Sins and Secrets

NILA

"Welcome home, darling." I smiled as my husband Silas walked into our living room. I greeted him with a kiss.

"How is my angel doing?" He asked after breaking the kiss.

"She is fine but she missed you a lot."

"I missed you all day, Nila." He said, dropping his bag on the sofa.

"You did?" I asked, playfully wagging my eyebrows at him.

"Should I show you how much?" He replied, scooping me off the ground with a grin.

I squealed in excitement as I wrapped my hands around his neck, smiling as he headed to our bedroom. "I believe you."

"I'm sorry I was so late tonight. I had a lot to do." He said as he sat on the bed, pulling me to his body.

"I know you did. I admire how hard you work and how ambitious you are, but I would appreciate it if you didn't work yourself to death."

"How can I die when I have to stay alive to keep on loving you?" He said with a wink.

I felt my heart going crazy, wondering how he always came up with the lines. I pulled him closer and kissed him. He let out a groan as he dipped his hand into my hair and deepened the kiss. I began to pop open the buttons on the shirt he wore, and he did the same, sliding the gown I wore down my body.

"I love you, Silas," I breathed.

I never would have believed this could be my life a few years ago. I thought my world had ended when my parents died, but now, here I was in a completely different world, doing the work I loved and married to the man who made me happier than I ever imagined.

I couldn’t have wished for a better life.

"Let's make a baby," I said, smiling as I stared intensely at him.

He looked stunned. "You want a baby?"

I nodded, sure of what I wanted. "I want to have your child growing inside of me."

"Oh! Nila." He said, slamming his lips on mine and pushing me down on the bed.

*****

"What is wrong?" Silas asked one night as we sat together in the living room.

He was working on his laptop while I rested my head on his shoulder and pretended to watch TV while my thoughts strayed into dark territory.

I didn't know he had noticed the look on my face as I had tried to keep my emotions to myself and not distract him. His excessive love for work was a blessing at times.

"Uh?"

He frowned, placing the laptop on the table. "You have this odd look on your face like you are worried about something."

"I'm not pregnant yet." I blurted out with a sigh.

He smiled, pulling me into himself. "Don't worry too much, Nila. It hasn't been that long since we started trying for a baby."

"What do you mean, it's been three months, Silas," I said, as if he needed a reminder. We both knew when I ovulated and marked the calendar together.

He placed a kiss on my forehead. "Like I said, it hasn't been that long."

"What if something is wrong with me?" I asked, unable to block out that nagging voice in my head.

He chuckled. "We both know that's not true, baby. The doctor said we're both perfectly fine and shouldn't have any issues having a baby. Remember, that was the most expensive and highly sought-after doctor in New York who ran all those tests on us. I believe him."

"Why is the baby not coming along then?" I sighed, frustrated with myself and hating how worried I was.

I knew he was right. I was there. I had seen the test results. I didn't have to focus on the irrational fear in my head that something was wrong with me. I knew I was anxious and should get over it.

"It will when the time is right, babe. You will only get yourself stressed if you keep worrying."

I nodded and exhaled. He was right. I shouldn't get stressed. I had stopped working too much at work, so my body wouldn't be too stressed to accommodate a baby. I changed my diet, but it wouldn't have made any difference if I didn't stop worrying about why I wasn't pregnant.

"I shouldn't get myself stressed." I agreed.

"You shouldn't," he repeated.

"Thank you." I breathed. "I don't know how I could ever survive without you." I teased him.

"You shouldn't have to. I'm your husband." He replied, giving me a brief full kiss on the lips.

His phone rang, jinxing the moment. He sighed, his expression turning sour as he checked the caller ID.

"My dad," he mouthed as he placed the phone to his ear.

I sighed, hating how those two words could ruin my mood instantly. It wasn't unknown to me that his family didn't like me. They didn't approve of our relationship and wouldn't stop reminding Silas of the wrong choice he was making any time they wanted, sometimes even in my presence.

His dad had even reminded him a day before our wedding that he could still call it off and marry a better choice, the daughter of his friend. I had listened with a heavy heart to how Silas had warned his dad about talking down on me. I had pretended like I hadn't heard that conversation even though it had hurt me.

I felt like I was bringing a gap between Silas and his family and couldn't help feeling bad about it even though I knew the situation wasn't any of my fault. His mum didn't like me either, but she didn't show her distaste as aggressively as his dad did.

I felt like crying out in frustration every time I thought of them. It had been over two years since I married into the family. Couldn't they accept me already? They were the only black lining in my happy world.

William was retired, and I doubted that he was calling to talk about work. I wasn't about to stay here and listen to him again.

I stood up, about to leave, when I felt Silas' hand on mine. He held me and motioned to me with his eyes for me to sit down. I sighed and sat down beside him, curling up against him as he traced circles along my bare thigh.

"Hey, Dad." He spoke into the phone.

I couldn't hear what his father was saying over the phone, but I could hear Silas' one-sided conversation and was relieved when the call eventually ended and there had been no mention of me. I didn't even feel hurt that my father-in-law didn't ask of me, I was only relieved he hadn't reminded my husband of a million reasons he shouldn't be with me.

Silas dropped the phone and smiled, pulling me into his lap. "Now, where were we?"

"I don't understand what you are thinking of," I smirked, feeling his bulge rise as I squatted over him.

"Weren't we just talking about making a baby?"

"I thought you said we shouldn't stress ourselves." I teased, moving over his legs.

He groaned. "I said you shouldn't worry too much, not that we should stop trying."

"Don't you have a lot of work to do?" I said, looking at the desk and pointing at his laptop.

He chuckled. "I'm the CEO. No one would question me if I don't do anything."

"It must be nice to be the boss," I chuckled.

"Not as nice as I feel inside you every time." He said, kissing me as he laid me down on the sofa.

I gasped as he got us both naked and made love to me so gently I thought my heart was going to burst with how much it swelled with love. If he was trying to make me forget about his father's call, he didn't have to try too hard. I trusted him and was convinced of his love as much as I was sure of my name.

I couldn't help wishing, as I screamed later in pleasure, that we had a baby this time.