Chapter 8

With tears in my eyes, I grab my bag and run out of the restaurant. Bree calls after me not after hearing Summer mutters "Shit."

I've got two classes left and it will be a total waste of time if I skip my two classes and go home to grief. I rush to the baseball field and sit down to watch the baseball players rehearse. I wipe my tears but more keeps pouring down. Why am I so vulnerable? With every single attitude Todd comes up with, I still cared about him.

And this isn't the first time he's told me it's over. First month into our relationship, we fought and he told me it was over. A day later, he called me to apologise and told me he was drunk and he didn't mean it. Then two weeks later, we fought again and he said 'we're done.' and a few hours later, he apologized and gave me another reason. This always goes on and I'm getting tired of his attitude.

But why can't I let him go? It's like he knows my soft spot and he knows when to press it. And I always forgive him and I assume he didn't just humiliate me in the presence of other students in a restaurant. I pull out my earbuds and plug it in my ear, clicking on the first song on my playlist.

I weep silently and stare at space. The baseball players make some random noise and I ignore them. I notice one staring at me and whistling. Assholes. They are all the same. Make you like them, and then they break you gradually like you're a stick.

I feel someone slip next to me on the seat. I turn to look at the person at once.

" Hey." She smiles at me.

" Hi, Chloe." I plug out my earbuds and smile at her.

" You're okay?"

I nod and wipe away every evidence of tears.

" You don't look okay." She says as a matter of fact.

I chuckle and look away from her to stare at these baseball players.

" You can tell me anything if you want. I don't really bite." She says and push up her glasses.

" It's awkward."

" Does it concern a boy? I don't know —lately a lot of people are going through relationship trauma."

I chuckle quietly and look at her. Aside her nerdy attitude, Chloe is beautiful. Her eyes are a bright Hazel color with her neatly brushed blonde hair.

" Have you ever been in love?" I find myself asking her.

She blushes and tucks her loose strands behind her ear.

" Yeah, once. And that's like tenth grade. That's a long time."

" What happened?" I ask her.

" Well… I uh… it was complicated. I was this nerdy kid who was in love with the bad ass kid. Long story short, it ended in tears. He wanted more. Like a bougie ass bitch."

I laugh at her curse word. That doesn't really sound normal, considering the fact that this is Chloe.

" That's pretty funny. I mean you're pretty. In your own way."

She blushes again. I can see her cheeks heating up.

" Thank you Serena."

" So since tenth grade, you haven't dated or maybe fell in love with anyone?"

" No. Just some tiny crush on some bad ass college kids around the corner."

" Lemme guess, one's a baseball player." I raise my brows and smirk at her.

" How did you know that?"

" I can literally see you staring at him every now and then. Now tell me which one is it?" I ask her as we turn to look at these baseball players.

A redhead who's also a player already took his shirt off. He high-five his teammates and they bump shoulders, giggling like teenagers.

" The redhead?" I ask and turn to look at Chloe.

She's already smiling as she fiddles her fingers.

" Chloe. He's hot." I giggle.

" Yeah, yeah, and he's got a boyfriend."

Oh shit!

Bummer.

I take a final look at this hot redhead and he doesn't look like someone's who got a boyfriend.

" Wow. That's pretty serious."

" Yeah. We talked only once and he said I was beautiful. That's all. Just a few glances from him at some point. I can literally tell that I'm gonna die single."

" Aww, come on." I nudge Chloe and she giggles.

Chloe is really cool. She just made me forget Todd just broke up with me for the hundredth time in three months.

" Mr. Cutie Romeo is on his way and I can assure you that." I tell her and she chuckles. " And who knows, maybe your redhead crush might ask you out. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean he might not be interested in the other gender."

Chloe laughs." Thanks Serena. I don't know if that would be good. I really like him, even if I tend to fall for the wrong guys." Oh poor you, we are definitely alike when it comes to falling for the wrong men.

"Now tell me what happened to you? You were crying a few minutes ago."

I sigh and open my mouth to speak but my ringing phone cuts me off. I pull out my phone from my bag and look at the dialer. It's Aunt Adele.

Mother's younger sister who's based in London. We're partially close. She's still unmarried and she's over 30. Aunt Adele is probably in her late 30's. She's got a boyfriend I think and like she claimed she isn't willing to settle down.

I usually tell her a lot of stuff and that includes my relationship sometimes.

" Sorry I gotta take this." I say to Chloe. She gives me an understanding nod.

" Hello."

" Serena, sweetheart. How are you doing?" She asks with her British accent. I always love listening to her. I'd whine to her to teach me how to speak the accent.

I've always adorn English men or women, especially their accent.

" I'm fine."

" No you're not fine. What happened to you? Do you want me to come down to Chicago and take you to London with me?"

I sigh. She's already winning as usual." It's about a boy."

" A boy? How many times have I told you to never cry because of a boy?"

Obviously one billion times. She's always telling us that. Beverly and I.

" This is complicated."

" Is it that Toad boy?"

I snort out a chuckle." Yeah. That's the one."

" I told you I don't like that kid."

I roll my eyes and run my hand down my hair. Thanks to Judah for stealing my hair band.

" I really like him." I defend.

" Like? So you're not in love with him?"

That I don't even know. I don't know how I feel about Todd. But I'm certain about one thing, I kinda liked him. And I hate to admit that I like Judah too. He has successfully gotten into my head.

" I don't really know. We kinda fought today? But I'll be fine. It's normal for us."

" Fighting isn't normal Serena. One sign that that relationship of yours isn't meant for you two. It's unhealthy." She tutors as usual.

Despite dating Todd, I still feel lonely sometimes. And then I'm thinking about Judah again and this isn't right. Our little chit chat in my car. Him proposing sex to me with his foul language. I silently curse and press my palm against my head. He's making me hot in all the wrong places.

" Thanks Aunt. I'm gonna deal with it." I force a smile to no one.

" How are you coping? I mean, I know I haven't been calling you frequently after the funeral and that's really bad of me. How have you been?"

" Good."

" You're sure? Or do you want me to come over."

" Thanks Aunt. I'll be fine. I'm fine." I say and look at Chloe who's waiting patiently.

" Alright. You should call me if you need anything, you hear me?"

" Of course I will."

" Be Careful alright?"

" Yeah, sure."

I sigh as she hangs up. I throw my phone inside my bag and turn to look at Chloe.

" So you're not sure if you love Todd? Then why are you guys together?"

That's the one billion dollar question I've not been able to answer.

" Serena." I hear someone call my name.

Chloe and I turn around to see Summer and Bree walking to us. Summer furrows her brows and glares at Chloe. Chloe stands up at once holding her bag pack.

" I'm just gonna leave." Chloe says. I try to talk her into staying.

It's been a long time since I had a real conversation with someone. And that someone is Beverly. She smiles and shakes her head as she turns to leave.

" See you tomorrow, Serena." Chloe says and hurriedly leaves.

" What the fuck! The nerdy kid?" Summer asks and crouches next to me.

" I see nothing wrong with her." I retorted. Bree sits next to me on my left since Summer is by my right.

" Such a cunt." Summer mutters.

I look at her at once.

" You should stop calling her names, Summer."

Summer chuckles at my defense. She smirks and nods.

" I don't give a fuck anyways. You can actually hang out with whoever you wanna hang out with though. Sucker." She huffs.

" Why are you guys out here? Thought you should be hanging out with 'Todd and his friends.'"

" They are also our friends, Serena. Your friends too." Summer says. She's being weird.

" Look, we just wanted to talk to you about what happened. Todd cares about you. He's in love with you. You and I know he's terrible when he's jealous. He doesn't mean anything he said. He thinks you were cheating on him with your super hot neighbor." Bree says.

I scoff. So hilarious.

" Todd doesn't trust me. He's insecure."

" Maybe you should have sex with him. He thinks you're depriving him sex because you're going out with someone." Summer says.

I stare at her in awe.

" Look I don't mean it the bad way though. It's just that, it's been too long. You should pity him. Todd's a man and he will definitely wanna smash some day." Summer continues.

" What are you even insinuating?"

" All I'm saying is, you should give Todd a chance in between your legs. Three months isn't three days. He wants a woman and that woman is you. Stop being selfish."

" You have no right to call me selfish, Summer. Maybe you should mind your business and focus more on finding someone who truly wants you." I snap at her and stand up.

" What the fuck!" She exclaims but I ignore her.

" I'm getting the hell outta here." I say and walk away.

" Serena." Bree calls after me but I ignore her.

" Just let her be. She will come around." I hear Summer say.

I park my car in my garage and get out. I am furious and exhausted as I climb my porch looking once at Judah's apartment. I shut my door behind me and go to my bedroom. I drop my bag and find a rubber band to tie my hair up in a ponytail. I strip off my clothes and change into a baggy sweater that ends at the bottom of my butt.

I don't know why, but I stare at Judah's bedroom through his window. He's not around. I go to the kitchen to make something to eat. I'm too lazy to cook so I settle for something easier. Cereal always makes life easy. My hand itches me to call Todd. To explain to him that Judah is just a neighbor and I don't have anything to do with him.

But I don't call him. I sigh when I remember his words at the restaurant. Calling me a slut and accusing me of cheating. All because of Judah. I'm never speaking to him ever again. He has done more than enough. He's the reason I'm fighting with Todd and I'm staying far away from him.

My doorbell rings and I drop my bowl of cereal to get it. I open the door and there stands this familiar man. Talk of Satan, and he's standing right in front of me. Looking as tempting as always. And again I forgot my promise of staying away from him a few seconds ago.

" Judah."

He smiles. One of his rare smiles that rips my heart into pieces. I wanna close the door in his face and storm away, but I don't do that. I don't know why.

Judah walks himself in before I can even stop him.

" Look, you shouldn't be here." I tell him and close my door.

I cross my arms and watch this man in my living room as I shift my weight from one foot to another. Judah turns to look at me.

" You're tired of me already?" He takes one treacherous slow stride to my form and I invisibly shudder but I don't let him see it.

"...sadly I'm just getting started." He whispers and takes another step.

Right now he's standing right in front of me and I can't breathe. His perfect form towers above me as he looks down at me like I'm his prey. I part my lips to speak but nothing comes out of my mouth. And then Judah looks down at me. His eyes registering that I'm just in my sweater and my thighs are visible to him again.

He licks his bottom lip and moves his gaze to my eyes.

" You can't be here." I manage to say.

" And why's that?"

" You know what you did. I mean how can you act so normal like you didn't put up an attitude a few hours ago in my car."

" You look beautiful." He says out of the blue and I'm taken aback. What's wrong with this man?

" You're sick." I tell him and walk past him, but a strong hand grabs my wrist and pulls me back to him.

I squeal for Judah to leave me alone but he's already pressing me against my wall.

" Judah, don't. I have a boyfriend."

He smirks, chuckles and bites his bottom lip. I don't like it when he does that , cause it literally shuts my brain down and I don't get to think about anything.

" I can't keep my hands to myself when I'm around you." He says.

" Why are you here?"

" I missed you."

Such a sweet liar. If I hadn't been in the same car as Judah for a few minutes, I'd think he meant that.

" I don't even know you. All I know about you is that you're my perverted neighbor next door."

" Why does it matter to you?"

" You should leave." I say.

Judah's expression shows he doesn't concur.

" Why? Is your college boyfriend coming over?"

" We fought today and you're the reason behind it. I love him alright and I can never want you."

He smirks. " And you're sure about that?"

And then he comes closer so I can breathe in his warm breath. My brain shuts down and I'm hypnotized by his marvelous and sinful mouth of his. I'm too intoxicated to notice Judah's fingertips on my bare thigh and his warm mouth on my neck. I go weak in his grip as I bite myself to stop myself from my moaning.

I want to push him away. Yell at him for making me feel this way, but I can't. Judah's succeeding. He's always winning when it comes to our little games. His hand rubs my thighs and grabs my waist. I liked it as I shut my eyes. I feel his hand brush past my lace panties. He growls darkly against the skin of my neck and he gently bites me. I don't stop him. I can't stop him. He knows my weak spot and he's taking advantage of it.

Judah kisses down my collar bone. His hand rubs up my hips and it's soothing. I shamelessly moan and I almost regret it. Judah pulls back his head a little to gaze into my flush face.

And then he's leaning closer. His he about to kiss me? I don't know how it happened but I push Judah away from me and slap him.

"Fuck." He smirks and looks at me. I'm scared of him right now. I fiddle with my hands and get ready for my death.

I can imagine what my death is gonna look like right now. No one's gonna notice or even care when Judah gets rid of my body.

" You're cute." He says and smirks even more. He's weird and strange. I was expecting him to be mad because I just slapped him.

My doorbell rings at once and I whip my head to look at it.

" Serena."

" Oh my God, Todd."