the ticking wall clock, gave me the pressure of my life, as I had my seat on the kitchen stool and stare at.

The house was very quiet, even though it was almost noon, though I understand that I was the only one home.

Somehow I felt a sharp pain in my stomach which reminded me that I hadn't eaten since... yesterday.

With everything going on, food was the last thing on my mind. But now I had to face the truth: my body needed food, and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

I sighed and got off the stool. I walked over to the fridge and opened it without much excitement. I saw some eggs and a half-empty bottle of milk on the shelves, but most of them were empty. Yes, scrambled eggs it is. Easy enough.

While I cracked the eggs and whisked them together in the pan, my mind kept going back to Sebastian. His voice echoed in my mind, the talk we had lingering like a shadow I couldn’t shake.

His choices. They were laid out so clearly, yet none of them seemed easy. I bit my lip, pouring the eggs into the hot pan. What would he decide? What would I decide if I were in his shoes?

I stirred the eggs absentmindedly, my mind spinning in a hundred different ways. Sebastian. He was so calm when he laid out his decisions, but I could see through the mask.

I knew him better than that. Behind those steady eyes, there was a storm building. And the weight of it was terrible for both of us.

Should he go through with it? Should he try the surgery, knowing it might fail? Or was it better to try the experimental medicine, even if the odds were slim?

I suddenly realized the eggs were sizzling too long. I snapped back to reality, hastily scraping them onto a plate before they burned fully. With a soft sigh, I grabbed a fork and slid into a chair at the small kitchen table.

I poked at the eggs, the fork heavy in my hand. I should have been hungry, but the knots in my stomach made it hard to even take a bite.

The fork clattered to the side of the plate, and I dropped my head into my hands. God, I wish I could do more.

Sitting here, eating, while my father was lying in a hospital bed — it felt wrong. But what could I do? I wished I could really do something to make him come out of coma, as soon as possible. I miss him, and I will be really happy to have him back.

I finally forced myself to eat. Each bite was tasteless, like eating cardboard, but I managed to finish. Once the plate was empty, I stood up and left it on the counter, going straight to the bathroom. I needed to get ready.

The mirror mirrored back a version of me I didn’t quite recognize. Dark circles framed my eyes, and my hair was a knotted mess, a far cry from how I usually looked. I turned on the tap, splashing cold water on my face, hoping it would help wake me up, shake me out of this haze.

My father's face flashed in my mind again, and I gripped the edge of the sink. He didn’t deserve this. Not any of it. Why him? Why us? I hated the world for being so cruel, for making us face something so impossible.

I pulled back, taking a deep breath, trying to center myself. One step at a time, Sasha. You’re no good to him like this.

After brushing my hair and putting it back into a neat ponytail, I went to the closet to pick out something to wear. Comfortable, I decided. Today wasn’t about looks. I grabbed a loose sweater and pants, throwing them on quickly. I glanced at the clock. I’d have to hurry if I wanted to make it in time for visiting hours.

As I grabbed my coat, the phone rang, shocking me. My heart jumped into my throat. I rushed over and snatched it off the counter, hoping it wasn’t bad news.

“Hello?”

“Sasha, it’s just me,” came the voice of my Mary my best friend on the other end, her tone soft and worried. “How are you holding up?”

I sighed, rubbing my temple. “I’m… I’m managing. I'm just about to head to the hospital.”

“Okay,” she responded.

“Yes, but Mary do you think my father would ever wake up from this coma, I'm getting really scared already,” I told her my fear, and she kept calm for a while.

“Sasha , he will okay, you don't have to worry too much about it, I can assure you that your father would be fine and he would wake up sooner,” she spoke to comfort me.

“Okay, I really hope so, because I don't know how I was going to live without him,” My voice cracked slightly, as tears picked at the corner of my eyes.

“He would be fine, so just calm down,” she told me, while I just sighed softly. “If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call, okay,” she added.

“I will, thank you so much Mary.” I told her, and just then I hung up, letting out a shaky breath.

I didn’t want to worry her, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of powerlessness off me. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door before I could get trapped in my own thoughts again.

Outside, the crisp fall air hit me as I stepped down from the porch. I pulled my coat tighter around me, searching the street for the cab I had called earlier, I was took worried to think of driving myself for now, so it was best a take a cab.

The trees lining the sidewalk were beginning to shed their golden leaves, swaying gently in the wind. It would’ve been a beautiful day if the circumstances were different.

The cab pulled up a moment later, and I got into the backseat, giving the driver the address of the hospital. He nodded quietly and started driving.

As the city streets blurred past the window, I found myself looking blankly at the passing cars, people walking their dogs, kids playing in the park. Life moved on. It kept going, no matter what. But for me, for Sebastian, everything had come to a grinding stop.

The drive seemed to take forever, even though it was only a few miles. I couldn’t stop moving, my hands twisting in my lap. I needed to be there. I needed to see him, to tell him that I was with him, whatever he decided. The cab turned onto the road heading to the hospital, the tall building looming closer.

I took a deep breath as we approached. One step at a time. I could do this. I had to.