Chapter 3: a mate is everything

"Son, tell me, what makes an alpha?" The man asked, crouched in front of his six-year-old son, the little boy's wrists in his grasp. The boy blinked a couple of times before shyly responding to his father's question.

"His strength and ability to step up when needed, his power and his ruthlessness. To be strong enough to mercilessly crush one's enemy, to show no fear."

"Very good, son. And what are you?"

"An alpha."

"And what would you do if any challenges you?"

"Slaughter."

_____

I swayed my chair from side to side, my leg crossed over the other and my mind was occupied with thoughts I couldn't pinpoint. I knew I was thinking, but what exactly I was pondering on is what I couldn't pinpoint, or even remember, though I was still thinking about it. It was a normal thing for me. It helped me think and at the same time, don't think. And spared my mind the agony of overthinking. With so much to do and barely enough time and energy to do it, not thinking and thinking was my best way to solve it.

The recent pack members gave me a new workload. The settlement of each new member: their new jobs, living arrangements, and the previous work I was yet to complete were too much to handle. If I had a mate, then she would have handled the new pack members, but I didn't, and never would. The pack issues were what I had to deal with all by myself. Working is stressful.

A gentle knock on my door had my brows furrowing with confusion and pausing my swaying. Since when did he knock? It meant he needed something from me. He pushed the door open, revealing his dishevelled medium ash blond hair and pouting face, definitely something.

"Alpha," I rolled my eyes, already knowing I would hate whatever he needed. "I…or… The Alpha of Shtylla e forcës sent an email, another peace loyalty nonsense,"

I chuckled, resuming my swaying. Just like Father said, fear is a powerful weapon to control kings. Over the years, I'd lived almost according to his lessons and rules, following similar procedures in the way he ran the pack and the neighbouring packs that had sworn their loyalty to him and then me. I never went looking for trouble like he did, that was something I considered ridiculous and a waste of energy. Instead, I went after those that challenged me and slaughtered those who angered me.

The two alphas went far with their arrogance, claiming the lives of five valuable pack members, one more valuable than the rest. In my anger, I did what I knew how to do best, I rained chaos on them and let their downfall act as a reminder to those who had forgotten how cruel I could be. The result of the fear was having alphas dump their responsibility on me, leaving their pack members for me to cater for or suffer, as long as they were promised safety from me. It was ridiculous, yet, I could never turn them down. Father repeatedly hammered it into my head that rejecting an alpha's token of defeat is a sign of weakness for me.

I am no weakling.

"How many pack members did this one offer this time?"

"His is quite different actually, better if I must say," he spoke, running his eyes around my office.

"Oh?"

"He offered the free passage of our men to search for their mates in his pack. Now, you know that is an offer one won't easily turn down." Which was true. Every alpha would agree. An alpha is also stronger by the number of its pack, so any chance to get more members and produce offspring was a good offer. It was safer, as they wouldn't need to fight for entrance, resulting in casualties like death and severe injuries. However, in this case, the offer was for him.

I groaned, sinking into the chair. "Oh, come on! This might be my only opportunity to find my mate!"

"You say that every time, Cooper, no."

"Oh, please, Drixy, I need to find her. You know how much I've been hoping to find her," which was precisely the problem. Cooper had always been the most hopeful I've met when it came to mates. No matter how many times we visited other packs and still didn't find her, he still hoped, and his zeal was still as strong as the day he first learnt what a mate meant.

"Everett already found his, and he keeps rubbing it in our faces—"

"I don't care—"

"Of course, you care! A mate is everything!"

"And what if you don't find her? Cooper, I can't stand you returning with your face mopping the ground over again. I don't have that kind of heart to comfort you. Why can't you see that I'm only looking out for you?"

"And why can't you see that I need my mate? Like you once told me, I'll never know if I will find her unless I try."

"I never told you that." I deadpanned.

"Please, Drixy, I have hope that I will find her this time. I really will. I know I say this every time but what other choice do I have but to hope?" His hope would be the death of him. Every time, he would leave with such enthusiasm, but after not finding her, we'd have to deal with consoling him and dragging his motionless body back to the pack where he would grieve for weeks before returning to his hopeful safe and repeating the process all over again. How he was able to still carry such enthusiasm was something no one could figure out.

"Please, do this for me. Okay, I should get Everett and Brie to help me—" I whimpered, not them, anything but them. This is what my father subjected me to. He insisted I be friends with the Beta's son and the next chosen warrior captain, resulting in the punishment I call life. I love them, but tolerating them was a heavenly gift. Now add Cooper's older sister to my misery, life was beyond sunshine and songs.

"Please, don't bring Everett into this, I beg you," I pleaded.

"Then accept it. I'll give you my firstborn child, I promise. If you can't do this for me as your Beta, then do this for me as your best friend—"

"You and Everett locked me up in a coffin because I forgot to give you both Christmas presents," I said blatantly.

"We were kids! We didn't know any better!" I cocked a brow at him.

"You both locked me up in a basement filled with venomous and hungry vipers, that was yesterday."

"To err is human and to forgive is divine." He replied sharply. He poured every ounce of cuteness he could muster into his eyes. There was no need of refusing, I would eventually agree. Why? Everett would join to plead and both kids begging for something would lead to my funeral. Sighing out loud, I gave him a nod.

"Thank you, thank you! I'll email him right now. There's also an extra offer, but I'll tell you that later, bye!" And that's how useless he would be until we are back from the pack, his hope mopping the floor. He ran out of my office screaming, "I'm going to find my mate!" It's sad to watch, knowing how that smile will turn upside-down in a couple of days.

‘I wish you had his enthusiasm,’ my wolf chimed. I ignored him, like I'd always done when it came to matters of mates. It was easier to ignore him than try to talk him out of it. Eventually, he would realise that we are never getting one.

_____

An hour later, I had to stand up for the new soul warriors' welcoming. A ‘must’ occasion for every new soul warrior to commence their training. What I didn't like about the situation was that I would end up with Everett and that one is worse than Cooper. They are like two peas in a pod, one more frustrating than the other. As predicted, the meeting with him didn't end well.

"For the umpteenth time, I said no!!!" I roared, turning around abruptly to startle him into submission. He flinched, then blinked thrice before resuming. Nothing scares him that much because he never takes no for an answer. I could have used my alpha command on him, but my wolf would rather kill me than let me use that for such common matters. And I sort of loved them too much to do that.

"So, I can take your car then?" I facepalmed so hard I saw stars. The impact of the smack made me stagger back a few feet back with a groan, blinking to get rid of the dizziness. But, he still continued. "Can I get the keys?"

"Everett, I'm not letting you take my car!"

"Okay, can I take your motorbike?"

"None, Everett. The last three times I let you, my cars never returned the same. You always drive into a pole or trees! And last year, you drove my car off a bridge!"

"Well, sorry, sir, I'm not the one who forbade me from driving vehicles. If it bothers you that much, then buy me a car or revoke my ban. Ooh! Can I drive your Maserati!"

"And get you killed? No. Heck, Everett, you found a way to make driving a bicycle more terrifying than a death race!" I screamed. Everett and any moving inanimate transportation is his own death certificate. I don't know why he can't just not try to kill himself. "Ever, I love you, but I am not giving you my car, not again," I said irrevocably. He scoffed.

"It's not my fault roads and I have mutual hate. Those things are evil, they always try to kill me. I mean, we hate each other, I get it. Why set out to end me…" I sped off while he was distracted, which I probably shouldn't have because a few minutes into running, I ran into the queen of violence. I turned to run the other way before she noticed me, but a rock collided with my head, sending my face flat on the ground.

This is what happens when you make a lunatic your older sister.

I moaned in pain, the rock rolling off my head. "And where do you think you are running to, you imp? Walk with me." She strolled past me, her hands on her waist to support her weight. For a pregnant woman, she had the strength of a thousand elephants.

I stood up hurriedly, rubbing the back of my head and following her. I would have helped by carrying her, but the last time I tried to assist her, she smashed my head with a hammer.

Brie led me to her flat. The living room was a mess of carbon boxes and irons. I looked at her questioningly. "Today is the day Nolan and I agreed to decorate the baby's room," her sadness took over her violent aura, forcing it on me.

Nolan was her mate, the important one killed by the other pack. After years, she finally found her mate, only to lose him shortly after conceiving. Brie was strong though, she didn't let his death break her but remained as strong as she always was, only more violent than usual. With her, violence is the answer.

"Do you want me to get Cooper?"

"No, he's in his mode again. I prefer not to see his happiness and later cry over his disappointment. You'll do just fine. Now, help me decorate your godson's room."

"Just me?"

"Do you expect me to work? I'm pregnant!" She snapped. Yet, she chased Cooper with a log the other day. Deciding to keep that statement to myself, I walked towards the box but then remembered I didn't know how to do anything concerning kids. I never let myself learn because I didn't have a reason to.

"Um, maybe we should get Cooper, I don't know how to set this. If he was here, he would know how to do it because he has been practising for his future pups. But again, he'll end up doing something stupid and then you'll throw your TV at his head, again, for the twelfth time. I've always told you, Brie, violence is not a virtue."

"Say it again, my fist is ready this time!" She screamed. I chuckled, keeping every other remark to myself. Eventually, she showed me how to set up the room, and with some smacks and kicks here, I finally finished with the decoration. I hurried to the door to escape before she came up with another reason to actually use her hammer on me, but I was too late. "Alpha, stop right there!"

‘Alpha? This can't be good, run away!’ My wolf, Alaric, panicked. However, when she got to me, instead of what I expected, she wrapped her hands around my torso and hugged me from the side. ‘Huh?’

"I know you are pretending to be okay, acting as if the issue of a mate doesn't bother you, but I know it does. I don't care what you believe, I don't need to believe what others believe. I believe that soon, you will bring the Luna of Lúa infinita home." A hopeful waste of time.

______

"Daddy, why do the other kids say I would never get a mate like their parents?" His father looked at him over his shoulder and through his hair, tearing his gaze from the window where he stood. He looked down at the tearful boy, memories of how he reacted when he was first informed of the same thing replaying in his head. He turned his attention back to the window, staring into the horizon with lips pressed into a thin line.

"Because monsters like us don't deserve one."