Chapter 4 SILENCED - 003

BONNIE

ALVAREZ

I got crystallized. Just laid down again but in a different place; a place where I didn't belong. Feeling despair and depression, I tried to get free from the tight hospital bed clasps they trapped me in but just like my death wish, it didn't come true.

It was just like my fate embraced me, tried to bring me back and whispered denial nothings into my ear.

My eyes were soulless when they looked at the group of nurses that giggled and whispered amongst themselves in front of the door to my death. My eyes took in the way their eyes lightened up as they feverishly gossiped and fanned themselves with blind date posters.

I could never imagine myself as normal as them. I never even wanted to live in the first place so I struggled some more against the harsh clasps of my humanity.

I never wanted to die so bad as much as this moment.

Playing back the memories, I was the dream girl for everyone. I was filled with life, I had a nice boyfriend to come back to, a family to love and a home I adored where I used to feel complete with everyone around me. I had everything people wished for, I had wealth and passion. With bouncy curls and eyes that could make anyone lust after me, I was in the peaceful haven phase until the other phase happened, the obsidian phase, where once upon a time, I barged in the room to find my two brothers afloat with a rope so tight around their necks and dangling hands.

My life wasn't the same since then. Since my brothers, people started to talk and rumors started to spread that we were cultivated into the land of dark sorcery ruled by Satanism when it was only the case of incest love. People tend to maximize things just for the love of it, they gossiped just because they didn't have something to be excited about except talking about my family.

I was glad that the horror-stricken nurse came back, I was brought back into my unwelcomed reality as she closed the door and approached me.

"How-How-" she coughed to get rid of her anxiety and continued, "How are you feeling now?"

"Same as your bruises," I snapped at her with a smile at the flashy red nail marks I left on her upper arm down to her wrist. "Look at just how awesome they are." I smiled widely as she tumbled back and squeaked when she tripped backward in terror.

"Not so brave, are you?" my gravelly voice asked the fearful nurse. "I won't come back here if you let me go," I ordered when the clasps reminded me of how furious I was with her.

Her Emerald eyes tried to show bravery but she was just a weak cause lost in between the talk of the nurses. I could tell she was in her mid-twenties because she didn't seem to that much experience with the likes of me.

"No, I won't free you." she composed herself when she stood up with her hilarious parade of strength.

I shook my hands under the clasps as I tried to get rid of them. The angry flesh tears reddened some more as I tried to push with all my might. She just stared at me.

"What the hell are you staring at?" I hollered as my veins throbbed with the anger that I felt about not having my death wish. "Go away right now. I promise you when I'm free again, I will castrate you that the pieces of your body never find themselves again!" I screamed as more nurses barged in.

Life was definitely not my specialty.

My eyes fluttered open when the sunrise made my blue eyes stand out like diamonds. I didn't ask how was my body feeling nor how I felt. I knew I was better off dead, alone and I would find self-peace underground.

I wasn't looking forward to staying here at all, the sick white walls wailed agonizingly around me or maybe it was the aftermath of the multiple injections that drowned my body in anesthesia. I was hopeless when my hands tried to squirm out of the class, I wanted out so I opted for the best option.

"Anyone out there? I need help!" my scratchy voice resonated through the walls. I satisfyingly heard one of the nurses that were here before emerge back into the room.

"Bonnie, it's great to see you so calm after the fiasco that you just pulled off yesterday." she smiled in honesty, which was something I despised, and told me. It was sick how others had high hopes of me yet somewhere inside of them, they knew there was no soulful resurrection that could bring me back from my insatiable darkness.

I tried to smile at her just for the sake of my plan but my smile turned into a grimace. "I need to go to the bathroom. Please," I begged with a fake sad face. "I haven't peed since yesterday and I know that a hospital bed costs a lot so please help me go to the bathroom." I innocently pleaded some more until her face contorted into confusion.

I could tell that I broke her walls once she solemnly nodded and untied my clasps. Dancing in victorious glee inside my head, I still remained with a sad face as her hands helped me to stand up.

The sweat reeked out of me since yesterday in the hospital gown and my legs cramped when I tried to walk due to the long period of not walking around. Stupid nurses keeping me here for a whole day. I thought as the birds chirped out of the window signaling the bright and early morning.

My hair was filled with grass because I wouldn't let the nurse touch my hair. I carefully stepped as she handled my arm, it was like my whole body was asleep.

She kicked the hospital bathroom door open and once I stepped in, I slapped a hand over her mouth and closed the door with my back.

She tried to struggle but my hold on her was fatal. I squeezed my right arm across her neck to suffocate her. I was no killer but it was just a temporary thing.

Not a killer yet.