Chapter 3 Tale In The Den

Trembling lips, frozen brain and clenching heart. The shock was insurmountable. I wanted to blink but forgot of how it works. I wanted to be angry, but also wanted to cry. He was there, just two feet away but it felt as if we've never met, like we were stranger.

I wanted to believe, so damn hard that the Fates were tricking me, just using me for entertainment for a short period of time. To make me miserable for a short period of time. But it wasn't. Reality was like water splattered at me, that he'd changed forever.

I feel amputated. My weightless limbs dangling at the joints of my body as the guards drag me towards the prison bars. I felt like floating, in the space where memories were acid and fire, where they soaked and eating away my inside. I was broken. Thousand pieces of my heart fell into the abyss. It was too painful.

The disdain and arrogant look he showed me. That authority and despicable posture she hated, yet he possessed. He still had that appearance. The messy Raven black hair as if he never comb his head but just brush it with his fingers. The toughness and pale white like snow of his skin. The strong feature and those arms I always found  comfort, the warmth when they wrapped around me. His fingers at his side, those would bring the sensation that can tremble my heart by their touches. Yet, I couldn't reach out to touch him because I knew, I knew that they would kill me...he would let them kill me.

I wanted to believe that he wouldn't, but his eyes always proved me wrong. There wasn't the warmth, cheerful and innocent sea-green eyes. It was now replaced by the cold emeralds and they flecked with resentment when they looked at me. They were empty, no sympathy, just two green stones of emptiness like the Field of Asphodel. There wasn't the smile and joyful grin that he greeted me. His lips kept close, the edges of his pale pink lips made a permanent horizontal line on his face as if he had lost the feeling of laughter.

The prison door creaked open and they threw me onto the cold, wet straws. The clinking of metal as they locked the cell door vibrated the dark and cold dungeon. 

"What do we do with her my prince?" I remembered they asked him.

His icy eyes glanced around, at his kins laying on the grounds, dead by her blades and it got him mad. I never imagined he would give that look, the look indicates he wants to kill me.

My eyes sparkled by tears. But I didn't cry. I don't know why I didn't. I don't know why I didn't get angry. I don't know why I didn't stand up and slap him, yell at him for daring to give me that look. I never asked why he left....

Perhaps it was the shock that blocked my brain, or perhaps he had changed me. I knew the consequences, I knew I'd be weak when I give in. But because I loved him, I thought I could fight it. I knew i wasn't that strong to deal with situations like those. I wasn't Aphrodite who can break someone heart and heal them, or heal her own heart in a matter of seconds. I knew I was weak, that was why I acted strong. But he slowly stripped away those barriers from me, slowly and layer by layer until I was vulnerable to all things. And now I've to face that consequences.

I stared at his eyes, like a brick of green wall. Please crouch down and touch me. Please smile at me. Please whisper to me that I'm going to be ok, that you will protect me. That was what I hoped, that was what my weak and bleeding heart moaned. Yet it shattered me completely when he held his chin high and spoke with  the strange voice I never heard and it sent shiver to me.

"Put her in the cells. I don't want to have any god in my sight!"

He swept his black cape her my face, a cold wind escaped under him and slapped at my cheeks. He walked away just like that, leaving me on the ground vulnerable to all things, leaving me with his cold broad shoulders and the resentment looks of his kins.

Tears dropping and crawling down my cold cheeks. I spent the next hour crying in the cell, and only the fluffing fire listened to my sobs. The straws were cold and wet, yet they were so comfortable. I don't know why, perhaps I just needed something to hold on. He didn't come. No one came after that. Darkness and moist were my friends, they wrapped around me their cold remnants.

I allowed the shadow crippled on me, dancing upon my back as my heart kept trying to form and collapse the moment they were assembled. I don't know why it hurt so much. I wanted to stop but it couldn't.  Perhaps that was my punishment, for intending to break the Maiden Oath I took many years ago. Maybe the lady Styx was angry at me and decided this would the most suitable punishment for me.

Even though I felt betrayed, I still had some senses left in my mind. I tried to gather myself, the sensible parts that still left, yet they were fragile. They have done something to him, something despicable. I knew it and I couldn't do anything. All hope was no avail since I would rot her for eternity. I'm Perhaps they would kill me soon.

I still had a lot to tell him, actually to complain all those months effort of finding him. I wanted to give him a good punch. I wanted his warmth, the feeling of him embracing me. I missed his touches and his lips. Yet those were what I hoped, what I dreamed.

I watched the shadow of the torches, projected by the fire dancing upon the walls afar and wondered to myself if all this was just a nightmare, a long nightmare that would end soon. So slowly, my eyes lids weighted of tonnes and my tears dried on my lashes, making a glue and sealed my eyes close.

No don't go Percy. Don't leave me. Please don't go!

Horror ripped my eyelids open.

My body clenched in cold sweat, my brain swimming in unforgotten waves of pain. My eyes settled on the circles of black that dissolve in darkness. I don't know how long I slept. I don't know if I screamed out loud. Yet there was one thing was certain, that no one ever came.

I looked at the prison door again. An old wooden flat with edges of celestial bronze. The water on the cobblestones sparkled by the light of the touches afar, creeping into my cell through the small gaps of the door. I started crying agin. I felt lonely, so empty and I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to be strong. I knew that wasn't the situation to cry, it would make me look pathetic. Yet I couldn't help it. The fact of remembering that cold look and voice from him shattered me.

Do you get it now? Falling in love only make you weak, it makes you pathetic and vulnerable.

"I know it ok?" I whispered to the emptiness and silence of the dungeon. "It just I thought I could endure it. I...love him"

And how did that turn out? You were not supposed to be like this. You knew the pain would be unbearable. Yet, stupidly enough you still followed him, the path of fools.

The cold wind pinched my skin, crippling down my arms as they squeezed around me their voices. The night blowing the murmurs, the drops drops of water from the ceiling also seemed to be alive, to be talking.

All of them are the same. That was why you didn't trust them, and you shouldn't have. Have you learned now Artemis? That all male, no matter how good they are, the beast still inside them. And sooner or later, they will betray you?

"No!" I screamed to the blank, the wall deflected my voice and spatted  back at me from all directions.

"...he's not like that. He's not like them....I...." My voice suddenly got quite, and the sobbing climbed its way up my throat.

Yet he stilled betrayed you! He left to to dead, he forgot all those pains and efforts you have sacrificed for him! You are in denial Artemis. You know that he's changed, and forever he'll be. He has chosen his people over you. He has buried memories of you in distant lands.

"Stop!" I screamed at the soulless straws, whom only stared at me with flecks of light. "They manipulated him...he's not changed...he's still Percy"

Wake yourself before it's too late. Perhaps now closing your heart, bury those feelings for him maybe better for you. Return to who you once was. The independent, the strong and determined Artemis. Quit this miserable form, the form who hated most. Love is for weaklings. Males are all the same, are traitors and beasts. Close your heart Artemis. Harden it again, wrapping it in the ice you once created and you can numb that pain. You don't have to shred tears no more. Close your heart, harden it. Return to who you once were.

The strange voice vibrated and dissipated inside me. At sat in silence, only the whistling of wind through the bars at the window ranged at my ears. Perhaps it was right. I can't take this anymore, it just hurt too damn much. Perhaps the voice was right. The old me was impenetrable, unstoppable and invulnerable.

I didn't sweep my tears, they still formed droplets on my lashes as I looked up the the moon. It's light creeped through the windows, between the bars and danced upon my face. It was cold yes, but the light touch of its light warmed my heart, providing me comfort. I felt empty, and lonely and the moon was the only friend I had.

The moon is a loyal companion.

It never leaves. It's always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Gods or mortals we always change, like the moon sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. Watching it filled my heart with relief, a little of hope for changes.

Perhaps it was alright for me to change. To accept a new me, or perhaps the old. I was changed because of how my father treated my mother, I was changed because of him and now I'll change because our fate do not fit. We were not destined to join. Joining only brings deaths and miserable.

And my feet felt back the strength to stand, I felt the courage to be myself again, the strong and independent person, the one used to be. I had to courage to wipe my tears, to cast away that weakness, that shadow behind me. I wanted to yell I was ready, I wanted to yell out I'm going to change. But somehow it occurred in me differently, as if an unknown force appeared in my mind. And my lips started to move, as the memory of the lullaby my mother used to sing when I was young returned. Under the moon light, the darkness, I sang.

May it be an evening star

Shines down upon you

May it be when darkness falls

Your heart will be true

You walk a lonely road

And your heart is lost in space

Mornië utulié

Allëh ar tarlë indórme hir fär laeé (Believe and you will find your way)

Mornië alantie

Älán fęyerï wallë tarlë í (A promise lives within you now)

May it be the shadow's call

Will fly away

May it be your journey on

To light the day

When the dark is overcome

You may rise to find the light

Mornië utulie (darkness has come)

Allëh ar tarlë indórme hir fär laeé

Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)

Älán fęyerï wallë tarlë í....

Her voice filled the quite night, crippling through any confined space, escaped the cold dungeons. Her voice made all things stopped and wonder. The animals were watchful yet felt peace and comfort by her voice. Its sound travelled through gardens and trees and flower blossomed upon its reach.

He was sitting on his desk until it travelled into his ears. His feet was made to stand. The sound snapped something inside him which he could not explain. His muscles become tired, relaxing and he felt peaceful. Somehow this particular voice provoked a feeling in him, yet settled down also the waves and fire in his heart. He stood there, by the candle dancing in her voice and he stared out into blank space, trying to look for its source.

And there her voice climbed to its peak, reaching anyone's ears around her  and they feel at peace.

She finished her song. She didn't know why she just randomly sang it. It just came a moment right there. She didn't know why she could sing and pronounce those strange words. Yet, it wasn't time for her to think until the door was creak open again.

Artemis to to that direction. A girl came in, her hand was holding a lamp and her cold lips patted a few simple words

"You're summoned."