5

KAJOL

Icleaned up after my microwave dinner. There was a time in my life when Friday night announced the beginning of the weekend to be celebrated. Now it just found me alone and sad, lacking in any kind of joy. Nothing more depressing than spending weekends alone while the rest of the world seems to enjoy theirs. Frustration whirled inside me as I busied myself with cleaning up. I was so tired of this pent-up anger, pain, and frustration that I wanted a holiday away from myself. I really wanted to go back to the person I was a year ago… but yet again, today had not been a simple day.

I needed to move on. Find a job I could manage while studying, which would hopefully pay for my studies, my apartment, food, utilities, and help me pay off the mortgage to my parents’ home … Perhaps I could even move back to my previous apartment. I loved that place, and it came with the added advantage of nicer neighbours. Another thing I had given up, to adjust to my new financial situation after their death.

A job that would solve all my problems. Easier said than done. Finding one that could cover all my expenses was nearly impossible. Leaving aside the time, I would need to follow a four-year BS degree in fashion. My eyes coasted to my Mum’s sewing machine in the corner. Fashion had been my dream since the time I was in my teens. A dream I was adamant about fulfilling, especially after I started researching my Indian heritage. I loved that side of fashion even more. I wanted so much to bring about a collection that combined Indian ethnicity with the cutting edge of the Western world. Just like the beautiful couple that my parents had been, my Indian dad and my English mum. It might remain just that now. A dream.

I was up to my elbows, scrubbing away at pots when the doorbell rang. Drying my hands, I went to open it while shrugging off my annoyance. Nine was late to make a house call. But then again, I wasn’t open to any house calls. At nine in the evening or morning.

Slumped in the doorway was none other than Adam. His hands in his pockets, his blond head bent and looking, probably, for his lost dignity in his scuffed shoes, or perhaps for my lost inheritance, the mean streak in me thought. He startled when the door scraped open. What did he think? That I wouldn’t open the door? Come to think of it, why did I?

“What the hell are you doing here?” Did I have to see this addict today? Stealing all your girlfriend's money and gambling it away, even if it is in a posher place like the stock market, didn’t make him any better than an addict.

“I live here.”

My hands clutched onto the door so I could rein in my temptation to let my hands claw his face off. “You live here if you pay the rent. You haven’t done that for the last six months. And now I can’t pay my rent either. Because of you.”

He shuffled his feet, guilt dancing on his face. There was a scuffle from downstairs, and he looked uncomfortable. “Baby, can we go inside and talk about this? Come on.” He pleaded, trying to grab my arm.

I whacked his hand out of the way like the annoying fly that he was. “Don’t “baby” me, Adam. You didn’t think of your baby when you were gambling away my inheritance. My inheritance, Adam. That was the only thing left of my parents for me. What right did you have to go after that?”

“Come on, baby, it’s just money. What we have together is so much more. We went through your parents’ deaths together and came out strong. We have each other.”

He might as well have punched me right in my heart.

“How dare you bring my parents’ deaths into this!” I didn’t care anymore that I was yelling. I wanted the entire building to know what he had done. “What did you go through? Huh? Were they your parents? Did you support me? Did you feel the loss? Poor you. Flying out to their funeral was an effort too much for you, you big fucking idiot.”

“Come on, baby, you know that’s not fair. Funerals really aren’t my thing.”

“Nothing is your thing, Adam,” I screamed in his face, ignoring the puppy eyes he was putting on. The time that I fell for that was long gone. “You couldn’t stand by me when I needed you the most. You couldn’t bother to support me. Hold my hand. The only thing you could do is apparently gamble all my money away.” I thought I had forgiven him for not coming with me. Turned out I hadn’t.

I heard voices below. The neighbours were getting a great show tonight.

“Why are you here, anyway?”

“I miss you, baby.”

A sigh left my body like the air of a burst tire. My anger ebbed away to give way to disappointment. I felt deflated.

“Do me a favour. Stay out of my life from now on. I would sue you if I could. I am sure I would have a case. But thanks to you, I have to struggle for everything now.” My voice cracked. It always let me down when I was overwrought with emotion. “I can’t start my studies. I am struggling to pay my rent. I need to find a job soon. So unless you have a solution to that, get the hell out of here.”

I would have loved to slam the door in his face. But of course, I had to be stuck with an old door hanging lower on the hinge, which took all of my energy just to get it to close.

Leaning against the door, I listened to his shuffling feet move away. I could faintly hear a conversation with the neighbours down. Good. He could explain all his shit to them.

Cleaning up appealed to me even less than before. Exhaustion overtook me as I dragged on Adam’s stupid shirt to sleep in. I really needed to find something else, it was just that it was so comfortable. He owed me that much, at least. Switching off the lights, I crawled into bed. Tomorrow was another day and hopefully a better one.

I must have been lying in my bed for no more than ten minutes when the usual banging from downstairs started up.

The show of every night.

Covering my ears didn’t block the stream of Russian being screamed out and the noise of the headboard banging onto the wall. Did they have to go at it all the time like a couple of rabbits? Did that guy not need a break? I had never seen his lady friend, but at the sound of it, she was one hot piece of sex on Red Bull.

I tossed and turned and tried covering my ears with my pillow. All I asked now was for one good night, then tomorrow, I was going to come up with a plan. Find a job, try to save something, … or maybe I should move back home. There was nothing for me in Boston anymore.

Adam was in a casino. He sat in a coffin and yelled that he hated funerals. He was handing out my dollars to strangers while watching my neighbour banging a hot Russian woman on the backgammon table in front of him. In the next minute, it was Adam with the woman, and the neighbour turned around to me. “You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen,” he whispered and touched me. I felt cold. I tried to move away, but I couldn’t. All three of them were there in front of me and covered in nothing but dollar notes. There was a piece of repetitive music in the background, which got louder and louder. It sounded like a tribal song and increased in volume, taking over whatever they were yelling at me. It hurt my ears. Suddenly, it sounded like a doorknob and softened in volume. Wait.

I jerked awake. That was the doorbell being rung again and again with a repetitive tapping on the door. Half asleep, I stumbled to the door and found my neighbour had popped out of my dream to stand on my doorstep.

“Sorry, didn’t realise you were sleeping.” His eyes visibly licked me from top to toe, leaving me in need of a shower, badly.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus on him.

What was he doing here?

“We heard your argument yesterday with your man.” His eyes settled on my cleavage again.

I collected my open shirt collar together, driving his eyes back to my face. No point hiding my story anymore. “We broke up.”

“My woman is well connected.”

Okay. And that’s helpful, how?

“If you are looking for a job that pays well, she has something for you.” He almost puffed out his chest when he said that. “She gave me this card to give to you.” He pushed a card into my hands. It was a simple black card with Casa Corleone written in embossed red letters. “They need a nanny and will pay well. Easy money.” He clicks his fingers together like money would just come falling from the ceiling.

I turned the card over. There was a phone number on the back. The whole thing looked posh and out-of-place coming from him. He was already moving away when I looked up again. “Thanks!” I yelled out.

His head popped up again on top of the bannister. “No problem. Call them. Corleone will pay well.”

“Hey, what’s your girlfriend’s name?”

“No bother,” he yelled back before shutting his door.

Ugh? That’s not what I asked. I should get her name. It might help me to get in if I was referred by someone. Although I didn’t know them. They had only moved in like a month before, and they knew me from my fights with Adam. Nothing good about that.

I went back inside and touched the card in my hands. It was soft to the touch like it was made of velvet. Posh and Italian? I had to google these people, and come Monday, I would call Casa Corleone for a job.

I didn’t care who gave me the card. A job was a job.