Chapter Four

After two weeks of overthinking it, Adam finally found the will to step out of his apartment for groceries. He didn't have to walk too far, the small business run by nice Asian folks with a thick accent was only around the block. It didn't make Adam's anxiety any easier or manage, though. So, as usual, he had his face and hair buried under his hoodie, and he avoided looking anywhere but the floor.

If anyone called out to him, that would be enough for him to turn around and sprint back towards his apartment.

The behavior was strange, but it was something Adam couldn't explain himself. He wasn't always like this. Back then he had been shy, but not like this. His anxiousness around people had grown worse over the years, and shutting himself indoors wasn't helping, but he couldn't bring himself to confront the fear.

What did he have to go outside for anyway?

Shopping. That was about it. So why even bother? Or at least that's how he saw it.

"Fuck, it's cold," Adam groaned other his breath as he tucked his naked hands into the pocket of his stained pants. It was a fall morning??about ten on a Saturday. The peace and quiet outside had made it an attractive time to go shopping but what had he been thinking only wearing jogging pants and a loose hoodie?

"Fuck," Adam groaned again, feeling his cold dry fingers run against the fabric of his pocket in a way that made the feeling worse. Adam's lips thinned put into a line. For a moment he considered going back home, but he shook his head knowing that he wouldn't find the will to step outside again for another month or so. He started walking again, only stopping in his tracks when someone walked past him. Adam looked up, and his eyes went wide when he noticed the person in front of him.

Assad.

He had only seen the man a few times, but his dreadlocks and tall figure were hard to mistake for someone else. Adam blinked, wondering if Assad hasn't noticed him because of his get-up.

The man was now a good distance ahead of him, but Adam could spot the shopping bags in his hands and noticed that Assad was heading in the same direction as him. He was going shopping too.

Adam's stomach churned. He didn't want to talk to the kid now. Assad had knocked on his door a few times after dropping off the apology gift, but he had given up rather quickly.

I should go back. He thought to himself, letting his brain use any excuse it wanted to, to try and convince him to go back inside.

For a minute he staggered, turning back in the direction of the apartment complex, but he stopped himself, shaking his head and walking before his brain could make him pause again. He couldn't live on take-out forever even if he wanted to. He would run out of money if he did that.

He kept heading off the grocery store, telling himself that he would just ignore Assad if the youngster called out. Heck, maybe he wouldn't recognize him under the hoodie.

The bell jiggled when Adam pushed open the door, and he made a beeline to the basket stack, grabbing one of them before moving about the store as quickly as possible to grab the groceries he wanted. He avoided everyone's gaze??including Assad's and made sure they were at all-times at opposite ends of the store.

Adam let out a relieved sigh as he grabbed the last item on his list. It was such a small thing??shopping in public, but it felt like an extreme sport sometimes.

Adam looked up from his basket, noticing that Assad was still grabbing stuff. He rose a brow, wondering why the man was so slow. Looking away, his eyes fell on the check-out desk with the chaser behind it. She wasn't busy, and Adam felt that if he went over, she would be done scanning his items in a few minutes and he would pay and leave before Assad could catch up to him.

He went ahead to meet her, ignoring her greeting and focusing on his phone as she scanned his items.

"That's $80.56," the lady said, making Adam reach into his pocket for his debit card.

A frown formed on his face when he couldn't feel anything. "Give me a moment," he said, reaching into his second pocket, but it was the same. Nothing.

He started to panic. He wondered where his card went and started to trace back his day before looking down at his hoodie and remembering that his card was tucked in the pocket of a different hoodie, not this grey ketchup stained on. The realization calmed him down a bit. At least it hadn't fallen on the street somewhere.

"I??" he started, feeling his chest squeeze up. "I forgot my debit card, so you guys have a tab?" He asked, and the woman shook her head, making Adam let out a sigh as he nodded.

Adam's throat felt sore, and his eyes watered from frustration. He had come all this way for nothing, and there was no way he could avoid this. "Alright," he started saying. "I'll just put these back then??"

"I'll pay for that, don't worry." The sound of Assad's voice made Adam blink before looking to his side, and sure enough, the taller man was standing beside him with an apologetic grin.

"You can't??"

"You can pay me back later," Assad said, tapping his card on the POS machine. "It's alright, I promise."

Adam picked up this grocery bag from the counter after Assad paid. He turned and headed for the door, wanting to leave while Assad got his items scanned, but his conscience pricked him, pointing out that it would be rude to just disappear without even saying thank you.

So, Adam waited by the door, staring at Assad as he smiled at the cashier and exchanged some words. Adam felt tired just looking at him talk. If Adam had been in Assad's position, he would be exhausted??talking to people drained him, but Assad looked right at home.

The dark-skinned man looked up from his bagged groceries, catching Adam off guard.

"You're still here," Assad said, walking up to Adam before opening the door for the both of them.

The blue-eyed man shrugged. "Yeah," he said, feeling the dryness of his throat. "I wanted to say thank you for the help," Adam added, following Assad out of the grocery store.

The clouds had given way to the sun a bit, so it was brighter. Assad's hair beads reflected light and made it hard for Adam to look up at him. He was wearing a jumper over some blue jeans.

"It's alright," Assad said, responding to Adam's thanks. "You looked like you were in a tight spot there."

"Yeah," Adam muttered, looking over at the buildings on the side. He couldn't recognize some of the buildings. There weren't any new ones, it was just that some of them had been renovated in a way, or had their front yards expanded outwards.

Adam hummed to himself, wondering if it had really been that long since he looked up from the ground when going grocery shopping. He had his hood down because he wanted to talk to Assad properly.

"By the way, is that all you're going to stock up on for the next week or so?"

Adam blinked, being brought out of his thoughts by Assad's question. He looked over the man, before following his gaze to the grocery bag Adam had in his hand.

"Oh," the man said, looking down at the floor. "It's for the month actually."

"The month?" Assad sounded taken aback. "That's all you're going to eat for a month?"

Adam shook his head. "Take out too," he added and Assad's expression grew even more horrified.

"Is that why you're this skinny?" the taller man asked, nudging Adam's side. "Dude, you have to eat," he added, and Adam didn't say anything in response. His face warmed up in embarrassment, and a frown played on his face as he nibbled his bottom lip.

"You shouldn't care about what I eat," Adam said in a firm tone, that made Assad's eyes go wide before he looked away.

"I'm sorry," the dark-skinned man said, dropping the banter.

The rest of the walk home was quiet, and the two climbed up the apartment stairs together. Adam dropped off at his floor, expecting Assad to continue on without him, but the man stopped too.

"Hey," he said as Adam fumbled with the keys. "If I make something and invite you over for dinner sometime will you come?"

Adam's hand paused on the lock. He didn't look back and just stared at the wooden door in front of him.

"Why are you offering?" he asked, feeling stressed by the idea of eating with someone and having to talk to them for an extended period of time.

"I always overcook," Assad said before letting the corridor fall into silence. "If you're not a Caribbean spice person, that's okay, I could always season my food after I've scooped a portion for you."

Adam was still quiet.

"Alright," Assad sighed after a while. "I'm guessing that's a no."

The sound of footsteps started to ring through the corridor.

"Wait." The word left Adam's mouth before he could stop himself. "Sure, I'll come if you ask," Adam mumbled, feeling the hairs on his neck stand up. He was sure Assad was staring at him, but he couldn't bring himself to turn and look at him.

"I really like hot spices so it's okay," Adam said. The empty boxes of Indian and Thai take out in his workspace was a testament to that. He hadn't eaten Caribbean food before, but he did like ordering that one Somali rice dish from a local restaurant.

"That's great." Adam could heat the excitement in Assad's voice. "I'll just come over and knock on your door if I make anything," the man said before the sound of footsteps started and then faded into the distance.

It took a bit of time for Adam to come out of his daze, but when he did, he quickly made it into his apartment before heading to lie down in bed.

He couldn't believe he had sacrificed his privacy for food.