ACID HUMOR

Feeling goosebumps for someone who threatens me even indirectly is something new for me.

"That's what we're going to see"...

what did he mean with this?

He sure wants to intimidate me.

He was disgusted that I didn't drool over him like most of these girls.

I saw him sitting behind the desk without showing any reaction, he didn't look at me again, he spent the whole class acting as if nothing had happened.

- If this teacher thinks I'm like the desperate ones here, he's very wrong.

I hate conceited and womanizing men.

When his class was finally over, I got up to see if I could get something to eat.

I didn't even cross the door, he called me.

- Doesn't this guy get tired of pissing me off? I thought.

When I asked what the problem was, he had the nerve to say the problem was me, that the way I treated him was arrogant.

So I said I would bring a red carpet.

As if that wasn't enough, he even told me to call him you and not sir, that he wasn't that old and that he was old enough to be my boyfriend.

He was totally upset when I said that he was old enough to be my grandfather and that I didn't date elderly people.

I turned my back and left him in the shit, because I have no patience for males who think they have some control over women.

I'm in control of myself. I don't need no man dictating what I should or shouldn't do, what I should or shouldn't say.

As soon as I sat at the table to eat, a woman sat next to me.

“Hi, my name is Emily, you're Celine aren't you? I was in the room when you had an argument with the teacher”.

- Nice to meet you Emily, don't tell me you're one of his defenders?

Emily: I already was, but when I saw how much of a womanizer he is, I ended up letting go.

- Great choice then.

Emily: He is a very selective guy, he lives surrounded by women, but few of them managed to get him into bed.

- He stays with the students here? Is this not prohibited?

Emily: Not here, unless there's an accusation of harassment, but actually the one being harassed here is him.

- So it's explained why he feels like the king of the jungle, this bunch of girls makes him comfortable to think that he really is, I honestly don't know what they see in him.

Emily: Oh, tell me you don't think he's cute either?

- He's handsome, he's just not my type.

I don't like womanizing and futile guys.

Pretty face I find on every corner.

Emily: Yeah, you're right. So I'm going to my next class, I'm in the second semester, I was just in your classroom because I failed in his chair. Until later.

- Until.

This guy is worse than I thought.

Not only does he like to be the center of attention, he also makes it difficult for women who get into him.

- Ah, have holy patience. I told myself.

Is it if he thinks I'm like them? Was that why he said that in my ear? In an attempt to convert me to the charm he faithfully believes he has?

Because if that's the intention, he'll fall off the horse badly.

I'm not futile like him.

I don't need to be the center of attention to feel beautiful and desired.

I didn't see him the rest of the day, which was wonderful for me. Because I had no more patience for him.

I got home crazy to take a shower, and try to get rid of the stress that this teacher caused me.

I still hadn't forgotten about his threat.

In fact, I spent all day thinking about every word he said.

Since when am I obligated to get to know him better?

Is it law that I happen to like him?

He'll know who he's messing with, I know exactly how to put him in his place.

I don't work, I just go to college.

So in my free time, when I'm not studying, I play sports, I love running and cycling.

But that day, I decided I wouldn't do that, I had a whole plan formed in my mind.

This plan I would put into practice the next day.

I took my car and went to buy a red carpet, I bought about two meters.

It was small and thin, it was foldable and would fit perfectly in my purse.

Does the teacher want to be the center of attention? Then I would make him feel that way.

It's not that I'm arrogant, as he said, I just hate anyone who tries to impose something on me.

I have a sour sense of humor, and he's not man enough to handle my sourness, which made me amused.

He's the one who needs to get to know me better before he thinks I should follow him around like a madwoman, desperate for sex.

I never got carried away by anyone.

I have complete control over my feelings and reactions.

I am driven by myself, I decide whether someone calls my attention or not.

I am not manipulated, nor does Maria go with the others.

A person has to do a lot more to get my attention and certainly being a womanizer is not part of the necessary requirements to have it.

The night when my parents got home from work, the first thing they asked was about my first day of school, whether it had been good or not, whether the teachers were really qualified.

If they knew that my professor of Constitutional Law's qualification is women and sex, they would definitely go the next day to talk to the dean.

I began to laugh at my thoughts.

Dad: What are you laughing at young lady?

Why did my dad ask that? That's when I laughed even harder.

- Sorry dad, it's the second time someone asks me why I'm laughing.

Dad: And who asked first?

- Oh, just a friend who made a silly joke. I lied.

Father: Beware of distractions my love. He said while giving me a kiss on the cheek.

Mom: Then you show me what you studied today, okay?

- OK Mom.

My parents don't bother me, they just help me with my studies and I love that.

After we had dinner, I went to my room and already left my bag ready for the next day.

After showering and brushing my teeth, I was finally able to lie in bed and get the sleep of the righteous.

I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, and got up more excited than usual.

I got ready, had breakfast that Graça, our employee, had already prepared, and then I went to the university.

I only had class with Kyle in the second period, but it didn't take to get to his class for me to see him parading around with a bunch of women around his neck again.

He stopped to chat with a few more, it seems like this is a routine for him.

I kept walking, and passed him without giving a damn, but the unexpected happened.

Kyle: Good morning Miss Celine.

I immediately stopped with my back to him, and it took me a few seconds to turn around and look at him.

- I'll only know that the day was good at the end of it.

Kyle: Girls, I'll talk to you later, now I need to have a word with this student.

The girls were dispersing, while he walked slowly towards me, looking deep into my eyes, until he was about eight inches from me.

Kyle: What's your problem girl?

- My problem is you.

I spoke ironically, returning his answer from the day before.

That hidden smile reappeared.

Kyle: I must be a real problem Miss Celine, people tend to run away from problems because getting out of them is so hard. Once the problem arrives, it's gone.

- I don't run away from problems teacher.

I'm used to annihilating them.

He narrowed his eyes, and looked at me uncomfortably.

Now, excuse me one more time, I can't be late for my class.

I turned my back on him again, but as he never stopped to be satisfied, he interrupted me again.

Kyle: How long has it been since you had sex Miss Celine?

I didn't believe it when he asked me that question.

Who does he think he is? I thought.

I turned to him perplexed.

- What kind of question is that? You are crazy?

Kyle: It's a question like any other, you're not going to answer me?

- And what does that interest you, you busybody?

He came closer to me again, and spoke again in my ear.

Kyle: Usually people who live stressed like that, it's because they don't have sex. You should get laid Miss Celine.

I almost flew on top of that damn teacher, but there was no time, he walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the corridor, and the worst thing was, I was late for class.

I went huffing to my room, fire in my eyes.

- Ah little cretin professor, you don't lose by waiting.

I almost couldn't pay attention in class.

I felt my cheeks burn every time I remembered what he said.

I know I'm a virgin, but that was never a problem for me and it didn't even have an influence on my mood.

He was the one chasing me.

As soon as class was over, I grabbed the red rug out of my bag, went to the door, and placed the rug there.

Everyone in the room was looking at me, maybe thinking about how crazy I am.

It didn't take long for him to arrive.

He stopped right at the door, and stared at the rug, and at the same time looked into the room looking for me, and fixed his gaze on me.

The room was silent, and not even the girls who were drooling over him had the courage to receive him at the door.

It took him a few seconds to murder me with his gaze, and then he strode over to his desk.

Kyle: Who put that rug over there? The whole class looked at me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

Kyle: What's so funny this time Miss Celine? Did you happen to put the rug there?

Of course he knew it was me, but since he wanted to exercise his superiority, he wouldn't let it go unnoticed.

- Didn't like teacher? I put it for you to go over, since he is a prestigious man and famous among female society.

Some students started to laugh, the others followed along and laughed too, and a few seconds later the whole room was laughing.

I stared at the teacher, pen in my mouth, waiting for the moment when he would kick me out of the classroom.

He walked over to my chair, under the curious eyes of the students, and returned to speak in my ear.

Kyle: I love Miss Celine rugs, especially when I use them to fuck a woman.

Did you know that the color red goes well with your skin? You would stand out on top of that one over there.

Once again I felt my cheeks burn.

He turned his back on me again, went to his table and continued, this time telling the whole class to listen.

Kyle: I loved the Miss Celine rug, out of all the women who gave it to me, you were the most creative, so I'll see a way to repay the kindness.

- More than a son of a ... He made it seem like I was another one of those girls who kept running after him, dying for a little attention, begging for a chance.

What a hate.

The buzzes are back.

Kyle: No more talking guys, let's pay attention in class now.

He looked at me with a smug smile on his face, and it made me want to commit Murder, when there is intent to kill.