chapter 9 : the best man

Matthew and I have come out for a run, we are sitting on a broken wooden log which overlooks the stream and the waterfall. It's so peaceful here, the chirping of the birds and flapping of their wings accompanied by the sound made by the crickets. The water from the waterfall falls on to the stream in a steady pace never once breaking the rythum which causes ripples to form on the water in a circular motion.

We have been sitting in silence for the past half hour just looking into the scenery before us, both lost in our own thoughts.

"Do you ever miss her?" I break the silence by asking the question. he knows who I'm talking about, his mate.

Its silent for a few moments apart from the chirping of birds and swaying of trees as the wind passes by, Matthew hasn't answered my question and I thought he never will, but a small smile plays on his face and replies "Everyday", still looking forward the stream.

I'm not at all jealous that he still misses and loves her, my mate rejected me and that's painful enough but I couldn't fathom the pain he might have gone through when his mate and unborn child were brutally killed by those filthy rogues.

"Does it hurts now? Like how it did before" I ask him .

He looks towards me and replies "No it doesn't, you learn to live with the pain over time eventually. You become weak and vulnerable due to loosing someone you love , you think that you can't never ever get out of that pit of darkness that sorrounds you, but the first thing you should understand is that being vulnerable doesn't make you weak it makes you the strongest, because for you are strong enough to show this whole world your vulnerability and that you're not afraid of it, infact you embrace it and you are willing to fight even though there's no reason left to" It feels as if he's not only talking about but something else like it's an indication from him to me.

I smile at his words, for I know what he trying to say, he knows full well that I get hurt easily by those I care deeply about and that I tend to become more vulnerable because of betrayal and hurt.

"Tell me about her" I tell him after a few moments and a sad smile covers his face.

" She was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on, well apart from you ofcourse" he winks at me at his last words, I chuckle and shake my head and he continues "she had long thick brown hair which reached her waist, emerald green eyes that sparkled bright with life and innocence. She was shy just like you. Everyone in the pack was delighted to have her as their luna, she used to help the elders of the pack if thwy needed help, cooked with the chef's and even played with the kids".

She loved kids and she was verry happy when she found out she was pregnant" a hard looks passes quickly over his features thinking about the unfortunate event but recovers quickly and smiles at the happy memories.?

Hearing him talk about his mate even after her death in a loving way reminds me of my mate, who doesn't even wants me. Sadness engulfs my whole being at the single thought.

"Am I not good enough for my own mate?" I ask him in a small voice filled with sadness and Matthew turns towards me fully and cups my face with gentleness and says " I love you just the way you are, but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect, Trust me, perfect should try to be you". A small smile break out on my face at those words, Matthew always knows what to say in such situations to lift up my spirits.

"Thankyou so much for that, I neede it" I reply with thanfulness Matthew just shakes his head at me and removes his hands which were cupping my face moments ago. He furrows his eyebrows and asks me " Hey! Weren't Courtney and Alex arriving today?."

Oh shoot, Alex and Courtney had left a few days ago for buying their wedding dress, which they wanted to be a surprise and to checking up on how the wedding preparations

we're going on, there was only one weeks time left for the wedding to take place" .

"Yes, they are" I reply to his question.

I think it's about time we head back into the pack house and I was feeling extremely hungry as I only had a poptart as my breakfast, I turn towards Matt to ask him if he felt the same.

" Are you hung-" I'm cut off mid sentence by hearing a growl and see Matthew's cheeks tinge with redness and reply "what, I'm a grown ass male and that one bowl of cereal isn't going to cut it, I need to feed these, baby!" The embarrassment is quickly replaced with his usual bout of cockiness as he flexes his triceps and I roll my eyes at him.

"Come on you, show off" and drag him towards the direction of the pack house.

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When Matthew and I reached the pack house we find that Courtney and Alex have arrived.

Currently Courtney and I are preparing something for all four of us to eat as the boys are watching a soccer game in the living room.

"Courtney" I call her as she looks away from her chopping board of onions towards me, her eyes are watering and I laugh.

"Bitch, you better shut up or I'll shove this fucking onion down your throat" She practically growls and I gulp at her warning. I raise my hands in a surrender motion and say "Sorry", still trying to stiffle my laughter by hiding behind my hair.

"You better be" her eyes stays narrowed at me for a few moments and then she smiles, and I look at her wierdly.

Wow I guess someone is on their period or her inner bridezilla is making an appearance, I think.

I almost forgot that I haven't asked Courtney about the wedding since I've arrived.

"Who all are the bridesmaid's?" I ask her and she replies while continuing to chop the onions "Some of the pack she-wolves I've befriended over the years"and I nod my head.

"And what about the best man?" I ask her curiously and Courtney stills and turns towards me with a guilty look and I brush it off and ask "is it Matthew?" I ask her excitedly.

"I'm sorry okay, I know you might not be happy with what I'm going to say, you know how Alex and him are friends and I just didn't want to throw your under the bus, and I knew you haven't told Alex or your parents about you finding your Mate and that he's the-" Courtney speaks in a hurry with a worried look on her face

"No, I am the bestman" a new voice joins in on our conversation and my body stills hearing his voice, I close my eyes and turn towards the direction of the voice, all the while praying that it's not who I'm guessing it is be to, I open my eyes and my hazel brown eyes meet grey ones.

Great, I'm doomed.

I turn towards Courtney and flash her an 'I'm going to kill you' look.