05

« Right, » Brax said as he awkwardly glanced back and forth between me and Rachel. He mustered a nervous smile. « Uh, I guess I’ll see you guys around. Enjoy your birthday. »

« Bye, fuckboy, » Rachel muttered under her breath with a giggle.

I raised a brow because it’s been almost a year since I’ve heard Rachel say something dirty. She’d somehow decided that it didn’t go with her new prissy image.

« Are you already drunk, Rach ? » Sidney asked with a laugh, realizing the same thing I did. « You haven’t been drunk in a bazillion years. »

Rachel flashed a sheepish grin. « I’ve been drunk several times. Just in secret. It’s too good to give up. »

« I’m no expert but that’s probably not something you should keep from your future husband, » I said, glancing around. « Speaking of which, where’s Stellan ? Thought you were both making an appearance. »

While the two were attached at the hip at practically every social event since they got together almost exactly a year ago, after meeting at my birthday party, Stellan rarely showed up with Rachel to anything I was at. I never said anything but Rachel apologized to me once early on saying that Stellan wasn’t really a fan of my kind of scene. That he would often tell her not to go and they would fight about it because she really wanted to be there for me (or at least for my guests that she was interested in meeting).

I knew he didn’t have the highest opinion of me but still, it had stung.

It’s for the best.

That’s no lie.

Whenever he was around, I could not relax.

More like, I WOULD not relax.

Because around him, unfortunately, I have to be constantly on guard.

He’s the only one who doesn’t make me comfortable in my own skin and I don’t like it.

« Rachel. Hey, » I prompted when she didn’t answer. I watched her take her sweet time beckoning a server over and ordering a cocktail.

Leaving her sunglasses on, she dropped her bag on the floor and sank deeper into the seat, stretching her overly fake-tanned legs and crossing them at the ankles. She looked like she always did these days—dressed expensively in a designer outfit, her dark hair set in perfect Kate Middleton waves, her make-up never straying from neutrals. She was going for the polished billionaire wife look although in my opinion, she often looked more like a headmistress at an overpriced boarding school. But hey, that’s what Stellan Cartwright must’ve ordered for a wife.

« Stellan’s at home, » she finally answered. « At least that’s where I left him. He might go out drinking with his friends. Or, knowing him, he probably won’t. He barely drinks even when the occasion calls for it. »

Something felt off and I glanced at Sidney who was already looking at me with a frown.

« Did you guys have a fight or something ? » Sidney asked slowly although not so innocently.

Rachel didn’t answer right away again. Just studied her nails as if she could see shit in this lighting and in those sunglasses.

I snapped my fingers at the people huddled in a nearby corner of our space who were doing a combination of dancing, drinking, talking and making out. Not exactly friends but just some people I knew who’d hang around when we were out and about town. I wasn’t feeling chatty tonight so they’d given me some space.

« You. Out. Right now, » I said, gesturing to the exit. « Come back in half an hour. »

« Ah, Kady, » Fitz, one of the guys in the group, mused out loud even as he got up to his feet. « At twenty-two, you’re not only older and wiser. You’re also ruder. »

« Dealing with it builds your character so you’re welcome, » I retorted. « Now, go. »

I waited not so patiently while everyone grudgingly filed out and left the three of us alone. Just then, the server appeared with Rachel’s drink so we had to wait for that too.

« Rachel. Everyone’s gone. Tell us, » I prompted her again.

She took a long sip of her drink and I nearly hurled my shoe at her.

« You’re so fucking bossy, you know that ? » she whined, finally taking her glasses off.

« I’m only interested in things I don’t already know, » I told her irritably. « Get to the point before I get wrinkles in my vagina. »

Sidney choked on his drink. « Jesus, Kady. I may not be into vaginas but I don’t need that kind of visual. »

« I’ll stop when Rachel spares us the dramatic intro, » I said.

« Fine, fine ! » Rachel sputtered—dramatically, I might add. She let out a long sigh and leaned forward, a strip of light exposing her face. I could see her bloodshot eyes and the smudged mascara around them.

I tensed, my skin prickling all over. « Did he hurt you ? »

« What ? » Rachel asked in confusion. Then she snorted and shook her head. « Oh, no. Come on. This is Stellan we’re talking about. He won’t even hurt a fly. »

« But you cried, » I pointed out, aware that I sounded stupid.

Crying didn’t automatically equate to abuse but in the year since Rachel started dating Stellan, I haven’t seen her cry once. Or learn that they’d fought. They always seemed so perfectly in love. At least that was how it sounded coming from Rachel.

« Well, yeah. I felt bad, » she answered before giggling. Drunk giggling annoyed the hell out of me. « Or at least I wanted him to think I felt bad. I kinda do, though. I do, a little, because he’s a really nice guy. But just too nice, you know ? I just can’t. »

The oxygen in my lungs thinned. « Rachel. What exactly did you do ? »

« Dumped him, » she answered before tossing back the rest of her drink. « Loved the life. Loved the luxury. Even loved him too, you know ? But I couldn’t. Now that—I just couldn’t. »

I tried to keep my jaw locked together so it didn’t hit the floor.

Rachel dumped Stellan.

Why ???

« What do you mean you couldn’t ? » Sidney asked. « Like you can’t live the kind of life that comes with marrying him ? »

« I can, » she said, rolling her eyes. « Truth is, that’s the only fun part. If I’m just with Stellan, it can get… you know. »

« No, we don’t know which is why we’re asking, » I snapped, feeling more high-strung by the second.

« It can get boring ! There, I said it ! » she spat out angrily. « He’s a great guy. A nice guy. He does everything I ask. And he’s surprisingly good in bed. But he’s not exciting ! »

I swear you can hear the imaginary crickets over the loud dance music playing in the background.

Stellan. Not exciting.