05

CHAPTERS 05

I automatically freeze in place and Darius’ front collides with my naked butt.

I scream and jump aside, covering my breasts with my hands.

He watches me shamelessly, as if it is the most normal thing in the world.

« You have the most amazing body, » he says lustfully.

My nipples harden without notice and I feel wetness between my crotch. « Could you not look at me ? » I try to sound enraged, but it comes off more like a plea. If I am truthful, his compliment only made me feel desirable and horny. But I would never admit that to him.

He smirks. « I’m afraid I can’t not look at you, even if I wanted to. »

« You are a pig ! » I say.

« I am no pig. I am a wolf. One that you are dying to kiss. »

My lips part without my consent and I am utterly unable to pretend I am angry anymore.

« Could you at least be a gentleman and go grab a piece of fabric for me ? »

He checks out my body one last time before he nods and looks me in the eye. « I can do anything and everything you want me to, » he gently takes one of my hands to lay a gentle kiss on it, « Lila. »

And then he leaves. And leaves me even more excited after that comment spoken in the world’s sexiest voice.

« You did this on purpose, » I say the moment we enter my father’s office, even though I know he couldn’t have known.

My Dad swiftly looks at me. « Did what ? »

« Threw a huge party hoping I would find my mate somewhere in the crowd and stay, » I close the door behind us.

« Lily… Why do you always have to blame me ? Never in my wildest dreams-«

« Oh, spare me, » I cut him off. I know he must be bursting with excitement. « Don’t insult my intelligence by pretending you aren’t happy with the turn of events. »

He is silent at first, brooding. Then he speaks. « You’re right about me wishing to have you here. But I am not lying when I say I did not expect this. Of all the people… » he sits in his chair, worried, « why did it have to be him ? »

I shoot him with a stare. « Why do you say that ? What’s wrong with him ? » If my father is displeased about this situation, then there’s definitely something wrong.

« It’s just that…he’s a Carter. Their Alpha even. You know how they are… »

« No. »

I’m not kidding. I’ve been out of this place for years and even before I was never interested in gossip. I always knew I would leave before following an Alpha.

My dad shakes his head, lifting his gaze off the floor. « Well, you know Darius is too young to be an alpha by heritage. »

My forehead crinkles. I don’t have patience for this tip toeing. « Give it to me straight. »

« He killed the previous Alpha, Lily. His uncle. That’s how he assumed the position. »

Shit.

I forgot the Carter pack still functions like in the old age – allowing Alphas to be challenged for their position at any time.

How awful. Being constantly in fear of your own pack members. Only he doesn’t seem to be a tad afraid.

« Wait, » I just realize something, « had I won the fight… I would have become the Carter leader. »

My dad chuckles. « Only if you had murderer Darius. Given he’s your mate…that seems unlikely. And you already are their Luna. »

Not by merit, though. By ‘marriage’. And I know how dominating Alphas can be. If he murdered his own uncle to rule, I doubt he’s all about equality and sharing.

I shake my head. « I can’t do this, » and collapse onto his couch. « You know I can’t better than most. »

« Listen, » he puts a hand over my shoulder. « You can’t escape who you are. Human life will never be enough. I saw you on that field – you still have the same problem, Lily. »

I frown. « He attacked Ian, dad. »

He almost laughs. « That’s not why you provoked him. And why you fought him even after Ian was left alone. » He raises an eyebrow. « You wanted to prove you were better. I know I wasn’t a stellar dad, but I know this much. Ever since you were a little girl, you challenged those kids who had a better title. You can’t accept being a subordinate. »

« No, » I cut him off, « the thing I can’t accept is that I have my life cut out for me ! I didn’t need this, dad ! I had my life planned out. Ok ? I still do ! »

« That doesn’t matter, God dammit ! » he demands now. « Mate bonds can’t be broken, forgotten or ignored. It’s bigger than you, me, and everyone combined. »

« Ian, dad. You’re forgetting about Ian. »

« Forget about Ian, » he urges. « Say farewell to the boy while you still have a clean slate. »

« There’s nothing clean about our slate, dad. Five years ! »

« That’s nothing ! » He shouts. « You aren’t married, you don’t have kids ! There’s no family you’re gonna break ! »

« He is family to me ! Better than you ever were. » I bite my tongue. That was fair, but I didn’t mean to say it. I can’t blame him for a few years of heavy drinking after losing his wife mate.

« You don’t know what happened, Lily, » he swallows hard. « I tried my best, but… It took time for me to gather the strength to move on. »

Don’t I count ? No one asked me if a little girl needed some time off to dwell. Instead, I had to play Mom to three little J’s.

« Even if there was no Ian, » I change the topic, « I still wouldn’t want to stay. »

« Of course not, » he mumbles.

« Why don’t you just say what you mean ? » I’ve had it with his pricky comments.

« Darius scares you. »

« Bullshit. I am not ‘pack material’. »