02

Fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty … When I applied to college, no one told me school would be the easy part. It’s the debt that’s hard. My parent’s income was too high to qualify for financial aid, which is honestly hilarious. I was born with money, I had a fucking trust fund – but financial statements don’t show what my parents did. They don’t show what was really stolen from me.

Out of all the things I’ve lost, my body will always be mine. That means it’s mine to use in whichever way I see fit. Sure, I fuck a lot of random people and pretend it’s therapy, but that’s because I want to. What Remy doesn’t get is that I don’t have a problem fucking for money, it’s that I’d have a problem doing it for him.

I need to be able to make a life for myself, by myself, and right now school is my best way to do that. I know Remy can take care of me with his high-end real estate money, but that’s not what I want. I have been dependent on people my whole life, and if I’ve learned anything in my twenty years, it’s that everyone is waiting for an opportunity to fuck you.

People either fuck you, fuck you over, or fuck you up. That’s just how it is.

He may be the only human in the world that I trust, but the closer he is to my finances, the closer he is to finding out about my dirty little secret. I’m not going to let him have a reason to leave me too.

« And he was with that bitch again last week, » Jessie whines. I completely forgot she was talking. Relationship drama is low on the list of bullshit I let occupy my mind. « I told him if I saw them together again I was gone. » She trims her tampon string and pulls her thong back up. « So, I think we’re over for sure this time. » She’s said this at least twice.

« Oh yeah ? » I ask as if I have been listening or care.

« Yeah, he can’t expect me to fuck him and not get mad when he fucks someone else. He said he loved me last week, so that means he should want to –« 

« Shit ! » I accidentally interrupt her. My counting stopped at 257. My entire pile of money consisted of ones and fives. What cheap-ass bastards did they bring in tonight ?

« Bad night ? » Jessie asks with about as much interest as I showed her.

« Bad week. » My rent is due next weekend, and I’m behind by more than half. Funny how this keeps happening. « Fuck ! » I glance over at her and find her looking quite unamused. « Oh, and uh … sorry about your boyfriend, girlie. That’s … » I try to think of a word. « Oof ! »

Jessie looks at me blankly then walks away without another word. I’m not completely sure what I did wrong, but I’m also not sure if I care.

I grab my phone from the vanity and text Remy.

Me : when is ur

Next party ?

Remy : This weekend

Me : what do u

Want me 2 do ?

Remy : Dildo show ?

Me : r u asking

Or telling ?

Remy : Asking ?

I snort with my laughter.

Me : How much ?

Remy : How much

Do you need hon ?

As much as I wish I didn’t need him, he’s the best big brother I was never born with. He already saved me twice. He should never have to save me again, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

Me : I’m in

I press the call button for Remy’s apartment and pull on the belt of my jacket. « Come on up, babe, » his voice sounds directly before the annoying buzz. I push the door open and make my way inside.

My heels click against the porcelain floors of the lobby as I walk to the elevator. I press the button and glance at my reflection in the mirrored doors to check my face. My eyeliner and mascara are still in place, as well as my lips. This shade of mahogany works well with my newly paled complexion. Moving from one desert to another, I expected to keep my tan, but no such luck. Now, I have plain, pale skin, plain, brown hair, and plain, gray eyes. I look so fucking average until I’m naked.

The doors open, interrupting my moment of self-deprecation. I walk inside and press the button for the penthouse, not quite knowing what to expect when I get there. Remy is a kinky sonofabi—no, that’s not nice, she’s wonderful. What I mean is that he’s into a lot of things that would make his tiny, Catholic mother have a conniption. I really, really don’t miss living with him.

When the elevator opens again, I see the door to the apartment is propped open. Inside, a few couples walk around with drinks in hand, perusing the artistic scenery in the minimalistic space. Moving a few steps towards the party, I take in the rest.

Two girls kiss on a couch near the entrance. A man gives head to another in a chair towards the back. Other women stroll around the space offering drinks and wearing black lingerie that contrasts the white floors and walls of the pristine penthouse. All of that is the hired entertainment. The rest of the people in the thin crowd are guests.

« Hey ! » Remy greets me.

« Hey, » I say back. He leans in and kisses my cheek. « Where do you need me ? »

« I could use your help overseeing the bar if you don’t mind. »

« And for my little show ? »

He grins. « We’ll have you on the bed in the back, » he points to an expensive-looking chaise sitting near the floor-to-ceiling windows, « after everyone is feeling warm and fuzzy. » He steps behind me and starts tugs at the shoulders of my jacket.

I untie the waist and let him slide it from my arms. « Will you be leading the fun ? »

He laughs. « No, it’s not my type of kink tonight. I’ll just be monitoring. »

I shiver as my skin acclimates to the temperature of the apartment. « Do you not have a full-time … sub thing, or whatever ? »

« No, I’m between sub things right now, » he mocks me jokingly. He folds my coat over his arm. « I’ve had a little problem with clingers lately. They take my perfect ten, but they don’t seem to want to give it back, » he humbly brags.

« You’re disgusting, » I tell him and he laughs. « And where is my little friend ? Hopefully he’s a little closer to an eight. »

He chuckles. « There are a few selections on my bed. I’ll give you the keys later and you can go fuck yourself, » he says with a smirk. He thinks his jokes are funny.

« You treat me so well. »

« And don’t you forget it, » he says.

♡♡♡

The crowd grew significantly over the past two hours. I took turns with Remy, watching the guests with their drinks, making sure no special ingredients were added without consent. The crowd seemed settled and warm, some guests mingling with more than just the hired entertainment, others trading partners on the couches, partaking in what Remy referred to as « approved public activities », though I preferred to call them fellatio and cunnilingus.

It’s just fun to say. Cunnilingus. It sounds like a sexy philosopher.

I slide my panties off and sit on the bed. Opening my legs wide, I relax back onto my elbow, displaying myself for anyone willing to look. A few guests immediately show interest. When I pull out the flexible, purple dildo, more attention comes my way.