Chapter 7: Not a Boyfriend

I yanked my wrist out of his when we reached it. “Stop!” I yelled at him. He did. He looked both sad and mad at the same time.

“What’s going on? You look like you’re not even in this year anymore,” I said. He sighed and ran his hand down his face. “She triggered something, didn’t she? Something in your past that was painful.” I said.

“Stop talking,” he snapped. I looked at his face. They were really watery. It looked like he was about to cry. I sighed and shut my mouth.

“Hayden,” I said softly. I touched his face gently. He looked away from me for a second before he stared right into my eyes. He looked… pained. He fought with whether to tell me or not before he let out a deep breath.

“High school, two years ago, I had a girlfriend named Claire. I wasn’t like I am now. I was… the perfect boyfriend, or so I tried to be. Then one day, we went on a date, and coming out of the restaurant, there was this… guy. He knocked me out, and when I woke up… she was dead. The police told me that the guy mugged us and raped her before he killed her,” he explained. I ran my thumb over his cheek. “All I had to do was protect her, and I couldn’t even do that. I swore never to put myself in that position ever again,” he said quietly.

“It sounds like it was a freak accident, and I know that you probably heard this a lot, but it wasn’t your fault,” I said softly. I wiped a stray tear from his cheek. I reached up and kissed his chin before I gave his hand a little squeeze. He sniffled before he looked away from me.

“Like I said: I don’t do relationships,” he said. We got in the truck and drove to the apartments. After about an hour of mindless TV watching, I turned to Hayden.

“I had a little brother,” I started. He muted the TV and turned to me. “His name was Thomas and he was a lot like you,” I chuckled and looked up as I remembered.

“Had?” Hayden picked out. I sighed as my smile fell.

“He was ten and I was 14. We were playing outside with a ball when it rolled into the street. He went after it and before I knew what was happening, he was dead… A car whipped around the corner and the driver didn’t see him. I still blame myself. I shouldn’t have let him go after that ball,” I said, looking off into space. I felt Hayden’s thumb rub my cheek. I looked at him before I realized that I was crying.

“I’m sorry, Jo,” he said softly. I shrugged and pushed my hair back off of my face. He leaned forward slowly before he kissed me gently. I tried to hold it back but I couldn’t. I started sobbing. I missed Thomas; no matter how far back I pushed his memory in my head. Hayden pulled me onto his lap. I couldn’t help it. I cried like a baby until I passed out.