Chapter Ten

Things were finally starting to feel somewhat normal for London as she adjusted to her new life in California. She was doing everything in her power to keep herself busy, trying not to dwell on the dark thoughts that would always cloud her mind. She stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner as she waited for her husband and daughter to return. Izaiah and Ava spent the day at the vet, due to ice not being his usual self. She sliced up the potatoes as she stood in front the nice marble counter. She still had to get used to everything, and although some days felt more overwhelming than others, she was handling it, or at least she thought she was.

Imagine being shot on your wedding night, losing your unborn child and then being held against for will for a whole year. London was exposed to a new world of things. She was physically, verbally and mentally assaulted each day she was there. The only thing that kept her sane, was thinking about her wonderful family. She wouldn't admit it, but she almost thought about committing suicide. “Baby, you in here?" Izaiah's husky voice rang out through the house as she heard barking. “Yeah, I'm in here." She called out from the kitchen.

Minutes later, Izaiah's presence greeted her in the kitchen, along with Ava and ice behind him. “What did the vet say?" She questioned, taking the baked chicken out the oven. “Ain't nothing wrong with him. He just gotta take some antibiotics she prescribed." He told his wife, placing kisses in her neck. Izaiah felt at peace having his wife back. Even though he kept it together without her for a whole year, he to, had days where he just felt like giving up. But now that he had her back, there was no letting go.  “See, Ava I told you ice was going to be just fine." London told her daughter as she sat on the floor cuddling the dog, who was still showing a lack of energy.

"Okay, mommy." Ava said with sadness printed out in her eyes. Her attachment to the dog was real, the dog was practically Ava's best friend. London finished dinner about 30 minutes later, placing all the foods down the table. Baked chicken and potatoes, with yellow rice is what was served tonight.

“How was your day, baby?" Izaiah questioned, cutting into his steamy chicken. “It was nice. Had some time to myself." She slightly smiled. Izaiah knew deep down, she wasn't fine. Hell, he knew his wife like the back of his hand. But he wanted her to come to him. He didn't want to pressure her, that stress wasn't needed. “That's good." He looked at her, observing her body language.

After everyone finished dinner, London took Ava upstairs to run her a bath. She watched as her daughter sat in the water, loving the bath bomb that was dropped inside. “Mommy, are you sad?" Ava's innocent voice questioned as she looked into her mothers eyes. “No, baby." She smiled, brushing Ava's now curly hair behind her ear. "Mommy is alright." Not long after, Ava was fully dressed in her favorite princess pajamas. London loved the fact that she was now able to do small things like this. The love she has for her daughter, is beyond what one can imagine. She read Ava a bed time story, within minutes she was fast asleep. London placed a kiss on her cheek after pulling the blankets over her small body.

She wasted no time taking a hot shower. Her mind felt at ease when in the shower, so she did it almost three times a day. But tonight, her husband joined her. “Yo ass was taking so long, I thought I'd join you." He smiled, closing the glass door behind him.

The scar under her boob caught his attention and he couldn't help but to stare at it, causing her to feel uncomfortable. “I know, it's so ugly." She spoke, washing her body off. “It not your fault, you know that right?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows.

“Yup. I know." She shrugged, getting ready to leave the shower but he stopped her.

"I know it's hard, but can you please talk to me babe? I feel like there's so much shit on yo' mind. I'm here to be yo' support, allow me to support you." Izaiah stressed. “I'm fine Izaiah, really." She told him, hopping out. London lowkey blamed Izaiah for the situation. She wished he would of just been straight forward about him and Tiffany, everything could have been handled differently. And who knows, maybe she would still be alive. Either way she didn't deserve to be met with a bullet on her wedding night. And that innocent baby she once carried in her stomach, her or she didn't deserve any of this. She fought the tears that so badly wanted to escape from her eyes. She learned how to numb her pain, now she was so damn good at it. She was living a lie and didn't see it at all.

"If you won't talk to me, at least talk to-" Izaiah tried to finish his sentence, but his wife shut him right down. “Don't. I'm fine. I can't stress that enough, so please don't tell me to talk to your therapist." She told him with attitude in her voice. “You need to talk to somebody." He spoke. “Can nothing or nobody fix what I've had to endure this past year, not a damn thing. Let it go." She told him, making her point that she wasn't feeling this conversation, clear. “Don't be a hypocrite." He stated, pulling his Nike shorts to his waist. “How am I being a hypocrite?" London questioned, snapping her head in his direction. “I never said you was one, I'm saying don't be one." He shrugged.

"Sounds like you have some stuff on yo' chest, get it off..husband." She spoke, crossing her arms over her chest. “Look, this ain't going to be a argument, a'ight. I'm just saying, when I was distancing myself you suggested I get help." He told her. “I'm not distancing myself, and with all due respect, you were the one who chose to see a therapist." She told him, giving him the raw truth. “I'm done with this conversation. I see where it's going." He told her before grabbing his phone, leaving the room. The last thing either one of them thought about doing, was arguing. Izaiah just wanted his wife to communicate with him, but London wasn't up for talking to him, a therapist, nor anyone else.

   I want to talk to you again, just like old times