7

Pink

The grass under my skin, the sun shining like never before, the birds singing, the sound of the wind, it's all so beautiful. Am I in heaven? I feel at peace like never before. I feel free. Free from this hell.

A woman in a long white dress walks slowly towards me. I watch her approach, she is so beautiful. She is very familiar to me. But who could she be? I get up and suddenly, the beautiful landscape is transformed. I am at the edge of a rocky hill. I take a look at the ocean below. If I fall, I will die. But am I not already dead?

The woman keeps getting closer and closer until I recognize her.

- My mom ? I whispered with tears in my eyes.

- Pink, my daughter.

- Mom, I missed you so much! I said to her, wanting to move towards her.

But my legs are not moving. I can no longer move. It's like I was stuck to the ground.

- Rose, he will love you.

- I don't understand mum! Why couldn't I move? I asked with a trembling voice.

- Your soul mate is waiting for your love. You are the only one capable of saving her.

Damian. She hasn't seen me for ages and she tells me about him. I so want to hold her in my arms. She is so close but so far at the same time.

- Mom...

- Rose, you're the only one.

- The only one to what? I asked reluctantly.

- To be able to change it.

- Why would I do that?

- If you don't stop it, the massacres will continue.

What massacres? I do not understand.

- I don't understand.

- Only your love could save him.

- What if I can't?

His eyes open wide. What is happening ? She shakes her head and says:

- You are the one who will die. Change it or die.

I swallow hard. Die ? Once again ?

- It's time to go.

- But I'm dead! I hastened to say.

- You can't stay, it's still too early. This is where you will die.

I watch the water below. I do not understand. She comes over and pushes me. I fall lower and lower, screaming for help. Until everything goes black.

I slowly open my eyes with great difficulty. It takes me a few moments to get used to the light. I'm back in the bedroom. Damien is sitting next to me. He looks at me carefully.

- Are you doing well ? He asks me worried.

Damien worried? Why won't it go? I sit. My gaze falls on my arm which has been bandaged.

- What has happened ?

- Don't you remember?

I remember the mirror. From the fear I had of what he would have done to me. Clinks of glasses. Oh my God ! I remember. I tried to kill myself. I cut my veins. I stare at my arm. How did I get to this stage?

- Now if. I replied dryly.

- I was so scared. He confides in me, kissing my forehead.

He was afraid ? For me ? I look at him surprised, my mouth slightly open.

- Never do something like that again!

I expect him to react aggressively or threaten me but he just kisses the bandage on my arm. I don't know what just happened to him but I hope he stays that way.

***

I walk in the forest enjoying the sounds of nature. Damien gave me permission to leave the house and walk through the forest without crossing the border. I don't know where he is, or if there is a map to indicate that this is the end of his territory, but Justin assured me that it would be impossible for me to get there in one day. And so much the better, I don't want any problem with Damien.

Since my suicide attempt, Damien is more...nice. Every time he gets angry he leaves the room. And I only see him again at night. I feel like everything is much better and I pray it stays that way.

My mother's words have never left me since. “Change it or die”. How am I supposed to change it? I don't know if it was a hallucination that I saw while I was unconscious or was it reality. Yet I feel like it was real. Did I really go to heaven? I'm going to end up going crazy at this rate.

I think I need to talk to him about it. And I want to know what massacres she was talking about. I turn around and walk towards his office. Once I get upstairs, I was about to knock when I heard their discussion. I lean over and listen.

- And Rose in all this? Justin asks.

- What Rose? It doesn't concern her. Responds strongly Damien.

My curiosity takes over and forces me to listen to them. I want to know what they are talking about.

- But if she finds out she...

- How do you expect her to find out? And what will she do? I don't see how that relates to her.

I feel Damien moving around the room.

- And what do you want us to do with it now? Ask Brad

- I will solve this problem.

- Are you going to kill him?

Kill ?

- No, I'm going to torture him first until he confesses.

Imagining Damien torturing someone gives me chills. I know he's capable of it, I don't doubt it for a second, but I don't prefer to think about it. You have to be sick to want to torture someone else.

- We already know who he works for. Justin adds puzzled.

- I want him to say it for himself. That'll teach him to try to get into my territory.

- And after ? Brad asks.

- I kill him. What do you want me to do with him?

- Say rather that you want to let off steam on him. Comments Brad.

- You're the one who says it.

If I understand correctly, he intends to torture someone because he needs to let off steam? I should never have listened. How does he manage to sleep soundly at night after that? I realize that Aaron's case is more serious than I thought. He is ill.

I lean a little more when the door suddenly opens on Damien.