I wish it were you

Tatiana

I try to be in my best mood possible in school. I make a mental note to myself to nod, smile, or make side remarks anytime Emily says something. I tell myself, like I did yesterday, that if I act normally, then my need for Hasan would vanish.

I wouldn’t have to get tingles anytime our gaze meets in class, or I won’t have that burning need to pull his seatmate’s hair whenever she flirtatiously caresses his arm whenever she talks to him. For fuck’s sake, we’re in class, and she deserves detention or some kind of punishment for talking in class.

I fight the urge not to walk up to Miss Treton and report them myself. She needs to do something.

“Are you listening?” Emily is way too close to my ear.

“What? Yes!” I grab my book to show I was listening to her. She leans back in her seat, slumping her body downward. Just then, the school bell goes off. It’s fourth period, and my last class of the day. Emily and I chose to hang outside the campus before coming back at 6 for cheer practice.

Emily and I begin to walk out of the school. Just like me, she is done with class for the day. We take her car to the nearest burger café. We decide to sit outside. She orders a double burger, and I order a burrito. While our order is being processed, Emily continues talking.

“You have been in a weird mood since last night. I promise not to pressure you into talking, so all I can do is make you forget whatever is troubling you.” She pauses in a bid to create a little bit of tension.

“Hasan asked me out on a date this morning. Ah!” She squeals, slapping a hand over her mouth to contain her excitement.

Just how exactly is that supposed to make me forget? She’s going out with the boy who happens to be the cause of my problems. Though, I couldn’t blame Emily for that.

“Oh, I’m happy for you.” I give her a strained smile. I could only hope that my facial expressions didn’t express how I truly feel.

“Are you though?” Emily says with a dejected slump of his shoulders. “Come on, Taty. This is the first guy I’ve liked in a long time. Try to be happy for me.”

“I am happy, Emily.” I take her hand in mine. “It’s just… this is Hasan we’re talking about. He’s an asshole, a flirt, and has more body counts than his number of touchdowns combined. He’s my brother, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Emily’s face softens. She seems genuinely touched by my concern for her. If only she knew that it wasn’t concern but jealousy. She goes to speak, but we are interrupted by our food. We thank the waitress, and I immediately squirt mayo sauce on my burrito.

“I know you’re worried, but you’ll help me pick a dress, right?” Emily wiggles her brows.

I roll my eyes at her silliness. “Of course.”

HOURS LATER

Cheer practice lasted an hour. Emily and I were currently in the locker room changing out of our cheer clothes. She drives us back to my house.

All through the ride back home, she tries to imagine all the places Hasan could take her to and even which outfit would be appropriate for each venue.

“Do you think he’d take me to watch a movie?” she would say every now and then. “Should I wear a dress with nothing underneath? Or a really thin top that shows a lot of cleavage and points out my nipples.” Honestly, I stopped paying attention a long time ago.

When we get home, Emily runs off to my room. I go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. My mom calls as I unscrew the cap. I assure her that everything is fine; we’ve been eating just fine and basically just reassure her. She acts like we’re five and need to be constantly checked on.

“And your brother?” Her question makes me pause. Mom knows when I’m lying. But I could tell her Hasan threw a party. I didn’t trust that fucker to have deleted the video, so I lied.

“Annoying.” I figure she wouldn’t suspect anything from my one-worded response. We talk for a few seconds more before she gets off the phone. I meet Emily in my room. She already had a couple of outfits laid out in bed. She wore a thinking face as though it were really that difficult to pick an outfit.

“You should go with the one in the middle.” I say, closing the door behind me. Emily’s head snaps to my direction.

“You think?” I nod.

She takes the other outfits back to my closet. She showers and calls me into my closet to help her get ready. I advise her to go for a natural makeup. Hasan might be an arse, but he didn’t look like he would fancy girls with heavy make-up.

“What do you think?” Emily asks, standing from the vanity. She does a three-sixty, showing off her dress. She went in with my advice. An off-shoulder dark blue gown that ends a few inches above her knees. Emily is blessed with the perfect figure and curves in the right places. It’s understandable why Hasan would pursue her.

“I could get on my knees right now and ask you to marry me.” Simply saying she looked beautiful didn’t cut it. Emily was beautiful.

“I hope Hasan likes my outfit.” She says.

My mood instantly changes. “He better.”

Weirdly enough, I haven’t crossed paths with Hasan since I came home. Perhaps he was with Dave getting ready for the date as well, if at all he wanted to put in effort. I help Emily downstairs in the foyer to take pictures.

While I am taking pictures of Emily, a limousine pulls up in our driveway. I frown. We were rich, but not that rich. Emily hasn’t noticed the limousine because she is backing the door. But she stops to follow my gaze when I stop taking pictures of her.

The driver gets out of the car and goes to open the door. Hasan steps out of the car in a suit. And oh-my-fucking-god, does he look good? He murmurs something to the driver before burning up his suit. He approaches us with a smile that made my senses go haywire.

I view everything in slow, like a scene from a Hallmark holiday romance where the female lead lays on the male lead for the first time. Hasan is handsome, and at this point, covers of magazines seem like a downgrade for how beautiful he looks. A museum would be more suitable for his beauty.

“Oh my God.” Emily’s mouth is on the floor, as is mine.

“Yeah, I feel you.” I say absent-mindedly. Hasan stands before us. I couldn’t perceive his signature cologne, but the cologne he wore suited him nonetheless. He smells manly and exotic and delicious.

“You’re beautiful, Emily.” He says. He leans in like a gentleman and kisses Emily’s cheeks. Just like me, Emily is astounded, because since when did Asshole Hasan become a gentleman?

Emily turns to me with a surprised look as though saying, ‘Is he for real?’. I make a face with her, and she turns to my waiting brother. “You clean up nice.” She tells him.

“Thanks. I tried to look good for you.” He says in a gentle and smooth tone. I am not aware that I am gritting my teeth until Hasan calls me out provocatively. No matter how good he cleans, there’s just that schmuck side to Hasan that never fully disappears.

I roll my eyes upwards. “Take care of her.” I warn, sticking out my finger. Hasan gives me a look that says he will do more than just take care of her. His hand is on Emily’s lower waist as he leads her to the limousine.

I watch as he opens the door for Emily. He gives me a salute as he jogs to his side. The car peels off the driveway, and I take it as my sign to head inside and stuff my face with junk food and dream over a boy I could never have.

Just as I make it to the kitchen, my phone pings. It’s Hasan. I furrow my brows. He has never sent me a message before.

His message was straightforward.

‘I wish it were you.’

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