VI

I shrugged it off and turned to the next pages. I now saw Gio's generation. Mariana had been right; Gio was the boss. In a way, he was at the top of the food chain.

I identified his associates who helped run the organization. Taddeo Locatelli served as his consigliere. I had seen him at our wedding; he was Gio's best man. Like Gio, he seemed emotionally detached. His second in command was Valerio Locatelli, and there were two more underbosses, Raffaele and Arcel Locatelli.

"I'm confused," I whispered to myself.

I then moved on to other members referred to as caporegimes. They were high-ranking members of the crime family in charge of lower-ranking members. I spotted Dario's name as one of Gio's caporegimes, and right beneath his name was Mariana's. I no longer wondered why they had entrusted me to them.

Unable to contain my thoughts, I stood up and left a marker where I had stopped reading. There were also background details on other families who seemed to be friends of the Locatelli family, and I needed to know and understand those as well.

I still couldn't believe that Gio came from a family like this. Often, I only saw such things in movies, and I must say, they are not good people.

I was on my way to the kitchen to get a drink when I remembered what my father used to do to me whenever I left the room where he confined me. Even fetching water would anger him.

I instinctively gripped the door handle and closed my eyes, trying to bury the ugly memories of abuse.

"Ma'am?"

I flinched and stepped back, almost about to plead not to be hurt, thinking the person who touched me was my father.

The household help who called out to me looked surprised. She probably didn't expect my reaction.

I composed myself. I needed to remind myself that I wasn't at our home, and my father wasn't here. He couldn't harm me while I was here.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I forced a smile, concealing the fear that had surged with the thoughts and memories. "I'm okay. I'm sorry, I just get startled easily." I glanced at the fridge and pointed. "I was just going to get some water. Is it okay?"

She seemed momentarily stunned by my words before nodding slowly.

"Yes, Ma'am. You own this house, you don't need to ask for permission. You could have just called and asked us to bring it to the study room so you wouldn't be inconvenienced." She smiled at me and fetched a glass of water.

I sat on the high chair by the island counter. The household help placed the glass of water in front of me.

"Sir Gio gave instructions before he left earlier, that if you need or want anything, we should attend to it. So please don't hesitate to approach us, Ma'am. You're the mistress of this house. I'm sorry if I startled you earlier."

I held the glass. I could feel the chill of the water.

I'm the mistress? Does that mean no one will tell me I'm not allowed to eat because I've messed up in life? That I can't leave my room because I never do anything right when I step out? No one will verbally and physically abuse me here, right?

I smiled to myself. The people in this house were different from those in our old home. Gio was different from my father. I needed to remember that.

"Thank you," I said, raising my gaze to her. "What's your name?"

"My name is Alicia, Ma'am."

I smiled again at her, and she returned it. She asked if I needed anything else, but I shook my head.

As night fell, I felt a bit of excitement. Dinner was ready, and I was seated near the head of the table.

I was excited because I rarely ate with someone before. I never dined with Papa at the dining table because when he wasn't around, I had to eat alone. When they were present, I was usually confined to my room. I considered myself fortunate if I could eat with Sienna and Aunt Elsie.

I shook my head. I didn't want to dwell on those thoughts. I shouldn't bring that mindset here. I might not be entirely free since I was still tied to Gio, but I was free from my father. In this house, he couldn't harm me.

"Where's Gio?" I asked Dario, who was sitting beside me.

"He's still in the office, Ma'am."

My joy soared at hearing this. Gio was still in the office? Wasn't he coming home yet?

"What time is Gio coming home? I'll wait for him before eating."

I wanted to experience eating together with my husband, hoping that it might help us have a better relationship if we made it a habit.

"I'll call Sir to check, Ma'am."

I smiled at Dario, even though he didn't respond in kind. I thought it would be a good idea to be friendly with the people here, especially since I would be interacting with them frequently.

I waited for Dario to return. Even though I was afraid of Gio, he hadn't done anything to make me more fearful of him.

Dario came back, and I eagerly awaited his news.

"Sir Gio won't be able to come home yet, Ma'am. You should go ahead and eat."

I felt a sudden emptiness in my stomach. My appetite vanished.

"Will he be home late? I can wait—"

"He asked that you start eating first, Ma'am."

I slumped in my chair. Did I have to eat alone even here?

I remained silent and sat there, observing the food. I had lost my appetite.

After a few hours, I got up. Some looked surprised, while Mariana and Dario watched me closely, observing my actions.

"Ma'am—"

"I'm going to rest. I'm not hungry."

I didn't wait for them to speak further. I left immediately and went to the second floor to enter our bedroom.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the door. Did I still feel alone even here? Maybe I was wrong in thinking that this house was different from Papa's. Maybe wherever I went, I would always feel alone.

I prepared for sleep, cleaning myself up and changing my clothes. I lay down in bed and pulled the duvet over me. I closed my eyes, even though I had no plans to sleep.