04

My eyes closed for a second as I fought the urge to melt in his embrace.

Could we really do it ?

Things will never be the same—the scars we’ll wear forever—and Sebastian has to open his eyes to that fact.

As much as I loved him, I was no longer the naive girl who recklessly gave up her heart four years ago—I now guarded the broken and bruised remains of it with vigilance.

And as much as he wanted to make me happy, he was going to slowly kill me with his oppressive control—his instinct to rule over others so they would never do anything that would hurt him.

We made each other into the cowards we were now.

It was going to take a lot to learn to trust each other again.

“We need time. You’re looking for the girl you met four years ago, Sebastian,” I said slowly and without heat. “Before you decide that this is what you really want, you may want to get to know the grown-up Cassandra, despite your machinations to get her to where she’s at now. She’s no longer the dreamy-eyed eighteen-year-old you obsessed with so much you designed her world exactly the way you liked it.”

He tensed but he didn’t let go. “If I really had my way, we wouldn’t be in here now negotiating. You’d be in my bed and in my life. As I said, I never once stopped you from coming back to me, Cassandra. That was your own decision.”

I smiled wryly and turned within his embrace. “One of the few I managed. And that’s another thing I want you to learn on the first day of our relationship together, Sebastian—it’s a relationship and not a dictatorship which means you don’t always get your way. We compromise. You can manipulate circumstances but you will never be able to manipulate my mind and my heart and right now, both agree that I’m crazy for even considering going down this road again with you. So tread carefully. Respect my intelligence and independence.”

I put a hand on his chest, reveling in his warm, solid strength. “Until you do, this will never work out. You could win my body but you will never have me completely. Worse, you’ll destroy any ability I have left to love and accept you, cunning and ruthless tyrant that you are.”

“Alright,” he relented with a deep sigh, pulling away and setting himself back against his desk. “What do you want ?”

“We need to set some rules. First one, no dating each other while I still work for you.”

His jaw bunched up tightly. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course—”

“I’m in contract for a year,” I interrupted gently, holding up a hand to stay him. “If you’re willing to shorten it to six months, I’m okay with that. I need to stay on for at least six months if I want to avoid too many questions on my next job. I will not work for you and date you at the same time. I don’t want to be the woman sleeping with the boss.”

Oh, Sebastian was not happy about that.

His green eyes flashed but he pressed his lips together with effort. “The contract will be amended accordingly. Go on.”

I was impressed with his restraint. “I think six months will give us some time to figure out if this is what we really want. Four years is a long time and we’re not the same people. I want you to be very sure.”

He raised a brow. “I never indicated I was uncertain. I’m wondering though how we’ll accomplish discovering what we have if we’re going to spend six months apart.”

“We’ll work together for six months,” I answered with a shrug. “I’m sure I’ll run into you every now and then if you ever grace us with your presence.”

He frowned. “Don’t be patronizing, Cassandra.”

I smiled. “I’m not totally opposed to going out together on a group date but that’s about it.”

“A group date ?” he echoed in disbelief. “Do you think we’re in high school ?”

“A group date is safe,” I replied crossly. “I don’t trust you to not try to seduce me if it’s just the two of us.”

A slow smile curved on his lips. “Don’t think a handful of people is going to stop me.”

I ignored the warmth in my belly and leveled him an even gaze, readying myself for the words that were about to come out of my mouth, momentarily thinking myself completely insane for ever thinking them. “Also, we’re going to keep seeing other people.”

Fury flared in his eyes. “What ?”

I took a deep breath. “We need to give ourselves a chance to find out if we can be happier with someone else. That we’re not just simply caught up in the past.”

“I don’t consider you my past, Cassandra,” he bit out savagely, his long fingers wrapping around the edges of his desk in an effort at control. “You’re my start to finish. There’s no before or after you. The only life I’ll live is the one with you in it. You can write a book of rules all you want but you are not telling me how I feel about you.”

A slow, sweet mass gathered in my chest at his words and it took every bit of my will power to stand firm with my demands.

It was so hard, so hard, to simply hand my heart over to Sebastian.

“Lastly,” I said, clearing my throat when my voice caught. “I want you to pull your spies out of my life. I can’t live my life under surveillance, Sebastian. It’ll be hard for you but I need you to trust me to stand on my own two feet. I don’t want a damned security detail, I don’t want a bookstore, I don’t want any kind of special treatment.”

I raised my eyes to meet his directly. “Are we clear ?”

His face had now become inscrutable but knowing Sebastian the way I did, I knew the gears in his mind were turning.

“I know you think you’re going to change my mind about this,” I said coolly. “That you’re going to play along long enough for me to let my guard down so you can move in and use every dirty trick up your sleeve to change my mind.”

He flashed me a wolfish smile. “Absolutely.”

I glowered at him. “Sebastian, you have to take this ser—”

“You’re fighting for what you think you want,” he interrupted softly, suddenly on his feet and in front of me, his hand cupping my cheek. “I think it’s only fair that I get to do the same.”

My skin warmed where he touched me and I dragged in a breath. “This is not a game, Sebastian.”

“No, it’s not,” he agreed before he lowered his lips to brush lightly against mine. “It’s the fight of my life and I intend to win.”

My eyes automatically drifted close as I anticipated his next kiss but I suddenly lost the warmth and fortress of his body.

He had stepped away and walked towards the door, holding it open.

I raised a brow at him.

“Thank you for your time today, Ms. Collins,” he said in a mild, business-like tone, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I slowly headed for the door, scooping up the folder along my way.

I eyed him warily.

“Brilliant ideas, as always,” he went on as I stopped by the doorway in front of him. “I look forward to see what results they yield.”