[2]

Luckily, I didn't oversleep. I don't know when I fell asleep, but one thing's for sure, tonight I didn't sleep peacefully. Ever since I found out about the other life and a ton of burden suddenly fell on my shoulders, I couldn't sleep soundly anymore. My mind became chaotic. Even though I was attacked by drowsiness, I didn't want to close my eyes.

To make matters worse, the events of that night replayed, albeit somewhat blurry. Now I understand what Naomi meant when she said that yesterday. Clearly. I was the one teasing Cedric. At first, I wanted to deny it and would continue to deny it. But in the end, I gave up. I did tease Cedric. Who wouldn't succumb to temptation when I was completely unaware, supposed to be more cautious than usual?

A black dress above the knees with a high neckline. And to top it off, I was drunk. Is there anything else I regret? Plenty.

That night wasn't the first time I did it. With Cedric, I mean, it was the second time. Back when I was still in college, I felt sad and deeply regretted my actions. Fortunately, we were safe. At least there was nothing that would be my responsibility later. Since then, I never wanted to be trapped again in fear and excessive worry about the consequences.

But the foolish part is that I was careless this time. My brain seemed to have been left in the office toilet. There's no logical thinking like usual. It seemed like I truly became a seductive woman. I don't know if I should feel sad, scared, worried, hurt, or what. But one thing is for sure, regret always comes later.

And now I'm supposed to ask Cedric to take responsibility? That's insane!

When I opened my eyes the next morning after falling asleep exhausted that night, I sat at the edge of the bed, gathering my sanity and memories. When I looked to the other side of the bed, I wished I could rewind and fix it so that I didn't have to face what I'm facing now. Cedric was there. Sleeping soundly shirtless. As for me? Don't even ask. I just wrapped my naked body with a blanket. Massaging my temples quite hard, I still felt the headache.

"Ma'am," he called with a slight groan. Cedric was already fully dressed. He walked towards me and awkwardly sat at the dining table. Right in front of me.

"Don't talk. I don’t want to talk about last night." I placed a cup of warm jasmine tea that I liked.

"I—"

"Please, Cedric. Let's forget it. Pretend like nothing happened." I got up. "After finishing your coffee, please go home immediately. I still want to sleep."

"If something happens to you, I take responsibility."

I chuckled softly. "I remember what you said last night. It's impossible to get pregnant from just one night." And I also vividly remembered, even though I was still under the influence of vodka, we did it three times. And without protection. Impressive, right? How stupid of me, Anya!!!

I don't know if my words offended him or what. He just stared at me intensely. Then, without asking for permission, he left. Slamming the door quite hard behind him.

For the first time in my life, I cried about what I had done.

***

"Anya, are you okay?" Krystal's voice startled me, breaking my reverie. I blinked slowly and refocused on my work. "Sorry, ma'am," I replied.

"Have you had breakfast? If not, there are some sandwiches on my desk. We're going to face a long day," Krystal gestured for me to follow her. The sound of her expensive high heels echoed, along with the tapping of my own shoes, as I followed her lead. A small plate with a few sandwich pieces and three stacked folders were handed over to me. Krystal could be both kind and ruthless. I couldn't refuse, so I smiled as sweet as honey and thanked her.

I stared at the cup of warm jasmine tea with a troubled expression. My mind wandered off to who knows where, thinking about my situation for the next few months. Truth be told, I couldn't sleep for more than an hour or two before dawn. Luckily, I was skilled with concealer and foundation. Otherwise, Krystal would be asking me why I had dark circles under my eyes.

Ever since that night, Cedric and I acted like strangers to each other. Limited greetings were all we exchanged. I guess he had a lot of work too. As for me, eating lunch on time was an occasion to give thanks. Sometimes, Cedric would buy me lunch, but that was because he often had his lunch ordered and delivered here. The days following that night, everything was just normal. No burden whatsoever.

Except for this morning.

Everything changed because now I wasn't just taking care of myself. There was Cedric's blood flowing in the fetus I was carrying. When I caught him cleaning my desk and computer screen earlier this morning, I froze. Normally, I'd just smile briefly and sit at another chair, waiting for him to finish his work. My thoughts drifted to how he could possibly take responsibility for us—me and our future child.

Oh God! What should I do?

Last night, I went through my work documents. I read the small company rules book. According to the company rules, there was a three-month maternity leave. But most of the staff here were married. As for me, I wasn't even married. There's no way HR would give me three months of maternity leave, or even just one full month, and still pay me. Impossible. Also, my child wouldn't get any insurance benefits from the company since there was no clear proof of my marriage.

I sighed in frustration. When my eyes fell on a box of business cards with my name on it, the feeling of pressure intensified.

Anya Joice, S.I.K

Secretary to the Board of Directors

Blaxton Express

Batavean Disrict, Koil Tower lot 4

And all of this was at stake. Should I just terminate it all?

***

"Anya?" I flinched. The sheet I was supposed to work on was still blank in my hands. I winced at the thought of my boss turning into a tiger.

"Be focused."

I nodded, unsure of where the conversation was heading.

"Do you have a problem?"

Hastily, I shook my head. Only Naomi and Dona knew about this issue. Krystal? I hoped not! My image would be shattered in an instant, and I wasn't prepared for that. Krystal often praised my performance and skills, and I didn't want that to change just because I was... pregnant.

No.

No.

We were close, but also distant. She easily asked questions and always got answers, but no one dared to ask her questions in return. Even if someone did, Krystal would just smile in response.

Her fortress was too high, and maybe that's why I got used to it. I emulated how a career woman should act. Only to certain people would I open up about who I truly was. But that didn't apply to Krystal. She remained an untouchable woman.

And I should be like that too, right? Oh God! Anya, I swear... I'm incredibly stupid!!!

"Yes, you do." My reverie broke, and Krystal held up a bundle of red folders that I had given her earlier. It contained the key points for our collaboration with the E-commerce department. My brows furrowed; I couldn't find any issues there. I had double-checked everything.

"Fix it."

And Krystal left just like that. I quickly skimmed through the pages, stealing glances at the clock on my computer's toolbar. I felt frustrated because I only had thirty minutes. Oh my God! The delayed meeting time was helpful, but having to fix the key points in just thirty minutes?

My eyes scanned the pages frantically, and finally, I noticed the mistake. Oh my God! Krystal was questioning my focus! No time to waste; I immediately corrected the error. It was about the budget, and I had already agreed with the finance department. This was a critical point that we would consider in the meeting later. Why did this have to be wrong? Oh my God!

The printer hadn't even finished printing the revisions, and Krystal had already left the room. This made me feel even more flustered as I scrambled to put on my high heels.

"Ready, Anya?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She simply nodded and started walking without caring if I was ready. For her, time was money, and opportunities should never be wasted. Fortunately, she didn't leave me behind in the elevator.

"Don't lose focus, okay? How long have you been working with me?"

I chose to purse my lips.

When the elevator doors opened, the sound of our high heels tapping echoed. Some people turned and gave us fake smiles, especially towards Krystal. As usual, my boss only gave a small smile. She wore an army green slit pencil skirt, paired with a long-sleeved shirt that highlighted her long neck. Her long hair cascaded freely. Hermes was always Krystal Blaxton's favorite brand.

Like a model, she always managed to captivate almost everyone's attention in the lobby. She was my reflection. Until yesterday, that is. Because now, I felt like I was plummeting into the void. Ah, minus zero even.

Charismatic, independent, smart, beautiful, elegant, polite, and actually... kind. She was just an over-perfectionist. I always took Krystal as my role model. Seven years working under the same flag, with the last four as her secretary. It made me learn so many styles and positive auras that Krystal presented in front of a crowd, especially in business meetings.

But now? Everything feels pointless.

"Anya, seriously. Do you need to take leave next week?" Krystal asked.

I blinked slowly, trying to gather my thoughts after daydreaming.

"Did you hear what Anya just said?"

"Leave?" I mumbled.

Krystal got into her luxurious sedan with a very distinct huff. I was sure it was directed at me. As my behind landed on the plush leather seat of her car, she was still not done making me feel foolish today.

"Why won't you talk to me? What's wrong with you?" Krystal shot at me, her eyes sharp.

"Because, I need your focus, Anya. Don't mess up this meeting. You know what I mean, right?" I strengthened my resolve. "I don't have any problems, ma'am. Maybe it's just because I didn't get enough sleep last night."

I heard her sigh, her hands now in a relaxed position. "Next time, I won't be like this again."

***

The meeting went just as Krystal wanted, leaving a pile of work for me. We returned to the office at five o'clock. Office hours officially ended, but for me, not yet. I refused to leave any work unfinished today. Tomorrow's business can wait. Today's tasks must be done today. It wasn't too much work anyway. If my calculations were correct, I should be out of the office by seven.

Krystal's back disappeared behind her office's glass door. I quickly placed the documents and my bag down, then sat back, leaning against the chair. Today had been tiring for me. Maybe washing my face to feel fresh again wouldn't be a bad idea. So, I acted on my intention, exchanging my heels for pink fluffy sandals for comfort.

Indeed, it was not a bad idea at all. I felt refreshed and ready for overtime. For a moment, I forgot about the overwhelming thoughts of what was inside my womb. When I returned to the room, Cedric was there, just stepping out of Krystal's office.

I don't know why, but my body tensed up. As if everything that happened between Cedric and me automatically played in my mind.

"Ms. Anya?" I didn't know how long I had been daydreaming. What I knew was that Cedric was now standing in front of me, looking confused. I cleared my throat briefly and chose to walk past him, ignoring his presence.

"Are you working late, ma'am?"

Usually, he often asked this question to employees who left the office late. Some of them would request a cup of coffee or warm tea and snacks. "Ah, yes. Anya is working overtime."

"Do you want me to make you tea as well?"

I didn't know how to respond.

"Ms. Krystal also asked for tea. Maybe Ms. Anya wants some too?" Cedric seemed to be looking down when I glanced at him. I don't know why.

"Sure."

He only nodded briefly and disappeared from my view. I had to completely ignore his presence, forget about what happened over the past two months, and pretend that what was inside me didn't exist. Or maybe I should just get rid of it? It's distracting my concentration, after all.

Really.

Oh well, this time, I better stay late. Krystal hadn't shown any signs of leaving yet. I could still hear her voice, probably on the phone with someone.

"I put it here, ma'am."

Maybe because I was too focused and immersed in my work, I just nodded without looking at Cedric again. Slowly, the scent of jasmine tea and salty cheese reached my nose. I glanced at the tray that Cedric had placed on the nearby table.

I hope you like it.

Cedric