Chapter 6: Oliver Bennett vs. Adrian Graham: Unquenchable lust…acceptance!

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“How have you been able to survive all these years without…” Oliver knew it was the wrong thing to be dwelling on at that particular moment but he just couldn’t get past that.

Adrian sighed. He knew what Oliver was asking. “I have these.” He raised his hands. “Besides I work too hard I don’t even get the time to think about that. Hell, I sometimes forget my cock can do other things besides peeing.” Adrian chuckled. “She used to offer to help.” Adrian gave a short humourless laugh. “Said she still had her mouth and hand. But I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t allow her to bring me pleasure when she couldn’t get any. She encouraged me to take a mistress. I said I couldn’t do it. She suggested prostitutes. I told her no. Then she broke down and begged for a divorce, saying she was holding me back. I’ve never loved her more than I did in that particular moment. She has a beautiful soul. No one understands me better than her. Seeing her waste away is killing me, Oliver. I just can’t think straight. What will the kids and I do if she leaves us? She’s been a constant in our lives since we were all toddlers. I just don’t know what to do.” Adrian’s breath caught on the last sentence.

Before Oliver knew what he was doing, he’d pulled Adrian’s trembling body into a tight embrace, holding him as silent tears coursed down his cheeks. His heart ached for Adrian. No one should go through that. He was younger and smaller compared to Adrian but he suddenly had a strong urge to protect him. He wanted to protect him against the world…keep him safe from the harshness of the world.

After what felt like hours, Adrian moved out of Oliver’s embrace, looking embarrassed. He noticed how soaked Oliver’s shirt was with his tears and groaned. “Sorry for wetting your shirt.” He croaked.

“Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

“Much better. Thanks.” Adrian stood up. “A moment please.” He said as he headed towards the bathroom.

When he came back to his seat, they’d sat in silence for a moment, both lost in thought. Oliver couldn’t help but feel shitty for allowing himself to be the one who made Adrian fall off the wagon. He would have felt better if he’d said his wife was a monster rather than the nice person she obviously was. After a while, he moved to the edge of his seat and turned his head to look at Adrian.

“Why me, Adrian? I mean you’re not gay. And I can bet my last cent you don’t go around fantasizing about guys. So why me?”

Adrian stared back at Oliver for a moment. He really didn’t know how to answer that question. Oliver was right…he’d never been curious about any guy. Neither had he planned on sleeping with Oliver. He liked him, liked their talks, liked how he felt free around him. Adrian always kept to himself. He wasn’t a happy person. No one in his shoes would be happy anyway. But he didn’t even have time to talk to the few friends that he had. He couldn’t stand the pity in their eyes so he kept to himself. The little fun he had was with his kids. And there was so much he could talk about with a kid.

So when he started hanging out with Oliver who didn’t know anything about his problems, it had been nice and refreshing. Oliver had managed to slide right past his defenses and unknowingly, made him come out of his shell. Maybe it was his sweet and adorable nature, but he just felt so free around Oliver. As for the sex, it had just happened. And it had been amazing. He’d regretted it after but he knew he’d do it again if given the chance.

“I really don’t know Oliver.” Adrian finally said quietly. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“That’s sweet but…”

“It’s not sweet.” Adrian snapped. “It’s a fucking problem. I can’t sleep. If I do, I wake thinking about you. I’m talking to my kids, I’m thinking about you. I’m taking care of my wife, I’m fucking thinking about you.” He gave a humourless laugh. “For the past weeks that we’ve been hanging out, I’ve come to like you very much. Too much. And it scares me.” Adrian watched as Oliver nodded slowly.

“I like you too,” Oliver said quietly. “I like everything about you. I like the way you look, the way you think, the way you talk…hell I don’t even care what you’re saying.” He groaned. “I just like listening to you. If it makes you feel any better, I’m thinking about you all the time too.”

“It doesn’t make me feel any better, no.” Adrian groaned. “Fuck. What we did felt perfect and right, and at the same time terribly wrong. It can’t happen again, Oliver.” He whispered the last sentence. “I would appreciate it if we could remain friends.”

Oliver nodded slowly and then gave a deep sigh. “I have to go Adrian.” He said quietly and almost smiled when Adrian rubbed the back of his neck in a sign of frustration. He was beginning to associate that gesture with Adrian. He thought it was adorable.

“God… Please don’t go.” Adrian’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Stay. For a while at least. Please.” He looked miserable.

“Listen Adrian.” Oliver began. “I’m going to be very honest with you. I’m very attracted to you. From the very first day, I saw you, I had the hots for you. I wanted to know what it felt like to be underneath you. I’m sorry, I know I’m a terrible person but…that’s just how I felt. I don’t know about you, but what happened here the other evening was absolutely amazing. There’s no way I’m going to forget that or pretend it didn’t happen or stop myself from wanting more. I thought I’d feel different about you after the way you reacted after blowing my mind but…I want you even more. And I don’t think it’s fair to Donna, me or even you. If I keep hanging around you, spending time with you, I can’t promise to keep my hands to myself. I’m human. And you’re the sexiest man I’ve even met. You can choose to grow a gut or stop showering or something but I don’t think that will even work. I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting you.”

“What are you saying?” Adrian whispered.

“I guess what I’m saying is that I can’t be your friend, Adrian. It’s not a good idea for the two of us to be around each other because I can’t promise what happened the other night is not going to happen again. We just can’t be together, Adrian. You see…I love chocolates. But it’s bad for me. So I try to stay away from it. I don’t like seeing it at all…it’s too tempting to resist. Sorry but…”

Adrian swallowed hard. He’d later told Oliver that under any other circumstances, his analogy of the chocolate would have been hilarious but at that very moment, he didn’t find it funny at all. He felt wretched, distressed…totally desperate. The thought of not being able to talk to Oliver, not laughing with him, not eating with him…the mere thought of not being around Oliver was panicking.

“If I say I’m willing to be with you in that way, will it change your mind?” Adrian asked quietly, shocking Oliver.

Oliver froze. He hadn’t been expecting that question. He stared at Adrian, his heart pounding so hard within his chest. Christ, what was the man doing to him? Surely he couldn’t be a homewrecker…do that to that poor woman. Besides, he’d promised himself never to get involved with a straight man. Such relationships brought nothing but heartbreak. Why the fuck was he even hesitating in giving his answer? Of course, there was no way he could ever agree to be with Adrian under the current circumstances. Oliver took a deep breath.

“Yes.” He whispered, saying a quick prayer of forgiveness in his mind. He was definitely going to burn in hell for this. “It will.”

Adrian stood up and held out a hand to Oliver, who took the hand and got to his feet. Then Adrian took Oliver into the bedroom and made mad sweet love to him.

And they’d been fucking ever since.