Chapter 8: Preparations

I almost got killed, and the others were on the run. That was why, we needed to prepare if we were to go out of here; on our way home or not. We didn’t know what tricks we would encounter on the way. At least, Neil had said so.

After his brief, and frustrating speech, he instantly launched into planning mode, meaning, going into our mode of escape, what we would do if we were to encounter enemies, what we needed to be bring— most of which could be found in the convenience store in just the other room.

In the meantime, I raged. Silently. They didn’t hear another word of complain from me. What was even the point? Neil had taken charge of our group, just as the shady people in the school had tried to take charge of us before. And with all of their escapes coinciding with their own safety and gains, who was I to tell them to bring me back home? They were past the stage of listening, I figured. Even Audra who hadn’t said anything once after the plan was made.

Hanz came back inside the room after a few minutes of scouring the convenience store, a big pile of things on his hands. “Hey,” he said, dumping all the stuff near me, presumably so I could help. “That painkiller kicking in yet?”

“Yup.”

“Great. . .” He let the words trail in the air, his brows tightly-knitted, his hands slipping in his jean pockets. “About Neil—“

“Peterson, you’re up.”

Before Hanz could even continue his thoughts, Neil was already there in the room with us, giving Hanz a look. So that was his plan, not to let us talk.

Neil pointed his thumb towards the door, however. “Audra and I agreed that we should take buddy systems from now on. You can go and look for the grass you can eat on our travels, while I stay here with Leighton, keep watch.”

“Sure.” But Hanz suddenly looked uncertain. His eyes flitted to me once before he shrugged his shoulders and jogged to the door. So much for a conversation.

The room started to fill with discomfort when Neil went to Hanz’s place and started rummaging through the pile left behind. Flashlights, matches— there were all sorts of things on there. But he needn’t explain to me what they were for. They needed to survive, and they didn’t want to take any unnecessary detours. We had everything we could take right here.

My stomach was beginning to protest when Neil began to talk. “Going home to your parents will all get us killed. You know that right, Leighton? It’s selfish of you to even suggest it.”

“How is it selfish of me?” I asked.

He looked at me for the first time in minutes, his eyebrows cocked up. “You can’t even walk,” he said. “You’re a liability at best.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“None of this is our fault and yet here we are.” He gave a nonchalant shrug. “What do you even think is waiting for you at home, huh, Leighton? Your parents wouldn’t help you. They didn’t even help you when you were attacked in the school.”

“None of us knew that would happen.”

“Alright. None of us did. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that if one of us stops, we’ll all be caught in this. Even calling anyone now will make matters worse.”

But we weren’t sure of that, were we? I thought. My parents could be free from all this. Other people too. And on top of that, my parents would support me. Even if I was difficult. Even when I was lesbian and I never said a thing.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the guilt of not communicating more with them. As a family, we’d all suffered through much.

But they would help us, wouldn’t they? With my parents, there was a higher chance of survival, if only Neil would take the chance.

“What do you have against me?” I said, my voice turning hard. Bitter all of a sudden. “Since the school, you had always been hostile to me, Neil. I’d never—“

“Neil, we’re all set.”

Hanz and Audra came back into the room, squashing all the chances of me giving Neil a piece of my mind. With Audra there, and her best friend in the same room, I was having difficulties saying anything because I knew that whatever I did to him would affect her. I owed her so much already. Yet. . . Her best friend was a monster. How was that even possible?

Audra placed three backpacks down, courtesy of the store. “They carry almost everything in there,” she said. “Flashlights, food, even a deck of cards. The only thing that are missing are firearms and knives. Too bad, because that’s what we need, plus components for a working radio or phone.”

“Isn’t it cool, though?” Hanz placed even more food down; Corns, beans— the last one he intentionally positioned in front of Neil. “The store is equipped with almost everything. Mr. Dante, the owner, is a big adventurer, that’s why.” He continued. “The man’s a little old school, but he takes vacations every so often in this far unknown place. Almost everyone in the block calls him the Turtle Man or something because he likes turtles so much. But he doesn’t mind the term and continues giving us the good stuff in this store.”

“By good stuff, you mean those beans?” Neil questioned Hanz, eyeing the stack.

“Hey, what am I supposed to eat?”

It seems that even Hanz had made up his mind for this journey. My stomach protested again, as the realization of him not helping me at all dawned on me. Of course, he’d want to find the cure for his parents first, not take me home to mine.

But Neil, expecting this turnout, gave me a half smug smile, a half matter-of-fact one. “Now,” he said. “Let’s just divide this among us. Hanz, do you think you can carry supplies for two people?”

“You mean for Pax?”

“Yup. Unless you’re thinking of leaving her behind.”

“Course not.” Yet Hanz didn’t look at me. He kept his eyes on the stuff, his ears beginning to turn red.

I wanted to yell at this. At everyone. But somehow my voice and the words wouldn’t come out.

Neil, who was still triumphant-looking, managed his expression into a steady one, but I knew that in his mind he was giving me the middle finger.

Well, fuck him too.

“After we sort the food, I’m going to teach you people how to make weapons” he said. “Don’t worry about the quality. I’m pretty sure it could hurt anyone. Even kill.”

Hanz, for a second, stopped and gawked at Neil. “Seriously? Where’d you learn to do that?”

“Let’s just say that Audra and I are not your typical high school students.” Neil smirked, ran a hand through his curly hair. “We hurt everyone who gets in our way. Friend or foe. Always remember that.”

Neil definitely wasn’t kidding when he said that he would teach us how to make new weapons. He dove into it the moment the bags were sorted out. And to think that he would use cardboard and magazines for it too. How was he able to learn that?

Going back to the room, Hanz and Audra had a lot of cardboard boxes on their hands. Maybe the owner had them lying around somewhere. Somewhere not in the office itself.

Hanz placed the supply down with a huff. “Are you sure this is going to help?” he asked.

“Yup,” Neil said, immediately grabbing one for himself.

“But cardboards, man? For weapons? I don’t know. . .” Hanz turned briefly to Audra, who was positioning herself in the middle of the room to give them space. “Where is the knife you got from my kitchen, by the way, Audra? Can’t we use that instead?”

“I dropped it,” Audra said, regret flashing on her face. “The gun Neil had before has gone missing too.”

“I see. . .” Hanz turned back to Neil, who was now reaching for the scissors; those small kinds of things that children used at pre-school and couldn’t hurt a fly. Hanz sighed under his breath. “I guess I’ll just have to see this to believe it. We don’t have a choice anyhow. Mr. Dante is a pacifist.”

By pacifist, it meant that the owner didn’t sell anything dangerous or kept a pistol under the counter like some store keepers did. Apparently, the three of them checked thoroughly before coming back. Even for radio’s and phones. Triple checked, in fact.

Neil began ripping a magazine, all business on his face. “Why don’t you help me by grabbing some toothbrush from the back room, Peterson? Those would definitely help.”

“Fine.”

An hour later, and what looked like to be a rather astonished Hanz, took one of the weapons they made from scratch, mouth slightly open, eyes roaming the icepick-looking thing. “Incredible!” he said, turning it over on his hand for further inspection. “They’re just like the weapons the prisoners used on TV. A shank, like they call it? Had you ever gone to prison, Neil?”

It was obviously a joke. But Neil, straight-faced and still working on another weapon that looked exactly like the other one, shook his head diligently. “Nope,” he answered. “But Audra and I will probably end up there one day. We’re just preparing all our lives. You can never be too prepared for that.”

Hanz snorted. But from the conviction on Neil’s voice, even I believed that they really thought they would end up in prison. Why?

I glanced at Audra as if to ask the question, but she was looking at the window, lost in her own thoughts.

I yelped in surprise when Neil suddenly tossed something to me. “Stay on your toes, Leighton. Oops, my bad.” He sneered. “You can’t even stand up.”

“That’s not nice,” Hanz said, giving Neil a glare. “You know she would if she could.”

“But she wouldn’t,” Neil answered. “She’s too damn scared. That’s why she’s in that position.”

Okay, maybe I wasn’t as cool as them, rushing into things, preparing into battle. But back in Hanz’s kitchen, I held my own didn’t I? Why did he have to hold that against me?

I was about to say that when I remembered Audra in the same room with us. Bitterness spread inside me as I bit back my tongue instead.

“Alright, we’re pretty much done,” Neil informed. “Hanz, when we leave this safe house you’re the one who’s going to go in front as I said before. Audra, against my will, you have to carry Leighton, while I carry two of the bags myself. Any other suggestions? I don’t want any blunder on this when we’re finally out.”

“No. But where the hell are we going?” Hanz asked. “How are we going to escape the suburbs? We don’t know if it’s blocked.”

“I haven’t quite figured that out yet,” Neil admitted. “I was too concerned about making the weapons. Is there any map in the store by chance?”

“You mean tourist maps?”

“Those can be used too.”

“No, I checked it already.” Audra had rejoined the conversation again, eyes not once landing on me. “But we haven’t checked this Dante guy’s own possessions, have we?” She shrugged. “We were too focused on the store. Maybe he does have a map or a weapon after all, in this office.”

“I didn’t think about that,” Neil confessed. “Alright, everyone, spread out in this room and try to check if there is anything we can use to defend ourselves, or help along the way. Leighton. . . You stay in that corner and be quiet.”

Bullcrap. I scowled at him. But he and the others were already starting with their search. Meanwhile, all I could do was to squeeze my legs together. Some things were best not mentioned, especially in a group like this.

“Aha!” Hanz was looking triumphant as he raised something in the air after checking an office drawer. Something that was remarkably distorted from my point of view. What it actually was didn’t register in my head, until most of them turned to look at it.

“What?” Neil said, sounding excited. “Is it a gun?”

“Nope.” Hanz went to him and dangled the thing in front of Neil’s face. “It’s a turtle. Told you we call Mr. Dante Mr. Turtles.”

Neil, with a growl, slapped the plushie away until it flew and hit the wall. “The heck is that supposed to be, Peterson?! I told you to look for something we can use. This is absolutely no time to focus on a toy!”

“Be quiet!” Hanz said. “You’re going to bring everyone here.”

“Well you’re the one screaming in the first place!”

“Guys. . .” Audra’s voice was barely audible. But all of us turned to look at her anyway, especially since what she was holding was far more valuable than the plushie before. The two boys immediately dropped their fight.

“What is it, female?” Neil, for once, didn’t sound like he was going to rip someone’s head apart.

“I don’t know yet,” Audra confessed as she brisk-walked back to me, spread what looked to be a parchment paper on the floor, though newer and bigger looking than the standard ones. A blueprint began to show itself. At least, that’s what I thought it could be with all the lines and the names. It was barely a comprehensible map.

Hanz and Neil, who had also made it back to us leaned closer to take a better look. “Woah,” Neil muttered. “How did he even have one of those lying around?”

“What is it exactly?” I asked.

Audra, who was looking at it with all of her might, sounded more than willing to answer. “It’s a sewer blueprint if I’m not mistaken,” she informed. “But I think before obtaining this, you need to have a good reason from the government. They don’t just hand it out like tourist maps.” Her head titled to Hanz. “Is Mr. Dante, the owner, an architect of some sorts?”

“Nope.” Hanz shook his head. “As far as I know, he’d been the owner of this store for as long as I remember. But his life before that, who knows?”

Neil’s face cranked up into a grin. “Who cares if he’s an architect? Or a wannabe in his spare time? We don’t have a proper map, but this is as good as it gets, even better.” He pointed to a name on the parchment. “We’re here, aren’t we? There’s a manhole a few blocks away. Do you know what this means?” He swiveled to Audra for confirmation, but she didn’t respond. “We can leave the area through underground, guys. This is such a stroke of luck.”

“But my parents!”

It had been a long while since I yelled out like that, but it was worth it, especially seeing the shock registering on Neil’s face.

“What about them?” He turned to me, quick to recover.

“If we can just go see them, explain what is going on—“

Neil snatched the map. Then quickly rolled it to its original state. Conversation finished, as far as he was concerned.

“We leave by tonight,” he informed the others. “There is plenty of time to rest this afternoon. Catch some sleep. You’ll need it if you want to fight off those people. Audra, you stick with me.”

Just like that, they were silencing my wishes, leaving me alone. I felt disembodied. Like everything was happening around me and I had no other choice but to go with the flow. Even Hanz, who went to pick up the plushie on the floor did so with utmost silence, his eyes on his own hands.

How could they do this to me? It was so unfair.

Two hours later, and everyone was fast asleep.

Me? I could have lost consciousness for all I cared. Nothing was going according to my will anyway.

But then a creak sounded, followed by silent footsteps.

I would have screamed if I could, except strong hands had suddenly clamped around my mouth. Then firm, stable arms dragged me away before I could warn the others.