1

It's 7 a.m. My favorite time of day.

The fresh wind blows deliciously on my face carrying a few rebellious locks of my golden hair, the song of the birds carries me away and my faithful cigarette does not leave my fingers. All this, accompanied by my good cup of mint tea.

I love sitting on the balcony, contemplating the still deserted alley and losing myself through the luminous and fascinating tones of the sunrise. The calm calms me and terrifies me at the same time and I like this contradictory and particular feeling.

.............

I glance briefly at my watch...7:30. I breathe loudly, if only I could prolong this time of day..

I put out my second cigarette and rush into my room. I put on my sneakers, carelessly tie up my long blond hair and take my school bag from the bed. I'm ready!

I go down the stairs two by two and find my mother posted in the living room looking at me in despair, shaking her head from left to right, her arms crossed against her chest.

"What did I do to have a tomboy as a daughter.." she mutters to herself.

My tender mother often complains about my appearance, my baggy t-shirts and shapeless pants make her sick. I can't help it if I like to dress like that.

A thirty-three-year-old woman, my mother is very elegant, pencil skirt, pumps, neat makeup... In short, she is so beautiful that I'm almost jealous.

"I'm going mom!"

I kiss her cheek loudly and snatch a loud laugh from her.

"See you soon my darling"

I leave our warm home and set off for the university, ready for a twenty-minute walk.

........

I arrive on time as always because I hate being late and attracting other people's attention. I rush to join my small room, it's my first year of medicine and today is my third day of classes. I admit that I'm still just as stressed, I don't know anyone yet and prefer to stay in my corner.

The room fills up little by little and the teacher comes in after about fifteen minutes late.

I'm concentrating on our first biology class... or rather trying as best I can. The old teacher's lesson doesn't motivate me, the greyish walls around me make me nauseous and the little window suffocates me. All that to say that I don't appreciate this college any more than that.

I never wanted to be there, but I had to since medicine has always been my dream. My mother alone can't afford to pay me the best college in town and my little job as a waitress doesn't really help me.

But I will never complain, for her, I will bear it all. After the death of my father three years ago now, she managed to get up, to get us up. Thanks to her, we managed to overcome this painful ordeal. A strong and admirable woman, that's what she is!

...............

Classes finally over, I rush out the bag on my back, I'm hungry. I get home faster than the driveway, my body sweats, at noon the sun burns my poor diaphanous skin.

I hurry to take a shower, get dressed in a hurry and heat up some leftover lasagna from the night before.

I sit in front of the TV and follow a documentary on animals. I can be very boring sometimes, that's probably why I have very few friends. Anyway, loneliness does not bother me more than that, quite the contrary since dad left us, I have withdrawn into myself. I changed. Completely.

I jump when the front door slams open. my mother makes her appearance, I survey her with a surprised look, not expecting to see her back anytime soon.

"Mom, what are you doing at this hour?" I questioned curiously.

She closes the door behind her without looking at me, I feel nervous.

"Um.. I have an important dinner with colleagues tonight, I have to get ready" she replies.

I don't know why but I have the feeling that she doesn't tell me everything.

"If you say so.." I simply replied, shrugging my shoulders indifferently.

I finally leave the living room and go up to my room. I take a book from my shelf and jump on my bed.

Absorbed in my reading, I don't feel the time slipping away, I mark the page where I left off and head for the balcony with a dark landscape. The sun went down too early for my taste, I find this darkness depressing and the nocturnal silence terrifying.

I walk into my room and close the window behind me. I hear the sound of heels coming from the hallway, I rush out of my room and remain speechless when I cross the slender silhouette of mom.

"Wow.. You look beautiful!" I exclaimed, whistling too loudly.

"Sarah!" she reprimands me falsely with a smile on her face.

She turns on herself to allow me to admire her elegant black dress but which makes her super sexy with her slit along her leg.

"There is no denying it, you are to die for! I compliment her proudly. But I wonder how you manage to walk with those heels that look more like stilts"

Her radiant smile gradually gives way to a significant sadness, she approaches me and places her soft warm hands on my shoulders.

"You are also a woman Sarah, you are able to make this effort. Look at you, you are so beautiful, if you took care a little more...."

"Mom, we already talked about this, this discussion will lead nowhere" I cut her off, exasperated that she returns to this subject.

A distraught sigh escapes her following my retort, but she doesn't insist, fully understanding my behavior.

"Don't wait for me, I may be late sweetie"

"Okay, I hope your evening is going well"

She kisses my forehead and I take advantage of our proximity to deeply inhale her pleasant and comforting scent.

She then turns to walk down the stairs elegantly, after a wave of her hand, she walks away with a smile on her face.

I finally find myself alone and yawning my jaw, I think I'd better go to bed..

I put on my pajamas, brush my teeth and lock myself in my room.

I remove the rubber band that traps my hair all day long and sit on my bed. Very quickly, for my greatest happiness, I joined the arms of Morpheus...