{ Ch. 12 }

It's been a few days since Noah found me on his porch, shivering and cold. He literally held my hand and comforted me for that whole night. I had never seen him so... not stoic.

It was refreshing. I definitely liked it. "You ready?" Those two seemingly meaningless words stir a well of butterflies inside me. Ever since the beach couldn't help but think my feelings were more than just one sided. He gave you a freaking forehead kiss, your feelings are definitely not one sided.

Everything Noah says seems to always have a double meaning. Are you ready for school? Are ready to face the hordes of people? Are you ready to see Maddison?

Noah and I have come to an agreement. I'll stay at his house until I recovered from that whole Father mishap. But I'm still going to Rey's sleepover tomorrow.

I don't know why Noah's humoring me, letting me do my own thing, maybe because of the beach conversation or because he wants something else from me. I honestly have no clue, but whatever it was I'm grateful. Not that I'd say any of it aloud though. I said thank you and sorry to him more times than I could count this weekend - I might be homeless for now but I haven't fallen so far as to thank someone for being a decent person... again. I scoff, as if I remember how to be one.

I'm selfish and hopefully I'll stay selfish. Selfish is good - it means I don't get hurt. But the people around you do. I've tried for so long to stay away from getting emotionally attached and I'll be damned to let it ever happen again. Like what happened to your mother Delilah. Ignorance was not bliss. I would really have wanted to know about what Wyatt knew. Then at least I could've done something. But whayever it was, Wolfe was somehow in the middle of it. I have years of blackmail on Wolfe - but not enough to keep him out of our lives. He'd just make bail again and I need something permanent.

"I'm ready." I say semi-confident.

He unlocks the car doors and I graciously slide into the seat. Noah doesn't talk much. I've debated the fact that he might be shy or mute but neither theory works so aloof will have to work for now.

Rihanna blares over the speakers. "Thanks for letting me stay at yours for the weekend." I say and he shrugs. "There's more than enough space in the house." "Will you stop, I'm trying to be nice." I roll my eyes for the hundredth time and the beginnings of a smile hints in his face and momentarily blasts me away.

He never wears true emotion besides smug satisfaction, impassivity and more anger. This was a good development. "Stay until you find yourself a place Della." He smirks.

"How many times do I have to tell you, don't call me Della!" I say contempt in my voice as he languidly drives us to school. "It's either Della or sweetheart so choose." He says mild amusement filtering through his rough timbre of a voice.

I say nothing, staring out of the window and that stupid sexual tension befalls us. Trust me when I say it's always been there, but since the stupid evening on the beach my whole 'eye contact and no touching' tactic hasn't been working. I mean can you really even avoid someone you're constantly around?

We pull up in front of the school late. The school is deserted and I know in that moment I'll probably get detention today. "We can leave anytime now sweetheart." Noah's voice rings out snapping me out of my thoughts. "Um - Yeah, sure. Let's go." I get out of the car knowing we were completely late but neither of us caring about it.

I reach my class in a daze, the morning utterly hazy and vague at best. I move in the flow, go to class, do work and repeat. I sigh as the bell rings for lunch. The one thing I've been avoiding all day. I take a seat at an empty table, still avoiding Morgan. I accidentally left my phone on speaker when Lloyd was over and he heard their whole debate about whether or not Morgan should make a move about Lloyd. He responded and now Morgan was giving me the cold shoulder.

"Miss me Dellie?" I whip my head in the direction of the voice and Kael grins at me and I beam at him. "Of course El." I hug him and he engulfs me with that smell of his. Apple and cinnamon. Like the crumble Mom used to make.

"So why are you sitting here all by yourself?" He asks me brow raised. I shrug, "I'm avoiding Morgan." He winces, "I'm sorry I didn't stay that night Dels. Apparently, on top of me being in trouble with Jess - Henry fell out of a tree." He rolls his eyes and I stifle a laugh, "He just couldn't stay away from trouble, could he." I laugh. "Jess agrees. She laid down the law last night." He tells me amused. "Grounded, no parties, no Xbox, no phone and no alcohol or drugs for the next two weeks."

I laugh, my eyes catching Noah's and he looks so lost. Hopelessly lost. "Kael, I'll see you later." I say and Noah slips out of the cafeteria and I follow him - leaving Kael alone at the table with a knowing grin. I need to get to Noah - and I need to get to him now! Maybe, just maybe, I might actually... No! I warn myself. Stay in denial where it's safe. "Noah?" I call down the empty corridor. Think, Delilah, think. Where would he go? I run outside, I know exactly where he was. I walk around the school, up the steps of the fire escape leading me straight toward Noah Slater.

His back toward me and I walk warily. "Noah?" I ask hesitant. His mirthless chuckle sends a shiver down my spine - and not the good kind. "How'd you know?" Noah sits against the ledge, the only thing separating him from falling and the rooftop. He's smoking a cigarette, I almost forgot he smokes so he's either super stressed or really irritated, his hands shaking with a energy I'm cautious around. I shrug. "I don't know." Actually he told me he liked heights a while back, probably the first time I slept over at his house. The first time I saw him smoke too.

"Bullshit." I watch him take another pull on the cigarette. "Are you just gonna stand there?" He snaps and I take my time to sit next to him. "So what happened?" I ask, sitting next to him and he passes the cigarette to me but I dont take it - he knows how I feel about cancer sticks. His eyes flash a dark cloudy blue. I watch him patiently, taking a drag from his almost finished cigarette.

He stares at the gravel ground.

"My parents are in town." I look at him confused. "Isn't that a good thing?" "No." His voice is blank and a warning that no more questions will be answered. "It's the opposite, Delilah." He tuts. "The complete opposite."

"I don't understand Noah," My brows are furrowed and his expression is blank. "My parents aren't exactly winning any parent of the year awards." His voice sounds stoic as usual but his eyes - they say a million things words won't. "Wolfe is my brother." He begins. "My filthy rich grandfather doted on me - always said I was the legitimate heir because Zach was born out of wedlock - you know how it was back then." I looked at Noah with the freezing realisation that just maybe - this story I was about to hear was worse than anything I'd heard before. "Back then Wolfe was not only my brother, he was my best friend," Noah sighs, "...and I was too young to know that my grandfather was the main threat to our friendship."

"Until my grandfather died - splitting most of inheritance to Wolfe - I like to think he felt bad for shunning the kid. I got a third of the family fortune but Wolfe got everything else. My parents were true leaches - suddenly giving Wolfe the attention he wanted and more than likely deserved... neglecting me. I thought I'd be okay - even when Wolfe and I grew apart. But everything changed when Wolfe completely threw me to the wolves," Noah chuckles at the pun. "He completely abandoned me, and left me with nothing but a swiss boarding school and broken perspective."

"And your mother? Larina?" I ask him, trying and failing to disguise my curiosity but according to me: if you had one horrible parent the other one should be less horrible. "Larina has no spine. She just goes along with Vernon. If Vernon hated pink then so would she, if Vernon hated me so would she. If Vernon loved Wolfe..." Noah trails off. "Wolfe then came and told me about you and how sorry he was for being just like the family that hurt him... and I was jealous. He had a amazing girlfriend, my parents loved him, people gravitated toward him like bees to a queen and he was getting help - and finally facing his problems." Sadness blinds him for a second. "I did what any jealous boy with guidance and abandonment issues would do." I suck in a sharp breath.

"I started a fight with him." The argument was stuck in his memory, especially telling by the haunted look on his face - one that was reliving every mistake. "It's my fault Wolfe ended up the way he did."

"To be able to forgive others, Noah - you first have to forgive yourself." I say, my eyes shining with icy tears. I had to forgive myself for believing my dad was no good... and I had to forgive Derek.

I rest my head under Noah's chin, his arm around my shoulder. We sit on the rooftop until for a while in silence. I watch the changing of the sky with Noah, silently hoping someone would fix what we couldn't.

Suddenly as if remembering something unpleasant, Noah turns and looks at me, wanting everything but without giving an inch. "I remember you saying something about your dad finding you in a holding cell." Noah's gaze narrows on me - wanting me to reveal something, wanting me to say something.

"So what do you want from me?" My voice hard as he steps closer - my face panicked and Noah sees my distress, holding his finger to his lips. "I want..." He leans in, and I hold my breath as he opens the top of my shirt. "I want the truth Delilah, why were you so chummy with the NYPD - more dirty cops?"

I let out the breath as he backs away from me, eyes widening when he sees the tiny wire running down my chest. "How quaint." I say, effectively masking up my surprise at his response. 'I can explain' I mouth, not really wanting the Feds to hear my conversation with Noah.

This boy is dangerous on so many levels, I don't like playing with fire but somehow - it's got me enchanted.

"I heard you were a rat, Delilah." He pauses for dramatic effect. How mysterious... Not. "Tell me the truth, why are you here?" Noah says with that indifferent coldness that shakes my core.

"Don't test me Noah," I warn him. "You won't like the consequences of your actions."

"What are you going to do?" He raises a brow, adding insult to injury. I am not a defenseless little girl, I could take care of myself. "Run back to them?"

"You don't wanna do this Noah Slater." I say again, more defensive this time. "Wolfe and my brother aren't the only ones I've associated with on a regular basis."

"Don't fuck with this hacker Slater." I pause as I walk away him - heart beating a million miles per second. "I might not be able to fight like you, but I'll be damned the day I let you or your bastard of a brother bully me again."

"So that's why you're fucking feeding Wolfe information," Noah's icy voice bites out "You don't want to be bullied." He air quotes. "What did you say?" I stop in my tracks and snap toward Noah. "Look here Slater," I shove my finger into his chest. "I've fucking put everything on the line for you." "Yes, I want to see Wolfe die a painful slow death and yes - I want to away from these damn underhanded criminal pain in the ass gangs but -" I say pissed. "We gonna have to come to a mutual understanding here," I pause to breathe, "I'm on you side, idiot."

"Do me a favour," I shove into him heading down the stairs to go to class. "Kill the asshole who said that." 'We need to talk' He mouths quietly back to me.

My eyes grow and I slowly shake my head now was not the time for this conversation, 'meet me at the beach at four. Our spot.'

Noah's look is icy, freezing me in one place. "I want to know everything." He whispers in my ear too low for anyone except me to pick up.

He shoves past me and I fight the urge to cry. I never wanted this...