Chapter 7

Seconds passed before I managed to push Ramn away from me. My eyes were wide as I looked at him. I can't utter a word. I was too baffled by what happened. I don't know what to do first, slap Ramn or meet Atlas' eyes that's been boring holes in my skin.

I blinked many times to calm my raging heart. But, the moment I tried to say something to Ramn was the same time I felt someone grab my waist. The man behind me punched Ramn straight to his face.

I blinked again. Even if I keep on denying, I know that my heart's not deceiving me. I know who's the man behind me because the scent of his musk has been engraved in my soul.

"Fuck you, moron!" Atlas shouted angrily. He pulled me out of the pool and carried me like a sack. I heard him cursing under his breath while I am still shocked from the things that happened to me. I don't know. I just shutdown from everything. From Ramn's kiss until this very moment.

Atlas parked his car not far away from the entrance of the clubhouse. He slumped me in the front seat of his car and left me. My back hurts but the coldness that is coming from the clothes that I was wearing is stronger.

I hugged myself and brought my feet up to the seat. My knees and my jaw are touching each other but I don't care. I just wanted to make myself feel a little less cold.

"Are you that desperate now, Olive? You're letting anyone kiss you?!" he beamed after he sat beside me.

I glanced at him even if I was too frozen. I saw how he clenched his jaw. How he moved his lips to whisper words that only him can understand, and even how tightened his grip to the steering wheel.

I saw all of it. It was a peculiar occurrence. Even if I want to believe that Atlas finally cared for me, the uncertainties and a bunch of reasons for him not caring gushed inside my mind.

I sighed in relief when the engine started. He drove the car fast, like he was being chased. I only ignored it and hugged myself tight.

After a while, we arrived at our house. Even if I was shivering in the cold, I still managed to get out of the car. I immediately threw my heels somewhere and walked to the door.

I turned the door knob but it didn't open. I cursed under my breath because of it. I don't know if I'm just unfortunate or everything's just not in my favor of me. It's annoying, because the truth is, I don't want to face Atlas.

I sighed and secretly hit the door. I wanted to curse myself. I even made a mental note that I won't drink brandy again, and I even blamed Alex because of the shit that happened to me. I can vividly remember what she said to me.

Forget about etiquette, my ass.

I was forced to wait for Atlas. I gave way to him as he opened the door. He gave my clutch bag to me and I don't know why it ended up with him.

"Olive!" I heard him shout when I walked pass him. I heaved a sigh when I heard him destroying the door loudly. It looks like I don't have any choice but to face his rage.

"What?!" I asked. I tried to make my voice firm though I was near to cracking up.

Atlas' eyes darted on me. He looked at me in disbelief. I saw him pull his hair and kicked the pots that contained my succulents.

My anger towards Atlas fired up. I threw my clutch bag and went to him. I heard something breaking but I ignored it. I walked closer to him. Even if he was tall, I looked up to him with bravery.

"What's your problem with me, Atlas?! Aren't you done with your sentiments about me?" I asked him. "Really? Should.I be happy that you finally cared for me?"

I laughed maniacally. I looked intently at his eyes after. The eyes mirrored the soul. I want to see why Atlas was doing this, but in the end, I gave up and shook my head.

"I badly want to rest, Atlas. I already know that I'm hard headed." I walked away.

"I hate you, Olive," I heard him enunciated.

I stopped my pace. I blinked my eyes to suppress my tears from coming out. I clutched my chest because it felt painful. I tried to breathe in and out to calm myself but I lost.

It hurts when the one that I love said those words. It stabbed me in my heart.

I thought my heart wouldn't break even more, but I guess I was wrong. Atlas' words were like a silent gun that hit me hard and killed me. I was left in pieces, wrecked.

"Jen is my first love, Olive."

My tears cascaded down when I heard what he said. Jennefer. Who will forget that name? That was the name that made my nightmares.

"We have dreams. And I hate you because you're manipulative! You didn't even give her a chance! You killed her! She ended her life because of you!"

I shook my head at Atlas. I never killed that girl. She killed herself. She couldn't accept the fact that Atlas will be married to me. I know, I manipulated the forced marriage but I never told the girl to lose her sanity. I never told her to end her life. Why can't Atlas accept that?

"I never killed her, Atlas. She killed herself," I firmly said even if I felt like he couldn't hear those words anymore.

"Because of you! Because you're cunning! You threatened her! For what? To have me?!"

I turned my back to him.

"That's not true!" I shrieked. Even if I was shivering cold, I still shouted at him. Atlas' hand went to my cheek. My tears suddenly stopped as I felt the pain.

It hurts.

Atlas made me feel two kinds of pain at the same time. Physical pain and mental pain. But, the emotional pain that he could give was more painful for me. It's been ten years. It's been ten years of enduring everything.

"You didn't even respect my decision! I don't like you!" Atlas emphasized the last remark.

Again, he wrecked me. I thought my heart was already numb, but his words still broke me.

But, until when?

Cupping the cheek he slapped, I faced him. I wiped my tears in front of him. I want him to see what he did for the past ten years. I want him to see that I just wanted him to love me back.

"That's what you're good at, hurting me. It's been ten years, Atlas. I don't know if you're numb or just pretending to be." I shook my head and wiped my tears again before sighing heavily. "Did you respect me when you had relationships with other women? Did you respect me when you forced me to have sex with you in our wedding day? For what? For your revenge!"

I couldn't stop myself. I punched Atlas' chest again and again. I cried my heart out, too. I can't fathom why until now, he's still punishing me. That until now, he's still blaming me for what happened in the past.

I am more than broken. I am wrecked as hell. I already accepted my fate. I accepted all his punishments. I also blamed myself and apologized for everything. But for Atlas, it wasn't enough. I am not enough. I am still wicked.

"I love you, Atlas! I love you so much! I am wicked and a bitch for you, but I love you. I don't hold Jen's life, but I'm holding my heart! And I don't know how long I could still be a martyr for you." I stopped punching him. I looked up and saw how his gaze met mine. A flicker of emotion is evident in his eyes. The kind of emotion that could deceive me.

I shook my head. "I don't know how long I could still love you. So, please... while I still do, make me feel worthy," I pleaded.

I turned around to leave him, but he grabbed my arm. And before I could even utter a word, his lips claimed mine. As usual, he gave me a punishing kiss.