Volume I; Chapter 02

-PAGE: EROTIC+ TV

-TITLE: THE HYPERSEXUAL

-AUTHOR: LOLO

-VOLUME I:

-CHAPTER 02:

I had no idea what Dorene was talking about. Glancing at Grace, neither did she. Even Dorene looked confused.

Grace asked as she sat down;

➖Is this the big secret? Is that why we had to “hope to die”?

➖DORENE: You swore!

His voice was now raised;

➖You can't tell anyone.

Grace crossed her arms;

➖Don't worry, my lips are sealed. Anyway, there's nothing to say.

When Dorene looked at me, I nodded, but my mind didn't reflect the bored expression I gave her. Dorene's older sister had told her a secret. There must be something in there. Something more.

In 1956, there were no sex education classes in schools and no Internet. Films were censored. Television was new and even more censored. We learned about sex from older children like Dorene's sister. My mother never talked to me about sex. My father ? Unthinkable! My parents had to have sex once to get me and then were done with it. This must have been unpleasant for them. That's what I believed at the time. Who knows, maybe I was right. I didn't even understand why my mother was against Eden.

So, for me, there was no way to learn about sex other than word of mouth, which I got in small bites. And now there was another piece to the mysterious puzzle. An orgasm. Anything. Dorene's sister had told her about it and our friend had shared it with Grace and me as if we shared everything. I was curious, but it scared me. Anything to do with sex scared me, but for some reason I needed to know more. Like a constraint.

Both troubled and intrigued by new information about sex, I couldn't fall asleep. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Dorene had explained to us where babies came from after her mother talked to her when she got her first period, and Grace had described her little brother's thing, from the pointy head to the wrinkled sack. That was my total knowledge of sex before that day. But now Dorene had acquired more information from her older sister which she shared with us. But what did that mean?

What is an orgasm? And how could boys and girls have it when they were built differently there? As I tossed and turned, I was angry at Dorene for not asking her sister more? How was I supposed to learn about sex? I had no one to ask. No older sister. Certainly not my mother. Absolutely not my father. Oh my God! Not my father!

As I lay there, I tried to remember what Dorene had said. It was the best feeling in the world. That's what his sister said. She said a girl had an orgasm when someone touched her pussy. But how did his sister know that? She was not married. Someone must have told him. And maybe this person had lied.

I mean, I touched my pussy all the time. When I was bathing. After peeing. When I put on my panties and adjusted them. I've never had an orgasm. Or had I done it? Maybe I had it but I didn't know it. No! Dorene's sister said it was the best feeling in the world. I would have noticed that.

I kicked the blanket in frustration until it fell to my knees. It was a warm night and I didn't need a blanket anyway. My pajamas were more than sufficient. I lifted both feet and kicked, throwing the blanket all the way off.

Dorene's sister had said when the cat had been touched. Hmmmm

I slipped my fingertips under the waistband of my pajama bottoms and pressed against my stomach while slipping my hand into my panties. I felt the hairs. I was proud of it. First my period, then my breasts and finally my body hair. It made me feel like I was no longer a little girl. I was growing up. I patted the area, first where the hairs were, then further down on both sides of the vertical slit. Nothing! That's exactly how I always felt when I touched myself down there. What was Dorene's sister talking about? Doubt invaded my mind. Maybe it was me. Maybe I wasn't normal. Maybe I couldn't feel other girls' feelings.

I pressed harder on the spongy flesh on both sides of the slit. What I learned later in life was called lips. I pushed him. I pinched him. Nothing!

I removed my hand from my panties and rolled onto my side, folding my legs with my knees bent. A tear fell from the corner of my eye and disappeared into the pillow. More tears joined him before I fell asleep.

Dorene, Grace and I were sitting on Dorene's porch the next day. It was a warm, sunny day, so all three of us were wearing shorts. Soon it would be too cold for them and they would return to skirts. However, when it was exceptionally cold or the snow was deep, we wore pants. Except at school. The public school dress code consisted of skirts for girls and collared shirts for boys. And on Wednesdays, during meetings, boys had to wear a white shirt and a red tie. I could never understand why. But we followed the rules.

Dorene and Grace were sitting on a two-person metal glider that faced the street with the living room window to the rear. They were rocking back and forth. I was sitting on a metal chair off to the side, my legs tucked under me so that I was sitting partially on my hip. The chair faced the glider and the front door. We were talking about the next school year.

Grace told me;

➖Hey... You'll be sixteen. You can go out with someone.

She looked down and asked in a softer voice;

➖Or have your parents changed their minds about it like mine?

➖ME: They didn't say I couldn't, but I don't know if I want to. And who would date me anyway?

Grace stopped the glider from tipping over by planting her feet flat on the ground and said;

➖Oh my God, why wouldn't you want to date someone! That's the most interesting thing.

➖ME: Why?

➖GRACE: I don’t know. It's just.

➖ME: But boys are boring

The screen door opened as I said this and Dorene's older sister appeared. She laughed and said;

➖So you are making a mistake

The three of us looked at her without saying anything. I finally asked him;

➖What am I doing wrong?

➖Oh whatever. Forget I said anything.

I said with more anger than I intended;

➖Like this orgasm bullshit!

I was still frustrated from the day before not knowing something that had to do with sex.

The older girl's eyes turned to Dorene who looked down. She said to Dorene in an accusatory tone;

➖So you tell our secrets to your friends

Without looking up, Dorene said;

➖You didn't say it was a secret.

The older girl looked at me;

➖No, I guess not. So you think this is bullshit, right? You have a lot to learn. Maybe when you grow up, you...

I said louder than I intended;

➖I am an adult! I will be sixteen in a few days.

I almost screamed that I had pubic hair down there, but I caught myself in time. Thank God for that. I would have run home crying and hid in my house until school started.

Dorene's sister smiled at me;

➖Okay, you've grown up. But you still don't know what an orgasm is, do you?

Without waiting for a response, Dorene's sister ran down the stairs and rushed to wherever she was going. Not that I had an answer. I was glad she was gone.

Dorene declared;

➖She doesn't lie about things like that

My eyes followed his sister. I turned to Dorene;

➖Did she tell you more?

➖DORENE: I didn't ask.

➖ME: Why not?

I was getting more and more frustrated by the minute.

There was so much I didn't know about sex. Once again, I felt like a little girl. Dorene shrugged and started talking about dating boys again. She had turned sixteen at the beginning of the summer but hadn't dated anyone yet. She hoped that at the start of school, a boy would ask her out. At that time, the girl was still waiting for the boy. I didn't even know how unfair it was. However, this took a lot of pressure off the girl. No threat of rejection. Even if I had, I would never have had the courage to ask a boy out.

Dating should have been something I wanted, like Grace and Dorene, but it scared me. What was I supposed to do on a date? Being alone with a boy scared me. What if I had nothing to say to him? What if I didn't love him? Oh my God, what if he doesn't love me? And the whole sex thing terrified me. I knew I wouldn't go through with it until I was married. I didn't even use a tampon. The cushion wasn't comfortable, but at least it kept my virginity intact. But sex wasn't just about making babies. Like orgasm, whatever it was.

That night I lay in bed thinking about boys and dating and sex. These three things seemed to go hand in hand. Without even trying to fall asleep, I turned on my night lamp as I looked at my poster of Eden hanging on the wall at the foot of the bed. The longer I was with Eden, the less old he seemed to me. He was cute and sexy. By sexy, I mean it gave me these butterflies in my stomach that I didn't understand.

My eyes fell below Eden's waist. This time I wasn't thinking about his pelvic tremors or the thumps and grinds he'd made on TV. I was trying to get my eyes through his pants like Superman's x-ray vision to see his thing. Grace had described her little brother's so I knew what it looked like. Well, the basics. Grace said her brother's was tiny, no bigger than the tip of his thumb, and Grace didn't have big hands. I sat up and leaned forward, straining into the dimly lit room to see if his form could be seen in his pants.

Why was I suddenly fascinated by a cock? Until then, it had disgusted me. Something where a boy was peeing. Yuck! And something to fear. I was jealous that Grace saw one, but only because she now knew I didn't. There was so much I didn't know. And no place to learn it. And if boys had an orgasm with their dicks, how could girls have an orgasm without a dick? Part of me was sorry that Dorene's sister had told her about it. But part of me wanted, not needed, to know more.

I put my hand between my legs and patted my crotch through the layers of my pajamas and panties. Nothing! I spread my legs further and touched myself everywhere, even cupping my groin and squeezing it like I did when I was little when I really needed to pee. Nothing! There was something wrong with me. Or maybe Dorene's sister was lying. I turned off the light and went to sleep angry and frustrated.

My birthday, September 1, 1956, fell on a Saturday, so that's when I planned my party. On my real birthday. Of course, Dorene and Grace were there, but I was able to invite other children from the neighborhood, boys and girls. I was almost hesitant about having boys there, but if I had to date someone, I couldn't avoid them forever. And I grew up with some of them as friends. When we played tag or hide and seek, we were neither boys nor girls. Until recently, we were just kids.

At 84 degrees, it was unusually hot, so everyone wore shorts. The boys wore polo shirts and the girls wore tank tops. My garden was long and narrow. The patio was cement while the rest was grass with flower bushes lining both sides. At the bottom was a swing that hadn't been used in a while. Well, it was now. Some boys tried to swing so high that they fell over. None had accomplished this feat which, in hindsight, was a blessing. A serious injury to a stupid boy would have ended my party

My house had two floors. The bedrooms and full bathroom were on the second floor and the rest of the house was on the first floor. But the first floor was not at street level. We had a cement staircase in the front that went up to the front door and porch. Outside the kitchen at the back of the house was a small metal porch with metal steps that led us out to the patio. The reason the first floor of my house was not at street level was because below the house was a separate living space. Even though it was only one building, there was no way to access the apartment below from inside my house, so it wasn't like a basement . It was a separate living space that my parents rented. The rear door of the apartment led tenants onto the rear terrace. Our tenants, Malek and Perla Taren, were at my party. They were in their early 20s and had a one-year-old daughter with another on the way. I thought it was cool to call them Malek and Perla instead of Mr. and Mrs. Taren. It always made me feel grown up.

The boys were playing a sort of ball-stealing game on the grass that devolved into somersaults and wrestling while the girls and the few adults chatted on the concrete patio where the tables, chairs, and food were located. I noticed my mother waving at me. She was sitting with the Taren. Mrs. Taren fanned herself.

As I approached, Mrs. Taren said to me;

➖Never get pregnant in summer

TO BE CONTINUED...