Chapter 4

“Vera.”

Ethan finally spoke, his voice dry.

He straightened his back. “You’re the deputy leader. You know the rules.”

“Before an infected person mutates, they have to leave the camp, or…” His gaze hardened. “The captain handles it personally. The protocol is clear. Infected personnel are either exiled or eliminated. Choose.”

Eliminated.

One word—cold military terminology—like a blade driven straight into my heart.

The team stirred around us. Someone turned their face away, unable to watch. Someone silently stepped back. Someone’s hand was already on their weapon.

Sophie pressed close to Ethan and whispered,

“Ethan, you have to think about the whole team… the deputy looks like this right now. If she suddenly…”

“Shut up,” I said, staring at her.

Sophie flinched and shrank back, hiding behind Ethan.

Ethan took a deep breath.

“I’m giving you a choice. One: leave now.”

“Two.” His hand moved to the knife at his waist. “I’ll help you end it.”

Help me die.

I looked at the hand wrapped around that knife—this was the hand that once held mine while we walked under the trees in Colorado Springs, the hand that clung to me on the first night of the apocalypse and refused to let go.

Now it wanted to put me down.

The force inside me surged like a storm. The gray-white pattern crawled across half my face.

I drew in a breath. The pain inside my body made my mind razor clear.

“I choose one. I’m leaving.” My voice was so calm it shocked even me.

Ethan visibly exhaled, relief loosening his shoulders.

But Sophie spoke again, louder this time.

“Ethan, you can’t just let her go! Her gear, her supplies—they’re the team’s! If she takes them and the zombies get them…”

She paused, then slipped back into that weak, gentle tone. “It’s not that I’m petty… it’s just… we barely have enough resources as it is…”

Ethan frowned. “Sophie. Enough.”

Sophie raised her voice. “I’m stating facts!”

“She’s not the deputy leader anymore—she’s infected! How can the team’s resources go with an infected person?”

A few teammates exchanged looks. Some nodded. Some shook their heads.

Right then, a short, shrill scream ripped through the camp perimeter.

Everyone snapped toward the sound, panic flaring.

Ethan immediately pointed at a few people and sent them to check it out.

Then he looked at me. His expression was complicated. When he spoke, it sounded like it cost him.

“Vera. Your gear… has to stay.”

I laughed.

I laughed until tears spilled out.

I nodded. “Fine. Take it. All of it.”

I started stripping off my equipment.

Tactical vest. Combat knife. Pack. Food. Water.

Every item I removed, I threw onto the ground.

Metal clanged against metal, painfully loud in the silence.

Ethan turned his face away. He couldn’t look at me.

But Sophie’s eyes lit up. She stared at the pile like a starving wolf staring at meat. Her mouth kept acting, though.

“Ethan, at least let her keep a knife… can’t you? Fine. Rules are rules.”

When I was done, I had nothing left but a plain combat uniform on my body.

“Is that enough?” I asked.

Ethan’s lips trembled. He couldn’t speak.

Sophie cut in quickly. “Enough, enough! Ethan, let her go already!”

Ethan finally looked at me. Something flickered in his eyes.

“Vera… I’m sorry, but I have to—”

I didn’t let him finish.

I set that useless bottle of inhibitor gently by his boot, then straightened, meeting his eyes.

I said nothing.

And turned toward the camp gates.

The gray-white pattern had already spread to my left cheek. The force inside me slammed against my bones, nearly tearing me apart.

Every step felt like walking on knife points, but I walked straight. I didn’t look back.

Behind me, Sophie’s voice burst out, bright with excitement.

“Ethan, we can redistribute all this gear…”

Then Ethan’s strangled, restrained bark—“Shut up!”

Colorado’s December wind cut across my face like blades.

I left the camp and moved into a stretch of ruins I’d been watching these past days—relatively safe.

The force inside me finally snapped its restraints.

It erupted.

Agony tore through my limbs and bones, like my skeleton was being smashed apart and rebuilt.

I collapsed, curling into myself on the ground.

Under my skin, the gray-white pattern ran wild. Wherever it passed, skin split, bled, scabbed, split again.

In the distance, zombies shrieked—closer and closer.

But I couldn’t move.

My consciousness sank. My body burned.

Ethan. Sophie.

I’ll wait for the day you come begging me.

Then I fell into endless darkness.