The Beginning of the End II

“You know. The twins. I met them last week. Those two pretty sisters of yours you keep so covered up of late…”

“Oh, those twins.”

“When are you going to let them come out to play?”

“Well, they’re feeling a little shy lately.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just feel a little embarrassed to be naked around you, Phillipe.”

“Come on, Bella Lisa. Have a heart. Can’t you give a sick bedridden man a little pleasure?”

“You’re really milking this for all it’s worth.”

“I wish I could milk you for all your worth.”

“You’re such a dirty old man.”

“I am.”

“Well, I suppose it can’t hurt to give you a little peek. Wait here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Bella Lisa took off her disposable gloves and dropped them in a trash can. She went into the bathroom and Williamson heard the water running. She came back in, stood over him by the bed and slowly unbuttoned the front of her blouse.

His lips parted as he gazed at Bella Lisa’s creamy white skin. Her pleasantly rounded breasts fell forward, as if asking to be cupped underneath by his palms, her swollen pink aureoles and extended nipples waiting to be sucked upon. Her pretty breasts were the most beautiful sight in the world to Phillipe. He licked his lips and breathed out. Out of the corner of her eye Bella Lisa saw the outline of his flaccid shaft, resting peacefully under his black silk boxer shorts.

“Oh my God, Bella Lisa, you have the loveliest breasts…”

“Phillipe, you act like you’ve never seen them before. We’ve been naked together a hundred times.”

“I know, but I can’t get over how beautiful they are. I don’t think I ever will.”

“Well, you’ve had your look.”

Bella Lisa buttoned up the front of her blouse.

“Do they have to go into hiding so soon? Why are you embarrassed to show your body to me?”

“I just feel… funny lately.”

“How so?”

Bella Lisa looked into Williamson’s eyes, and then looked down.

“I guess… when I thought you had died, I realized how much I really cared about you. Something’s changed inside me. I have feelings for you now, Phillipe, and… I don’t know, I’m just feeling a little shy around you now, I guess.”

“Bella Lisa, you are so… sexy.”

They heard a knock on the bedroom door and Mrs. Potcia entered with a tray of food. Williamson ate with a hearty appetite and Bella Lisa nibbled on a croissant and drank some coffee. After breakfast, Bella Lisa helped Williamson get dressed and they took a walk together down to the beach. They sat on a bench by the boardwalk and Williamson felt the ocean breeze brush through his hair, the warm rays of the sun on his skin.

“Feeling better, honey?” Bella Lisa asked.

“I feel much better, Bella Lisa, thank you.”

Williamson put his arm around her shoulder and she cuddled up next to him. She whispered in his ear.

“Promise me something, Phillipe.”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Promise me you’ll keep taking your medication.”

“Of course.”

“And… never cut yourself again.”

Phillipe nodded.

“I promise you, Bella Lisa. I give you my word. The Beast inside me is gone. I’ll never cut myself again.”

“Or anyone else, Phillipe. You won’t cut yourself or anyone else.”

“I vow to you, I won’t cut myself, or anyone else, ever again,” Williamson whispered to Bella Lisa.

They sat quietly together, holding each other, watching the bikes glide by and admiring the California coastline. Williamson’s good mood turned sour when he noticed the disapproving looks of couples strolling by on the boardwalk.

People notice the age difference between us.

He felt he had aged several years since the injury.

I wonder if the age difference bothers her.

Williamson thought about the nature of his relationship with Bella Lisa as he stared out into the blue Pacific. Just a few days ago, the passionate sex between them was like a storm at sea, causing the waves to crash against the rock jetty in front of his condo, splashing sea foam high into the air. Then, after he cut himself with the shard of glass and went back on his anti-psychotic medication, a sense of calm seemed to prevail. There was still a strong attraction between them, but rather than it arousing their mutual passion, the bond between them was comforting now, like the soothing sound of the flat tranquil surf, forever emptying itself upon the shoreline and receding back into the sea.

Something’s different now. Something has changed. Is this what love feels like? Is our relationship coming to a close, or is it becoming stronger? Why can’t I have both, the passion and the tranquility?

Williamson breathed in, and squeezed Bella Lisa tighter to him.

I’ll wait until I’m better. I’ll get back in shape. There must be a way to get the spark back.

Then an impulsive thought entered his mind.

What if I asked her to marry me? Right here. Right now. But what if she says no? You’ve only been with her for a week. Are you crazy? You’ll scare her off. Get a grip on yourself, Williamson!

As if Bella Lisa could sense his conflicting thoughts, she turned and looked him directly in the eyes.

“What’s wrong, Phillipe? Something’s troubling you.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just a little tired.”

“Come on, Phillipe. Talk to me. I know when there’s something troubling you.”

“I suppose I’m just not used to feeling… weak around someone. Or being taken care of.”

“You’ve helped so many people in your life. Allow someone to help you now.”

“Ok. But…”

“Yes?...”

“Could we get you one of those loose slutty nurse outfits for you to wear, you know, the one where your breasts keep accidentally falling out?”

“Phillipe!”

“I guess we’ll have to wait until Halloween.”

“You’re so bad.”

“I am…”

Phillipe kissed her tenderly.

“Maybe we should head back,” Williamson said.

“OK. This was…”

“What, Bella Lisa?”

“It was nice. To be out with you, fully dressed for a change.”

“Nice for you maybe, not so nice for me.”

“If I allow you to dress me in those see-through clothes on the beach, the bicyclists will crash into each other, sneaking peeks at me.”

“That’s why God invented bike helmets.”

“You are a naughty man.”

“I am.”

Phillipe and Bella Lisa walked arm in arm back to the condo.

After a peaceful evening spent dining and relaxing in the Entertainment Room, they turned the TV off and then retired into Bella Lisa’s bedroom for the night. Perhaps since he had slept so long, Williamson woke up in the middle of the night and could not go back to sleep. He quietly got out of bed and took his medication. Williamson took a walk through his condo. He stopped in front of the refrigerator, opened it, looked inside, and then closed it. As he was about to head back to Bella Lisa, he looked down the corridor into the West Wing.

I don’t hear it any more, that fucking voice in my head. It’s gone.

Williamson noticed the open door at the end of the hallway and decided to go into the room where he had cut himself. As he walked in, Williamson noticed the black door with the red trim had been repainted white to match the rest of the condo. He turned on the dimmer switch and the room was empty. Mrs. Potcia must have had everything moved into storage. His collection of knives and bondage equipment was gone. The thick mirror he had shattered with the hilt of a knife just a few days ago had already been replaced. The blood stains on the wood floor were removed. The smell of bleach still permeated the air. It looked like any other spare room in the condo.

It’s just as well. That part of my life is over.

Williamson looked at himself in the mirror. He noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his sunken cheeks.

God, I look like shit.

Williamson walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He walked slowly back to Bella Lisa’s bedroom and cuddled up next to her warm body and fell asleep.

When Williamson awoke in the late morning, Bella Lisa had already left. He got up with a slight groan and took a Vicodin and a Clozapine with a swallow of water from his bed side. He walked slowly across the condo to his own bedroom and sat down at his work desk. He turned on his computer, read the business headlines, checked on a few of his personal stock holdings and called in to his office for an update. Mrs. Potcia sent him a message, asking if he would like breakfast in his room and he declined. He checked on the nightly reports from Firmin on the income generated at the Adam and Eve Club. It seemed like his business enterprises had gone quite well in his absence.

It’ll be good to get back to work.

A few hours later Bella Lisa burst into the room, full of energy, with a plastic bag in her hands.

“You came back,” Williamson said.

“Of course, I came back!” Bella Lisa said, sitting on the bed.

“What’s in the bag?”

“I bought us lunch. Deli sandwiches and chips. Are you hungry?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Phillipe joined her on the bed and they ate their lunch together.

“I have such good news. First, I called the rehab center and the doctor said my Father is doing much better. They said in a few weeks he would be reevaluated for discharge. He apologized for all the things he said to me and wanted me to thank you for helping him break out of his drug addiction.”

“That is good news. The tenants are on a month to month lease so I can give them notice. Your Father can move back into his condo next month.”

“Wonderful. Thank you, Phillipe. Also, guess what? I got a job!”

“What? Really?”

Williamson felt his gut clench. He tasted the bitter aftertaste of his medication.

That’s it then. It’s the beginning of the end.

“Yes, I’m so excited. I got hired as a foster care social worker at Kid’s Care Social Services. I’ll be visiting foster children to make sure they’re safe in their foster homes and advocating for the parents to try to get the family back together, if possible. I thought I’d work there for around a year, and then use the experience to help on my application for the Master’s Degree program in Social Work at UCLA.”

“That’s a good idea. When do you start?”

“The training starts tomorrow!”

“So soon?”

“I know I promised to take care of you, but they have all these cases that need immediate attention and—”

“Don’t worry about me, Bella Lisa. I’ll be OK. I feel much better. But what about the job I offered you? I really wanted you to manage my charitable foundation.”