Chapter 4: Promise

Chapter 4

"WHATEVER happens after this, Allie, promise me you'll be happy. Promise me you'll do everything to be happy. Promise me you'll follow your heart."

Allie gripped her mommy's palm tightly. "Of course, mom. But you can still see me being happy. Don't deny it, ha." He swallowed as if something had stuck in his throat.

Her mommy smiled but she saw the sadness in her eyes. "I will always love you, Allie."

Someone grabbed his shoulder. When he turned around, his eyes met Enzo's.

"Let me talk to Enzo alone, Allie," said her mommy.

Allie gave her mommy a light kiss on the forehead before leaving her room. He leaned against the wall and stared into space. A few minutes from now her mommy's operation will start. She is scared. But she has faith.

Soon Enzo came out of the room. He approached her and to her great surprise she suddenly hugged him. Even without saying anything, she knew he was taking this the hard way, too. They grew up together and if he considered Tita Lily and Tito Miguel second family, so did Enzo in his Mommy Nella.

Allie and Enzo didn't need words. This hug spoke all the words they could not say.

Allie clasped her palms and prayed fervently. A few hours have passed but he still has no news from his mommy. He placed his face on the palms of his hands and closed his eyes firmly.

She is scared. Nervous. Earlier, before his operation, he spoke to him in depth. Her mommy smiled and seemed to suddenly grow strong. After he talked to her, he even talked to Enzo solo. Even Aunt Lily.

But Allie felt, as if ... as if it was letting her know.

He was shaken. No. He cannot be negative. Her mommy will be fine when the tumor in her brain is removed. After this, everything would be alright. They planned to go to Paris when she graduated. They still have a lot of plans to do.

"Here. Eat first."

Allie looked up. A bag of bread opened to him. He looked at the owner of the hand and Enzo opened up to him. Like him, it did not come in to accompany him to wait for the result of his mommy's operation. They are with Tita Lily and Tito Miguel.

He reached for the bread and forced a smile on Enzo. "Thank you, Renz."

It sat beside him. The two of them were just quiet. Allie could not taste what she was eating. Later he heard Enzo pulling the air.

"She'll be okay," he said.

"P-promise me?"

It turned him on. For the first time, she saw an emotion crossed his eyes and it wasn't pretty.

"I can't promise you that, Allie."

He bit his lower lip then bowed. Enzo put his finger on his chin. He moved her face so their gaze could meet.

"Whatever happens, I'll be here for you. I promise."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Good. Now eat."

A few more hours passed. When the operating room door opened and the doctor came out, Allie immediately stood up.

"Doc, h-how's my mom?"

When it shook, Allie felt as if heaven and earth had fallen on her. It was as if he was suddenly numb and he could not feel anything. He sees its mouth open but he does not hear it.

It was as if the world had stopped spinning and she was stuck in the darkest place on Earth.

"Allie!"

He could not breathe. He could not speak. He could not move.

"Allie!"

Everything felt like a dream.

He felt something hold his arm. That was the last thing he felt until darkness took him away.

There is NO emotion that Allie just shouts at people saying goodbye. He did not know how the days passed. Her mommy's funeral just ended. But for Allie, it all seemed like a dream.

It seems like only yesterday, he was still talking and joking with his mommy. But now, it is gone. It left him.

For three days on the hill he did not cry. No matter how hard she tried, her tears did not come out. He seemed to feel nothing.

"Allie ..."

Allie turned to Aunt Lily. This is the only one with him in the cemetery. They did not leave him. It took care of everything about her mommy's hill and funeral.

"Thank you all, Tita," he said softly.

It grabbed his palm and gently squeezed it. "I will always help you, hija."

He just nodded. He saw the exchange of looks between him and Tito Miguel. He rolled his eyes around. Then he noticed Enzo leaning on the Guttierezs' car. The man folded his arms as he watched their behavior.

Like Tita Lily and Tito Miguel, Enzo did not leave her either. Even without words, Enzo stayed by her side when she was grieving.

"Your mom left a letter for you, Allie. Here," said Aunt Lily and then handed him an envelope.

The hand trembled as he took it. "Thank you again, Tita, Tito."

Tito Miguel gently messed up his hair. "Come home with me, Allie."

He shook his head. "I will wait until the tombstone is finished."

"Would you like us to join you?"

"Not anymore. I want to be alone first."

The couple gave an enlightening smile before leaving.

He turned to the place where his mommy was buried. Emptiness dwells in his heart. It was as if a part of her personality was lost when her mommy disappeared.

But despite the pain, the grief, why are no tears dripping down her cheeks?

He felt something hot rest on his shoulder. Even without looking back, he knew what it was; who owns that palm.

"I'm just dreaming, aren't I, Renz?" he said weakly next door.

It gripped his shoulder slightly. It did not answer.

"Why did he leave me so early? I still need him, eh. We still have a lot to do. We still have a lot of places to go." The wind blew him away and then he looked up at Enzo. "Why can't I cry, Renz?"

Enzo was blown away by the wind. He saw the passing of sadness in its eyes. It placed both palms on his cheeks. "It's because you're trying to harden your heart, Allie. You're trying to numb your heart so you won't feel the pain."

"I w-want to be strong."

"Crying doesn't make you weak."

He bowed. He grabbed Enzo's dress. From the cheek Enzo's hands went down to his waist. Without a word he grabbed her and hugged her.

He tightened his grip on her dress. He lowered his face to the man's chest. He did not know why when he felt the heat coming from Enzo, the cold that was building in his heart was gradually disappearing.

Slowly, tears were forming in her eyes until they flowed down her cheeks. She felt his lips on her forehead before he tightened his hold on her. All the tears he could not shed before he released into Enzo's arms.

The coldest guy she had ever met gave her the warmest hug she needed.

AFTER putting the clothes in the suitcase, Allie looked around the room where she grew up. Some of his belongings are in the boxes.

To the Guttierez he will live from now on.

When Allie read her mommy's letter, she burst into tears. It's as if you have no stops.

In her mommy's letter she said goodbye to him. It seems to know that it will not pass surgery. It apologized because it left him. He asked Aunt Lily to stay with him because he did not want her to be alone.

Lastly, she left something behind for her. Her father's name.

Arthur Fernandez.

She doesn't know what to do with that name. All she knew was what happened between him and her mother through the letter. She was glad her mother was able to tell her about it at last.

Allie stood up and stretched. He pulled out the suitcase and left the room. On the way to the living room, Allie looked around their house. He will not sell it. She is not ready to leave the memory of her mommy.

Just like what she had promised to her mother, she would try her best to be happy even if she wasn't here anymore. She would move forward but she won't forget her.

"Are you ready?"

Allie turned to the source of the voice. Enzo was sitting on the sofa in the living room. It left him alone to put away his belongings. He knew he had to be alone first.

"Yes. The others I will bring are upstairs. They are boxed."

He stood up to go up and probably pick up his belongings. When he passed by her, she had no emotion to mess up her hair.

A small smile peeked over Allie's lips. She could get through this. For her mother's sake.

Allie CANNOT sleep. Maybe it's because he lives. Tita Lily, Tito Miguel and even Enzo had been welcoming. Even though he was sad, he was happy with them at the table when they ate dinner.

He feels, he is not alone. It could be that; those who are sad along with being happy.

From lying on the bed Allie stood up. He glanced at the time on the small watch on the bedside table. Two o'clock in the morning. He opened the sliding door made of glass. It is connected to the balcony.

He went out and inhaled the air. He ignored the cold. He looked up at the sky. The moon is round. There are a few stars scattered in the sky.

"Will I ever be okay?" he asked weakly in the air.

"If you want to be."

Allie violently turned to the source of the voice. At the far end of the balcony are chairs and tables. He did not notice when he came out that Enzo was there.

She walked over to the man and sat in the empty chair next to him. Its room is next to his room. There is also a sliding door there like in his room.

"What do you mean?"

Enzo did not answer immediately. It looked up at the sky. Though there was no readable emotion on its face, though its form was serious, he knew it was deep in thought.

"Renz?"

"Tita Nella ... wanted you to be happy. She won't want you to be depressed and sad for so long. It's okay to be sad now, to miss her, to be lonely. But she won't like it when you lose to grief. "

Allie was blown away by the wind. He kept his eyes on Enzo as if he was memorizing the look of it. Enzo rarely spoke. But once it speaks, you will inevitably not listen. To those who might hear him, they might think he doesn't care because of his bland voice but she knew he cared. A lot.

"Will this pain go away?"

"There are wounds that can't be healed by time alone." The man's eyes focused on her. "Sometimes, there are wounds that you can overcome with the help of the people around you."

Gradually Allie smiled. "You really know what to say to make me feel better, ha."

Allie looked away from Enzo. She looked at the palm and then thought of her mommy. Enzo is right.

"I'll welcome the pain, Renz. And slowly, I will let it go. I promised mommy that I would be happy." Allie bit her lower lip. "It won't be easy, I know. But for mommy, for myself, I can do it."

Enzo grunted. She knew it was his way of agreeing to her.

"Renz, hug me!" he commanded the man and then opened both arms. Enzo just looked at him. He did not lower his arms. "Hug," he said again.

Enzo was blown away by the wind and then stood up. He thought it would leave and go back to its room but it didn't. Enzo grabbed her arm. He pulled her upright and then hugged her.

Allie closed her eyes and let the tears flow. This would be the last time she would cry.

Starting tomorrow, she would move on.

FROM the plate Allie turned to Enzo as he spoke. "Will you deliver me?" he asked.

"Yes. Stop looking at your breakfast and eat it, Alianna."

She puffed her cheeks. "Yeah, yeah." Then she added in a teasing tone, "Cyborg."

He " tsk'ed ."

Shaking, he stepped on Enzo's foot under the table. It looked at him badly. She gave the man a grin. He saw how the expression on his face softened slightly.

"Where are Tito Miguel?"

"Work."

"I am really thankful to them. For helping me and for allowing me to live here. For you too. When you hugged me last night."

He just grunted as an answer. His eyes narrowed as he stepped on it again.

"That's the time you have to say 'you're welcome, Allie,' cyborg!"

"Tsk. You're welcome."

"Aww. Very good."

His gaze deepened on her.

Allie just ate. This was good. She was feeling light. She was moving forward.

"I will pick you up later," Enzo said suddenly.

"Why else?"

"You are not used to traveling from Saint Louis back home. Wait for me at your club office."

Then he remembered that he had not come in for several days. He could not even say goodbye to Martin. Maybe when he came to SLU, he would have fired him as manager. 'I hope not. He wants to be a manager. It was one of her gifts to her mother.

"'Sus. You just really want to be with me, eh," Allie joked.

Enzo looked up as if asking for thousands of apologies to God. She giggled. She has so many promises she must fulfilled.

To move forward.

To be happy.

To make Enzo smile.