04

I would stand there and scrutinize every single detail until everything was as good as it could get. I’d given up on ever being as beautiful as my sister but it didn’t mean I wanted to attract further negative attention. Criticisms still hurt and neither confidence nor resignation offered sufficient padding to the attack. It took time to grew thick skin.

My brown hair was swept up into a loose, elegant bun, my makeup perfectly neutral and natural. The peach cocktail dress silhouetted my slender frame, giving it a little more bulk where I needed it around the chest and defining my waist to look trimmer. The intricate floral embroidery on it was shot through with soft gold thread that caught the light, giving the understated patterns a little magic at the smallest movement.

Finally satisfied with my entire ensemble, I got into the limo that Dad had sent over to pick me up. My confidence wilted slightly when Anna slid into the car next to me in a bold royal blue dress that clung to every perfect part of her. There was never anything understated about her, especially when she flashed you a broad, beautiful grin and threw her arms around you in a quick hug.

« You look amazing, Tess ! » she gushed when she finally pulled back to give my attire a cursory glance. « You always manage to make everything look so classic and elegant. »

Anna loved me too much to call my classic and elegant style exactly what it was—boring.

« Thank you, » I said quietly, tucking a stray lock that had already slipped from my hairstyle. My hair could never hold a curl and it was too fine to stay locked in place. »You look stunning yourself but then when do you never ? »

Anna just laughed good-naturedly and bumped arms with me. « Do you think Charlotte’s going to turn up all decked out or is she going to spite everyone by showing up in her sneakers and jeans ? »

I shrugged. « She looked decent enough during brunch. She probably knows it’s expected of her now that she’s marrying Brandon. »

Anna rolled her eyes. « I don’t know, Tess. She doesn’t strike me as the type to do what’s expected. She didn’t exactly hold back telling me off during brunch. »

« Well, you weren’t very nice to her. »

« I just don’t trust her, » Anna grumbled. « She came out of nowhere—and with Brandon, of all men. He’s prime matrimonial prize around here. Him and Jake. »

« Definitely not Jake, » I scoffed. « He’s not going to get leg-shackled anytime soon. »

« He will if he’s met the right girl, » Anna argued.

I glanced at my sister and the tiny knit between her brows. « So people who are married have definitely met the right person for them. That’s why they’re married, right ? »

I didn’t miss the spark of hurt in Anna’s eyes and I almost regretted making the point. But I steeled myself against it. I didn’t want to cause my sister pain but carrying on an affair with a married man would only lead to more of it and if I could haul her off that road, I would.

« I don’t expect you to ever understand, Tess, » she muttered, looking away to stare out the window. « You’ve never been in love. »

Oh, I’ve been there. And it’s a terrible place when you’re there with the wrong man.

But I didn’t say any of that because no one knew how low I’d come at one point.

Between my suffering sister and my infatuated brother, I wasn’t looking forward to finding myself there again.

Except that every time I was within a ten-meter radius of Jake Hastings, I’d always find myself standing at the precipice, swaying dangerously close to the edge again.

Seeing him all splendid and sharp in his tux later that evening was no different. At least he wasn’t accessorized with one of the interchangeable women he’d bring to these society events this time. Although, one look at his expression after finally meeting Charlotte face to face, and I didn’t think his showing up dateless tonight made a difference anyway. He was already taken in with another woman—my brother’s bride-to-be.

« I’m assuming you approve ? » I said as I stood next to him after he shooed away Brandon and Charlotte to greet their other guests.

Jake still had his eyes glued to couple—or more like the back of Charlotte’s head. « Of course, I approve. Who wouldn’t approve of her ? There’s something special about that girl. »

« Isn’t that what you say about every woman you’ve met and bedded ? » I asked with a scoff, trying to ignore the stab of pain at my own reminder of Jake’s endless cycle. « Something so special you just have to put your finger—or other appendage—on or in it ? »

Jake’s head whipped around this time, looking half-scandalized, half-amused. « Why does everyone seem to think you’re an absolute angel ? Is it only me you pick on ? »

I couldn’t resist a smile. For all my relentless jabs, Jake would just keep taking it. He’s never been mad at me my whole life. « Only because you make it so easy and you supply me with so much ammo. »

I schooled my expression into a stern one this time. « But all joking aside, she’s marrying Brandon so back off. I’m a good sister, remember ? I can’t let you steal my brother’s girl. »

« Relax, I’m not going to do that—as tempting as that may be, » Jake said with an easy smile. « I’m just… a bit stunned by her. She’s nowhere near Brandon’s type and yet… she totally makes sense for him. »

I didn’t say anything as I watched Jake turn his attention back to the couple as they beamed at a group of people heartily offering their best wishes.

« You can tell she makes him happy—you just have to see how that smile stays in his eyes long after she’d looked away from him, » Jake continued in a pensive tone. « She just lights him up like nothing can. »

I watched Charlotte, trying my best to fight the tightening emotion in my chest that I knew so well. I already had one glorious sister I was constantly measured up to. I didn’t need another one who would offer the glaring contrast of her sunny personality against my own reserved one. And I definitely didn’t need further proof that Jake craved the exact opposite of what I could offer him—if I were still interested, that is.

But I wasn’t.

I’m not. Haven’t been for a while.

For all my shortcomings, I was no doormat who would be happy to have a man trample me down with his feet as if it were lavish affection. I didn’t have Anna’s abundance of confidence or Charlotte’s cool handle on everything but I had my pride—frayed, small thing it might be.

« I think they’re doing it to each other, » I said, surprised at my own statement. « The lighting up part, I mean. I hear it’s a side effect of love. Couples infect each other and it just keeps going round and round. It’ll be a while before those flames are doused. »

Jake glanced at me with a quirky smile. « Right now, Tess, I can’t decide if you’re being a sassy cynic or a reluctant romantic. »

I shrugged, avoiding his smiling gaze. « Neither. I prefer being realistic. I know people get the warm and fuzzies. I also know that sometimes, they’re not enough. »

« Warm and fuzzies ? » Jake cracked up laughing. « Well, I guess there’s that but it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than just warm and fuzzies, Tessa. There’s sex and convenience and where you each stand in your lives—« 

« Sex and convenience, » I sneered before I could help myself because my blood just went hot with fury. « Trust you to string those two words together in the same sentence. You want to hear my stand on this, Jake ? I don’t trust it. Why ? Because of men like you. »

I walked away and left Jake with his mouth hanging open because I already said too much.

That outburst was classic, old Tessa and she didn’t exist anymore.

But she was still in the bloodstains over the heart she’d once stitched close.