Part Two

Ian was now eighteen and he never thought he would ever go through something what most people would call a “crush”.

Having become distant and detached from everyone for so long affected you in ways that altered your very being. Ian had been so used to avoiding contact with people that he had forgotten how it felt like to look at someone…

And not want to look away.

Ian tried to forget about her. Olivia Kim, the new girl in his Math class. But he couldn’t seem to control his thoughts from straying towards her. He didn’t mean to but he found himself stealing glances at her more often than he should; subtly staring when she wasn’t looking and averting his gaze instantly the moment she looks even remotely his way. It was a good thing he was already an expert at blending into the background and avoiding eye contact.

He wouldn’t say it was a crush, exactly… more like a fascination. He didn’t like her that way—though she’s not at all bad-looking, Ian thought, with her warm brown eyes and long, dark hair (completely not his ideal type at all)—but he was more curious as to why there were no numbers floating over her head.

At first, he thought it may have been delayed and that it would eventually show up in a day or two. That happened once before with a little girl he accidentally locked eyes with at a convenience store. Ian could remember being thrilled when there were no numbers on her little head, thinking his curse might have somehow miraculously disappeared. But a couple of days later, he caught sight of the same girl on his way home from school. She was just about to ride a car and when Ian locked eyes with her, he deflated. He could still see those awful numbers after all. If it was any consolation, though, the little girl still had long years to live.

But it had been a week and Olivia’s numbers still haven’t come up. Ian liked to believe he couldn’t see them at all now but that would be a lie because he could still sense it coming off from everyone like smoke on a busy highway.

This was the first time that he had met—well more like seen, considering they haven’t spoken to each other—someone without them, which was weird considering being human means… we all die.

Unless she isn’t human, a thought emerged, which he snorted at as quickly as it came up because that was too crazy to be true. But Ian couldn’t help wondering about it. When everyone’s numbers seemed to be working just fine, here was Olivia just sitting on her chair—numberless.

The only other person whose numbers Ian couldn’t see was his. He figured it was better that way and opted not to find out since knowing everyone else’s time of death was enough of a burden. He wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of knowing the exact time he was going to die either.

“Ian, you should help out Olivia.”

Ian snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of his name, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. His eyes immediately landed on the numbers hovering over Mrs. Chan’s head and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest when he saw that the woman only had five years left to live.

“Huh?” He asked stupidly, glancing to his right to see that most of his classmates had already gone, the chairs left askew and vacant around him. He couldn’t recall when the dismissal bell had sounded, too distracted by his thoughts.

“I need you to help Olivia in Math.” She repeated. “I thought I’d turn to you since you’re top of my class.” She smiled but before Ian could protest, the woman held up her hand. “Not without incentives, of course. It’s extra credit work that’ll surely look good on your college recommendation letters.”

And there it was. Ian hated it when his teachers pulled the “college” card, like he couldn’t see right through their intentions. They all wanted the same thing: for him to socialize more, to join a club, to make friends... and other things he couldn’t do for a very specific reason.

“I’m sorry. But I... I can't—”

“It’s only for a semester, Ian.” Mrs. Chan promised. “I'm sure you can offer a bit of your time to help a classmate out.”

It’s not that, he huffed internally, wanting to tear his hair out in frustration because he couldn’t explain the true reason behind his reluctance to accept. It’s not that I don't want to help..., he thought. It’s just too risky.

“Please, Mrs. Chan. Thank you, but I don’t want to push myself onto him seeing that he’s not interested in tutoring.”

Ian was surprised at the voice that spoke up, unaware of another presence in the room. He glanced over his shoulder at the direction of the voice and saw the last (and maybe first, but he won’t ever admit it) person he wanted to see. Olivia was standing from her seat, slinging her bag on her shoulders, all the while looking straight at Mrs. Chan. It didn’t occur to him that she was standing behind him all this time while the teacher pleaded for him to help her out in Math.

Ian gave her a one-over, surveying her yellow cardigan over her uniform and long hair with a single braid on the left side of her head. He thought he looked exceptionally pretty today...

Wait, what?

Someone cleared their throat and Ian blinked, surprised to catch Olivia staring at him.

“Sorry, what?” Ian stammered, apologize for staring so blatantly but ended up looking away and clearing his throat instead, feeling his ears warm up from embarrassment. He could feel her eyes on him like an open flame, before it was suddenly gone when she said,

“Maybe we can ask others to help me out? Maybe he’s not as smart as you think he is.”

Ian’s head snapped towards her so fast he thought he would’ve gotten whiplash. Excuse me, he thought. Unable to believe the taunt that left her mouth.

“I mean, if he was really the best…he wouldn’t be so scared to help someone out considering it’s his subject of expertise.” Ian scoffed unknowingly at that and was instantly embarrassed when Mrs. Chan gave him a look.

Is she actually taunting me? He thought incredulously as he clenched his right hand.

“Isn’t that right... Ian?”

Ian's breath hitched at the sound of his name coming out of her mouth, his teeth grinding in annoyance. He looked at her then and their eyes met in a challenging gaze.

Wow she totally is, Ian thought as neither of them budged. It was almost pathetic, their little staring game, as if that gesture would make him change his mind…

Well, it did.

Ian was actually taking the bait. He was the smartest guy in class and there's no way he was going to let her get away with what she just said. He wasn't just going to let her trample all over his pride.

"Just for a semester, right?" He asked and Mrs. Chan's face lit up like a Christmas tree. He turned towards Olivia who had a mildly surprised look on her face, too, probably not expecting him to agree and take her bait.

"Yes, just for the term Ian." And just like that he agreed with a curt nod. He glanced at Olivia shortly, and then smirked when he saw the surprise still present on her face. His eyes glanced up slightly, seeing her numbers still absent no matter how hard he willed them to show.

Very odd, he thought before walking away and leaving the room; secretly wishing it stays that way and that her numbers don't ever show up. At least till the semester ends.