9
I swear I think I might hate him already; eyes as empty as I suddenly feel, my heart pounding in my ribcage as I try to control every inch of desire to tell him to go fuck himself. I would rather be in a river than this.
‘’I don’t think I like you as much as I thought I might. You’re no fun and you have serious control issues.’’ I start to get up slowly and deliberately, telling myself to walk away before I erupt and make this worse. I need space to calm down and think this through before I throw in one of my Princess tantrums and earn an enemy for life.
Getting up fully I turn to leave, but he’s fast, catches my wrist and tugs me down beside him harshly, so I practically fall on top of him my cleavage almost bursting out of my negligee with the way the fabric has been pulled tight. It’s almost under his nose with how close we are.
‘’I don’t care if you like me. You will do as I tell you and suck it up, Sweetheart. Otherwise, you and I will have a lot of problems. This sassy whore act is not interesting in any way and I really have no desire to fuck you. I want to use you for your skill, make money and not deal with any female drama in the process. I don’t normally hire women for prominent roles so this is a learning curve and you will quickly learn your place, what to do and when to nod and say “yes sir”’ Alexi runs a finger down my throat as he stares at me cruelly, almost nose to nose, my chest heaving with my struggling breath as I hold it. His thumb traces over the curve of my left breast intrusively, which is bulging out at him.
Tingles burn my skin with his touch, and despite myself and how much hatred I have oozing his way right now my knees press together in response and my inner body spikes with heat. I know what he’s doing, it’s all mind games and putting me in my place. It’s all about being my master and calling the shots, so I steel myself and bite my inner lip to stop any outward reactions or involuntary expressions that he is looking for and just scowl at him instead. Holding my body taut and stiff so he gets the vibe I want him to get his fucking hands off me.
‘‘Like I said … Control issues!’’ I grit my teeth at him and yank my wrist free as I glare at the smirk he has going on. He seems unfazed as I disentangle myself from him and pull away to straighten my dress. Yanking it so my cleavage nestles back in the lace, where it belongs. Alexi gets up to tower over me and just seems completely amused and unruffled.
‘’You have no idea how much I like control. Keep it up London, and I might rethink fucking you just to show you how much I can make you not like me.’’ He smiles fully this time, sinister in that tone, his eyes paling out with a hint of anger and a lot of edge that tells me it’s not an empty threat. My whole body runs cold as a wave of unease floods me and my anger simmers cowardly.
I got under his skin anyway and yet my heart fluttering in my chest and limbs tightening are more of an anxiety related reaction than anything else. I feel a little sick that maybe I am out of my depth where he is concerned.
I know better than anyone that men can make sex a cruel act of torture. I should know better than to play with fire. He seems like he would be good at making sex horrendous.
‘’Maybe I should leave you to your drink and go to bed. You have someone waiting after all.’’ I answer him nervously, hating that he’s catching hints of my fear, but I have never had to navigate someone like him, who sends so many conflicting signals. Gentleman and smooth player to brimming danger with the possibility of demonic things. I make another move to leave but like before, he isn’t done with me and stands in my way, catching me by the arm as he spins me back to him. Almost nose to nose as he leans in fully to meet my height.
‘‘I’m not your hero or someone who wants to be your friend or lover. This arrangement was not my doing, but I will make the most of any advantages that fall in my lap. The sooner you learn to nod, smile and obey me, the better it will be for both of us. You represent me now and therefore all you do will be controlled by me! Learn when to shut your mouth and play nice.’’ The deliverance is that low psychotic tone I saw in Lucie’s office. I swallow hard and try like crazy to stand taller, lifting my chin defiantly, despite my limbs turning to jelly.
Backing down to monsters is not the way to play the game. You have to show strength or they will walk all over you and pound you into the ground. I have dealt with evil many times before, I just need to remind myself this one shields it with charm and great bone structure, but he’s no different to other men. I have to challenge his authority over me and not let him grind me down into the dust. Do not show weakness.
‘‘My name is Camilla, not London. I can follow orders, thanks for clearing up that little debacle for me; now I know what line there is and what not to cross I won’t waste my time or yours playing games. Enjoy your night Alexi, I am going to bed.’’ I say it forcefully, voice strong and hiding any hints of a wobble but my flushed skin tells a different story and the heat in my cheeks tells me I am probably blushing crazily. I can’t hide my reaction from his eagle eyes.
There’s a moment of pause as he just looks at me and I wish I knew what was going on in that sharp head. I think that’s what unnerves me the most. His brain is a closed and locked room while most men are predictable and readable in small ways. Alexi has a poker face that has been honed to expert levels and those eyes tell you nothing at all about the inner workings of his mind. Empty palest grey and completely devoid of human emotion.
‘’I want you down at my office for nine a.m. We start going over the designs and brainstorming over the problem with finding escorts on a permanent basis and working out other fine details. From here on in you can call me Mr Carrero, and you can try opting for longer dresses and keep your tits under wraps when I am around.’’ He yanks my robe closed in front of me harshly and I automatically catch the fabric and pull it tighter in a bid to feel more secure. Scalded, seething and cursing that this went the whole opposite way to how I imagined it would. I thought getting under his skin was going to be a piece of cake, but I underestimated him.
Carrero is a hard brick wall, and I am not even close to knowing him well enough to lever into any weak spots. If I even want to anymore. All my instincts are saying to never poke the bear and leave it well alone.
‘’Yes sir!’’ I grit through my teeth sarcastically, putting my all into those two words and try not to glare at that stubborn deadpan face as he steps away from me with a furrowed brow.
‘’That’s more like it. There might be hope for you yet. I like women who know their place in my world.’’ He smirks devilishly and then brushes past me with a sideways glance, dismissing me and his mood in a spookily fast moment. I swear punching him in the throat would make me feel a whole lot better but instead, I just start counting in my head and try hard not to erupt at him.
‘’I’ve heard … On their knees, gagged and bound while Master has his fun!’’ I slur dryly, unable to just stop that mouth of mine when I ought to know better. It got me many a backhanded slap or punch in the mouth when I was younger and I don’t know for sure that he isn’t a man who won’t stoop to that level of control.
I move to walk to my own room hoping that the padded crap on his walls has an actual purpose for more than aesthetics in his mostly black bedroom. I had thought it weird at first but now I’m thinking it’s more than art. Muffling the screams of his victims nonetheless, and I should be running for my room and locking the bloody door.
‘’Sometimes!’’ He smirks and strolls off casually, like he owns the world before he opens the door to his dark hole and disappears inside to go do whatever to that poor alternative to what he could have had.
If I had a heart I might even feel sorry for her, but instead, I am thanking my lucky stars that he didn’t actually make me his victim for a night. I have seriously underestimated him. Part of me wonders if maybe I did have a lucky escape. I’ve never been into BDSM or bondage, and the thought of letting someone like him tie me up and possess me cruelly makes my blood run cold.
I was eleven years old the first time my mother held me down and let a man use my body for his own dirty need so she could feed her own junkie habit. I cried, screamed and threw up in my own mouth, and yet they never let me loose until he was done with me and the damage was irreversible to my fragile mind.
I became a tool for her to get her fix and my own worth and sanity played second fiddle. I’m glad the stupid bitch overdosed when I was fifteen but it didn’t save me from the hands of her pimp boyfriend for the years that followed or the repeated way he would hold me down, tie me up and force me to take what he could give in any cruel way he wanted.
I don’t intend to ever let myself be put back in a situation where I can’t have some say or some control ever again. I would rather kill myself than endure letting any man ever take me back into a place where I was powerless to save myself. I won’t be a toy to be poked, bruised, whipped, and hurt anymore.
If Carrero is a man that requires that from the women he sleeps with, then maybe I should just focus on work and money and forget this dumb idea about manipulating him for my own ends. He’s hot, sexy, yet dangerous, and that makes an alluring package overall. He’s not like most men and the added little S&M thing is not a turn on for me—it’s a deterrent that changes everything.
Men with kinks and money are used to getting what they want, and I have no longing to become another controlled pussy for hire when they are notorious for pushing the boundaries as far as they can with no fear of consequences.
I spent years trying to run free from that life and I won’t become his piece of abused arse for anyone. Let him beat and gag his cheap sluts. I will stay the hell away from that and do what he wants me to do. Provide fucks, fun, smiles and product, and make a lot of money.
Four weeks of overseeing refurbishments and my mood isn’t exactly improving where Carrero is concerned. In a month I have learned nothing of value about him, not managed to get under that mask of indifference or become anything more than an annoying voice in his day.
He comes and goes sometimes, with another bimbo in tow, and I am sick to death of hearing the women wailing like banshees through sex anytime he stays over. I never opted for a roommate who had a sex drive of a serial screwer, and I sure as hell don’t want to fall into bed every night and listen to some slapper getting off with him when I am tired and pissed off.
I’m frustrated as hell with the lay of the land and this is not what I thought it was going to be, he has all the upper hand and I’m nothing more than a glorified concierge in the making. He’s infuriating and cold, bossy as shit and completely devoid of any normal human emotion.
I feel like I might hate him, even if he is still too pretty for words. Our relationship is strained to say the least, and we are no more ‘’friends’’ than we were on that first day. He’s the hardest person to warm to that I have ever met and every move he makes is completely planned in every way. He’s the King of manipulation and has a brain that seems to be constantly ticking behind soulless eyes that give nothing away; he’s a player alright a very clever, devious one who only lets people that share his DNA close to him.
Everyone else gets kept at arm’s length, and he’s forever strolling in and out like Master of the universe and barking orders at me. I have had it up to here with him. Even if he only stays overnight a couple times a week and the rest of the week he is in and out like a freaking yoyo.
The club is slowly changing. Lucie is sulking like a wet dog and avoiding looking my way for fear of reprimand from his master, and I swear if Carrero commanded it Lucie would lick his boots. He tries to exert authority when Alexi is absent, but I have learned that ignorance is the way to deal with him.
I eye roll, sigh and walk away like he’s nothing more than a buzzing fly around my head and it gets to him way more than outright defiance does. He now spends all his time hiding in his office and hating on me from afar with ugly little squinty looks.
‘‘Here, I want you to go get a dress for tonight; opera suitable.’’ Alexi tosses a credit card at me across his desk as he walks into the room I have been sitting in, waiting for him for the last half hour. He told me to come up here and as usual, like every fucking time, he made me wait for him until I couldn’t stand it any longer, then wanders in when I am on the verge of storming out.
I think he does it on purpose and it grinds on me hellishly. The guy gets a kick out of me sitting around endlessly, bored to tears while he swans around, and eventually shows up to wander in and act like my purpose in life is to wait on him.
‘‘Run out of trampy dates to take?‘’ I throw him some sass, no longer able to conceal my dislike when he’s around and I no longer have a desire to. Most women fall at his feet and I would rather just ooze hostility instead.
His ego is big enough, and I am not going to add to it. For the most part, he just ignores me anyway after his initial chastising on my ‘’attitude.’’
‘’I want someone who knows how to work a man. I’m finally making use of all the pent up frustrated sexual tension you have going on; it’s business and I have someone I want you to charm for me.’’ He throws me a smug look and the thought of pushing his letter opener in his face right now actually crosses my mind. It’s within reach and very sharp. I wouldn’t even feel bad with leaving a permanent scar on that face.
‘‘So, no sex until you demand it of me, with a man of your choosing?’’ I can’t conceal my disdain, my voice dripping with venom to match my mood. It’s no different to the fucking pricks who ruled my life for years. I’m just another prostitute in a classy dress with a higher breed of customer.
Alexi makes me sick to my stomach and I sometimes wish I had the guts to poison his coffee. Alexi closes the gap between us, to where I am standing and tilts my chin up to his face with a finger. Surprising me with the sudden physical contact and immediately muting my mind fury. I become docile and compliant with the surprise of the manoeuvre and just stare up at him while rendered silent.
‘‘My property, remember? I said charm, not fuck.’’ He penetrates my brain with a loaded look and I lose all courage when faced with his hands on me. It’s like being touched with a supercharged electric volt anytime he even gets close to doing it, and he can render me completely useless in the seconds after. I hate that he has that effect on me.
‘’You want me to flirt and seduce someone to do your bidding. What happens when you don’t let him follow through?’’ I query unsurely trying to shake off the effects of his skin on mine with very little success.