Chapter 3: Cynthia

So after exchanging a few emails with Jeremy, he asked to meet me at this Starbucks on Rockville Pike. I almost said no, but it had been six months since Flaccid Bastard crushed my heart and I thought what the hell, I might as well go try to meet someone new. Jeremy didn’t seem like a serial killer, at least from the emails. As I entered Starbucks I looked at all the people hunched over their laptops and smart phones. An extremely handsome and sharply dressed, older man made eye contact over his newspaper, looking at me inquisitively. This guy had the kind of thick brown hair you want to brush your fingers through, movie star looks and a body like Hugh Jackman in the Wolverine. It was painfully obvious to me that we weren’t in the same league. Embarrassed, I turned around to get the hell out of there.

“Cynthia? Is that you?”

I immediately liked his deep resonating voice and several coffee skanks much prettier than me must’ve liked it as well. I fully expected there to be a competition to see who would be the first to say, “I’m Cynthia!” The Starbuck sluts looked at Jeremy and sized each other up, pheromones raging, caffeinated claws out. I nearly shook my head no, but his eyes locked on me, freezing me in the doorway. The next thing I knew he was beside me, asking me what I wanted to drink, buying me a decaf. He stood so close I could smell his sexy cologne. I breathed in, but nearly forgot to breathe out.

“Would you like a pastry, Cynthia?”

The question deeply embarrassed me, though I’m sure it wasn’t his intention to do so. I guess I look like the kind of hippo who enjoys her pastries. Too many of them end up around my hips, especially since the departure of Flaccid Bastard. I shook my head no. I didn’t even really want the coffee, but it gave me something to do with my hands.

He led me to his table. He was drinking an Earl Grey Tea, with cream and honey. He became self-conscience when I noticed the remnants of four opened honey packets on the table which he cleared away immediately. I don’t know why but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about the honey. Perhaps that attribute will come in handy for me later on with him, yes, ladies?

“Having some honey with your tea, Jeremy?”

He flashed me a fairly wicked smile.

“Yeah, now you know my deepest darkest secret. I like to taste sweet things, Cynthia.”

He looked at me with these intense, unsmiling eyes and such a hunger in his masculine voice that my stomach fluttered and my knees felt weak. Even though I was strongly attracted to him, I stood up and looked down at the table as I spoke.

“Thank you for the coffee, Jeremy, and it was a pleasure meeting you.”

I turned to leave.

“Where are you going, Cynthia? Why are you leaving?”

“It’s obvious we’re not in the same league.”

“What? That’s not true at all. I find you—”

“Jeremy, I’m several pounds over—”

“Please, Cynthia. Don’t leave. Sit back down with me. Give me a chance to talk to you at least. I really haven’t talked to anyone in months.”

I slowly sat down, spilling my coffee onto the table. Jeremy helped me wipe it up with a napkin.

“You know who you remind me of? Lena Dunham from “Girls”. Do you know who…”

“Of course, I know her! She’s kind of like a hero of mine. She’s brilliant!”

“She’s pretty, but you’re much, much prettier, Cynthia.”

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as he complimented me. I don’t remember Flaccid Bastard ever saying something so sweet to me. OK, whatever you’re selling, I’m buying. Sign me up, Jeremy! Sign me up!

“Listen, Cynthia, I’m sure after what I have to propose to you, you’ll probably think I’m completely out of my mind. The last two women didn’t even show up for their appointments.”

“They stood you up?”

“Yes. You’re the first woman I’ve actually met who responded to my personal ad. Maybe what I’m trying to create is not really feasible. It’s just a crazy sexual fantasy of mine, but could you stick around just for a minute, finish your coffee and hear me out?”

“OK, go ahead. I’m listening.”

He spoke of how his ex-wife cheated on him and how he caught her in the act, the image of her infidelity burned into his mind. After I opened up a little and told him a few details about my ex, he mentioned how we had a lot in common. He explained how we were both trying to figure out a way to recover from the trauma of our messy break-ups, and that perhaps we could help each other in the recovery process. He made it clear he was not looking for a serious relationship, but wanted to try becoming sexually involved with several women at once.

He wished to share his love openly and freely, in order to avoid the unhealthy fixation he had on his ex-wife that led to so much pain and despair. Our relationship would be non-exclusive and only sexual if I wanted it to be. He assured me I would be welcome to meet him at his large home every Friday night, starting at the end of this week at 9PM. He gave me his card with his address on it.

I recognized the upscale address where he lived, mansions in a wooded area on the outskirts of Rockville heading out toward Shady Grove. If I changed my mind about the arrangement or met someone new who didn’t agree with the alternative lifestyle, I would be able to leave the Harem with no questions asked. I think my back recoiled when he said the word Harem, so he explained he wanted it to be more like a social club where sex was an option between consenting adults, but couldn’t think of another word to call it. There would be a simple contract to sign that his lawyer advised him to create, to protect his assets from being taken away in a lawsuit.

“Cynthia, come by Friday evening and I’ll give you a nice massage, at the very least. You don’t have to touch me, or return the massage. If you’re not in the mood for a massage, we can just hang out and talk, if you’d prefer. I like talking to you, Cynthia. In fact, you can drop by any time you want. Here’s my card. Just call me or text me if you want to come over. Do you think you can make it Friday night?”

“I don’t know. I’ll… have to think about it.”

“Of course.”

I offered to pay for the coffee, but he stopped my hand before it entered my purse.

“Don’t be silly. Absolutely not. The coffee is on me. Thanks for letting me unburden my twisted fantasies upon you, Cynthia. If I never see you again, forget about your ex-boyfriend. What did you call him again?”

“Flaccid Bastard?”

“Yeah, him. Forget about that guy. You know, fuck him. He doesn’t know what he gave up when he left you. And by the way, Cynthia, you are not overweight.”

“Really? Perhaps you need to get your eyes examined Jeremy.”

“What I mean is… I like the way you look. You have a very pretty body…”

I looked down at the table, stunned. No man had ever, I mean ever complimented my pear-shaped body before.

“Of course, you’re not telling me the truth, but it’s very kind of you to say that, Jeremy, even if you are lying,” I said, blinking back tears.

“But I’m not lying to you, Cynthia. I find you very attractive.”

“Uh-huh. Well, who wants to be told truth, anyway?”

“Come on over Friday, Cynthia. We’ll just hang out and talk.”

“Maybe, Jeremy.”

As I stood up to leave, he politely stood up as well.

“See you around,” I said.

I turned my back and tried to get out of there without tripping over anyone. I heard his voice on my way out of the door. By his tone, he sounded like he thought he’d never see me again.

“Have a nice life, Cynthia!”

Oh I will, Jeremy, I will. Starting this Friday night.