His Mind

Robert alternated looking at his mother and dad at the dinner table. Carmen was correct when she said that their mom looked hot, but their father didn't seem to have noticed. He only talked about work and the next week's schedule. Then, he raised racing, and Patty.

Robert couldn't help himself, perhaps because he was a glutton for punishment. "Patty is one of the best drivers in the Southeast, Dad," he declared. "She is famous and the next Lella Lombardi". He added.

“ How could she head off to college now?" He wondered why his cousin would give up racing for psychology.

After a brief pause, his father resumed chewing. At last, he swallowed his wine and said, "On the grounds that it's the correct thing to do."

Robert paused, then, said, "Hmm."

His father placed both elbows on the table. Still nothing. She made a decision regarding her future. His index fingers protruded like a steeple into his chin as he paused. His eyes narrowed, "You could learn something from your cousin, and my sister never wanted Patty to race."

Robert waited, but nothing happened. He was aware that his father would never alter his decision when he resumed eating. Patty was the only person who had stood up for him. She had urged him to have faith in his fantasies, told him not to crease under the assessment of others. She had already taught him something. She had taught him everything he needed to know about racing, including how to kickbox, but now she was giving up and ending his dream.

After the dinner, Robert thumped on Carmen's door, and opened it. On her desk chair, she turned around and said. “Who are they?”

" When did you learn that...haha”

"Robert... you should wait for me to say come in or get the fuck off."

He sat down on her bed and said, "I'm sorry and when will I be old enough to have my door locked?"

"Hmm, when I buy my own house... Isn't that everything Dad said to us?...Ya-know?”

“Yes, I am aware. I also live here”.

“But I'm a woman. I require privacy”. She rubbed her chest with her hands.

“Change is occurring”. She said.

"They...oh, sure they are. But I'm not here for that”.

Carmen turned her head and narrowed one eye.

“All in all, you didn't come to sneak a look at my wonderful woman bumps, what is it then?"

“Jeez.” He retreated to his elbows.

“I'm actually here for Dad, are you kidding me? He must be aware that it is my dream. I enjoy racing! I have a great chance to drive that car, and if I succeed, I might take over Patty's vehicle when she goes to college”.

"Why don't I speak up? A decision?This is my life”. Carmen had her chin in the palms of her hands and her elbows on her thighs when he looked at her. Her cheeks were being strummed by her fingers.

“ Please accept my apologies... I know how you feel”. She got up and sat next to him on her back.

“I'm almost there, and all because of Dad, I've never had a serious boyfriend..So I perfectly understand”.

He held her hand like they had when they were younger because he thought she might be crying as he listened to her. He never liked when she wept. “Is everything alright?” He pressed.

"Yeah," she replied.

“ That's all. I just, ah, feel sorry for you and for us”. She pressed his hand.

He could feel her distress, and he knew there was more going on, but he didn't look. “I'm here if you ever need to talk”.

She said, "I understand....We have always supported one another”.

"It's eerie being connected the way we are." He said.

“Eerie??” Carmen gave him a second squeeze and looked at him.

“What are your expectations? We're twins”.

"You're a girl, but I'm not," He replied.

“No, you aren't, and it's a little odd for me as well, but I'm glad you are my brother. It made dealing with dad and the death of mom easier. I wish I could recall the circumstances when my mother was alive. Was he still the same then?”

"I don't know...Orva, I mean mother, I recall her continuously being there and making it more straightforward. I'm hoping she has pictures. Although they didn't lose their babysitter”. Robert wasn't happy that his father married their babysitter.

"She's perfect, but when they got hitched everything transformed," she said.

“But Patty allowed me to race”. He said with his head bowed as he revert the conversation.

Carmen's voice vanished as she said, "Orva...She would let me wear makeup and date, but dad..."

"Yeah, you're right”. He exhaled deeply and continued, “I'm screwed”.

"Speak with Patty. You are aware of her intelligence. She may be able to assist. Heck, Aunt Jane and Dad are very similar, and Patty got to date, race, and wear makeup. Ouch"

“Maybe, but Uncle Brian is completely distinct from Aunt Jane and Dad. He is so very different”. Robert stated.

They talked about their father, Katie, and how quickly things were changing as they lay there for another thirty minutes. They didn't know what they wanted to do with their lives after their junior year, which was quickly coming to an end. If racing didn't work out, Robert didn't tell Carmen about his alternate strategy.

"Thanks for listening," he stood up. “For a sister, you're alright”.

“As a brother...You good too."

He looked back as he made his way to the door. Carmen was still lying flat on her back, but her legs had been lifted off the end of the bed.

“Even though I don't do gymnastics, I have to be careful of my lumps, my humps, and my lovely lady lumps”.Carmen appeared to be straining.

"Thinking of Large round-butt". He smiled and said. "It's working," and quickly changed the subject.

“About Mom, what's going on? The outfit worn today was, you know”.

Carmen raised her eyebrows and smiled.

“My guess is that she is attempting to get a little... “

“I can't hear you hehe...." He covered his ears with his hands as he left Carmen's room. Contemplating on how to live his dreams drove him mad.