Chapter five - The New Rachel(1)

Rachel was serving up dinner, excited to welcome Ethan back home. She couldn't wait to see him, hold him and kiss him. Two weeks apart did her good, it reminded her of the positive things about being together with Ethan. She could move past that horrible dinner night with his family. The phone calls during the weekend set the mood between them. She couldn't get rid of the ridiculous smile which was spread across her face while she hummed her favorite song, pouring them their rich red wine. Lightening the candles her eyes wandered to the doorway hearing footsteps approach her, her smile fading when she noticed the look in Ethan's eyes.

"Ethan?"

He set his suitcase at the side of the doorway, staring her down with accusing eyes.

"What's wrong?-"

"You dare ask me that?" He asked her, the anger in his voice causing a shiver to run down her spine, "Let me think, dinner with Parker at Gabe's house while he was your date. I think that's what's wrong. What the actual fuck, Rachel?"

She stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself protectively, "Ryan wasn't my date to their dinner, he was my ride." She told him, "I didn't tell you about it because I knew you'd freak out over nothing and leave Boston without wrapping things up on a good note."

She could tell her words weren't reaching him, he was beyond pissed. She knew no matter what she'd say he wouldn't listen to her. He made up his mind and decided that she betrayed him. It caused the feelings of that horrible dinner to bubble up again. He treated that as if it was nothing, yet it had been heartbreaking. This dinner at her sister's place was nothing compared to that. She was certain that Gabriel also assured Ethan of this.

"You know very well that I do not like Ryan Parker." He told her, clenching his jaw.

She nodded, "I know you don't like Ryan. But Ryan's a friend, I'm not going to stay away from him because you're being unreasonable."

"Unreasonable?" He asked her, "If it was something innocent you didn't have to hide this from me. The fact that you did hide it from me makes me come up with all these crazy thoughts about why you did that."

She walked around the table and approached him carefully, "Why can't you trust my words right now? Nothing happened between Ryan and me, we only took a car to and from Gabriel's apartment. That's it." She lowered her voice, tears forming in her eyes, "Or are you still comparing me with her?" She asked, her voice breaking as Tiffany once again ruined their night even with the woman being locked up behind bars, "I don't know what I have to do to make you realize that I would never do that to you."

He was staring at her, his eyes darkened with uncontrollable anger. It told her he was never going to trust her, he'd always wonder about her. Tiffany broke that in him. The tears spilled from her eyes as she finally faced reality. It was never going to get better, it was only going to get worse with the years. Always wondering if she was betraying him or not. She couldn't deal with that. No matter how good things were between them when they ignored the obvious, when reality did hit them in the face it was getting so bad it was even painful to breathe. The fact that their relationship made her feel like she was physically in pain wasn't a good thing. She inhaled deeply through her nose, trying to calm herself down. She lowered her shoulders trying to get rid of the tension which she had been feeling due to Ethan staring her down. A small smile spreading across her face.

"I can't do this anymore." She told him, "I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight." Walking around him she headed to the bedroom to collect her things.

She grabbed a weekend bag and shoved in whatever clothing item was within reach. Once she had everything she needed she disappeared into the guest room, closed the door behind her and settled in bed. Grabbing her phone she texted Valerie, letting her sister know she needed to talk. She couldn't do this anymore. The romantic dinner she had been looking forward to was ruined. The tears spilled from her eyes as she cried over the fact how happy she had been to finally see Ethan again. They hadn't said the words, but she knew what it meant. She cried herself to sleep that night, promising herself that tomorrow she'd stop crying over Ethan, forever.

***

Emma permitted her to take the day off so she could get her life back together. Ethan left for work early that morning. He had cleaned up the dining room, the evidence of her dreaming of something which would never happen gone. She had packed her suitcase, taking it with her as she went downstairs to meet her sister. Valerie didn't know about her plan, but the minute she'd lay eyes upon the suitcase Rachel dragged with her Valerie would put one and one together. In silence Rachel rode the elevator down, trying hard to push every thought of Ethan into a box which she'd never unlock again. She walked out of the apartment building, meeting Valerie's confused gaze.

"Gabriel mentioned that Ethan lost his shit last night." Valerie told her, "I didn't think it would be this bad. You two need some time apart?" Valerie asked, helping her put her suitcase in the trunk of the awaiting car.

"We need to be apart, forever," Rachel told her sister, climbing into the car first.

Valerie followed after her, closing the door and reaching for the button to put up the privacy screen. Rachel knew her sister would have tons of questions, she wouldn't change her mind though. Something told her that Ethan would be okay with this as well. In his eyes, she was just another Tiffany.

She stared out the window, feeling completely numb inside since she let everything go that night. The fact that she did a full-on makeup look this morning hid the redness on her skin. She looked like hell but no one would be able to tell. She'd wear it as her mask to hide her weaknesses from others. She already started a new chapter in her life by putting her faith into Emma. She'd focus on that and no longer let a man be the reason for her to wake-up in the morning. The thought made her smile, a genuine smile.

"You shouldn't make a decision like that after an intense fight like that." Valerie told her, "You can stay with Gabriel and me for a while. You can figure out what you want while being away from all the tension and Ethan."

She faced her sister, "I already know what I want." She told her without hesitation, "Ethan and I will never be genuinely happy like Gabriel and you are. Ethan can no longer put his trust in women after what Tiffany did to him. I can't be with someone who'll always second guess my intentions. It's toxic. I don't want any of that in my life."

"You sound so sure about this," Valerie stated.

"I made my decision last night."

Valerie looked away from her, her voice sounding small as she asked her, "Does Ethan know about this?"

"I haven't talked to him yet, but I know he won't fight for me." Stating that out loud didn't even hurt anymore, "He didn't speak up on my behalf in front of his family, why would he choose to take my side this time?"

Valerie knew she was right, her sister had no words to say. Instead, her sister reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. Tightly Valerie held onto her while they were heading to Gabriel and Valerie's apartment.

***