04: The Ball Is In Her Court

Ezra’s Point Of View.

“HEY, are you okay?”

I gasped when Kiana asked that on the other line. Silence filled the call for the next five minutes. The only noise I could hear was the sound of my constant breathing.

How can I respond to a question I don’t know the answer to?

I’ve been imprisoning myself inside the guest room for several days. Ever since the day I found out about their real identities, I haven’t been out of the room yet.

The six always bring me food as their compensation, except for Hyde. I was moved. I didn’t stay stubborn, of course. I eat what they give me because they make an effort to cook for me even though they don’t know how to cook.

When they do that, I feel nothing but guilt. I don’t think they have to apologize to me or even explain their side. I’m nobody to them. I have no say about their personal lives, and it’s not like they have done wrong to me.

The truth is I’m not mad at them, even after I found out that they are bad boys.

So what if they are? Whatever or who they are, I don’t think I have the right to judge them. What I see and what I feel is what I believe. The only reason I didn’t talk to them was because I was thinking about Hyde’s question to me.

“After everything you knew and heard about us, do you want to leave us now?”

To this day, his sentimental words replayed inside my head over and over again like a broken plaque. I couldn’t sleep for days because of that. Because I don’t know what decision to make.

Where do I belong?

To the safer or to the more dangerous? To go home and continue the marriage or to stay with these bad boys who fight almost every day and have lots of enemies?

I’m devastated. I can’t choose. But even if they told me that they are bad boys, a part of me didn’t actually believe it. If that was true, then they shouldn’t have let me stay here in the first place. If they can really do such a thing, then I wouldn’t have felt comfortable whenever I’m with them.

“Ezra? Are you there?”

I snapped back to reality when I heard my best friend speak for the nth time. I shook my head to forget everything that was bothering me lately.

“Uh… yeah.”

“Tell me, what’s the problem? I’ve been asking you since earlier, but you never responded. Why are you drowned by your own thoughts?”

Oh, crap. I remember Kiana didn’t know about the revelation yet. I don’t have plans to tell her anyway, for sure she will just make me come back home.

“Maybe I just lack sleep,” I replied.

“Hey, Ezra! Report to me when they do something bad to you! Even though they are handsome, I won’t let them hurt you!”

“You’re at it again. Stop it, Kiana. They aren’t doing anything bad to me,” I said, laughing. “I’m lacking of sleep because—”

I immediately shut my mouth. I shouldn’t tell Kiana about this. I know we’re best friends and we swore not to keep secrets to each other but I needed to. I don’t want to put her into trouble.

“Because of what?”

“What was it again? Oh, my bad. My signal is weak. I can’t hear you well, Kiana.” I pretended to stop speaking in the middle of every word I said to get a chance to change the topic of our conversation. “By the way, how are you?”

“Well, the usual. Sometimes, I visit your house to catch up on the news.”

“So, what’s the news I have to hear?”

“Your Mom continues to look for you,” she added. “So please, don’t come out of your hideout, okay? Be extra careful.”

I took a deep breath. I don’t even know if I want to leave this house as well as the boys, or if I want to stay.

“Got it,” I just said and then ended the call.

I laid down on the bed and rolled over. I think I’m about to go insane. I was just stunned when I heard a sudden knock on the door and Iñigo entered.

“U-Uh, Ezra… Won’t you join us for lunch?” He asked.

He must have seen me acting crazy. I bit my lower lip in embarrassment. Although instead of being ashamed, I took courage to maintain a poker face and answer him with a steady tone.

“I will.”

The shock on his face was obvious. Maybe he never thought I’d agree with him since I didn’t eat with them the past few days.

“Do you have anything more to say?” I raised an eyebrow, intimidating him.

He immediately shook his head. “W-We’ll just wait for you at the dining area,” he said before leaving the room.

I saw his secret little smile. He must be happy because I’m now talking to him. How can I get mad at them if they are soft when it comes to me?

I headed straight to the dining area after getting ready to face them as if I have never seen them for years. They were stunned because I escaped from my own prison at last. I glanced at Hyde whom I caught staring at me. I cleared my throat as I avoided his look and sat down.

I was uneasy when I noticed that I was at the center and they hadn’t eaten their food yet because their eyes were all fixated on me.

“Why are you all looking at me?” I asked, conscious about myself.

It looks like they have seen a ghost or a dead person that comes back alive. They immediately averted their eyes and started eating.

The surroundings became silent. No one of us tried to speak or initiate a conversation to lift up the mood. I’m not used to these idiots being quiet. I miss the noises and silliness.

When I finished eating, without a single word, I volunteered to wash the dishes. It’s embarrassing to them that I’m not doing any chores in this house when I begged them to let me live with them for a short span of time. I have to save my face at least.

I was on my way back to the guest room when I felt someone watching me as I entered, but I didn’t pay attention to that anymore. The six lost their chance to talk to me when I got inside. I closed the door and was about to lie down on the bed when I heard them talk.

“Do you think Ezra is still mad at us?” Clarence asked sadly.

“Don’t you see? She’s ignoring us because she hates us,” Jeremy replied.

“She talked to me earlier!” Iñigo reacted.

“You shouldn’t have told her about our gangs,” Axle said.

“To tell her the truth is the right thing to do. Besides, she has to know who we really are. We can’t always hide it from her anyway,” Xavier lectured them.

“Let’s just continue coaxing her until she talks to us again. This is our fault, so let’s not give up,” Joaquin suggested to whom they all agreed.

Honestly, I felt touched because they value me. Even though we had only been together for a month, they treated me differently. They aren’t bad boys to me. They are too delicate.

BECAUSE I was awake for about a week, I slept all day. I just woke up when there was a knock on the door. I stood up to see who it was.

“Did I interrupt your sleep?” Clarence asked as I opened the door.

“No, not really,” I lied. “Why? Do you need something from me?”

“A-Are you in for a movie marathon?” He stammered in nervousness while asking me to watch a movie with them.

“All right,” I simply agreed.

“Come on!” he said excitedly.

WE WENT to the living room together. The five other men were there, sitting on the sofa and chit-chatting, but to my surprise, Hyde was nowhere to be seen.

Why am I even looking for that man?

I sat down between them and grabbed snacks that Axle handed me. Zombie is the film we watched.

THE SHOW ended but I still couldn’t get a glimpse of Hyde. I don’t know whether he’s inside his room or he’s out somewhere.

Where else did he go?

I turned to Clarence who was beside me and poked his shoulder. His forehead furrowed when I motioned him to come closer.

“Where is Hyde?” I whispered to him.

I don’t know if the reason for his smile is because I’m already talking to him or he’s teasing me for mentioning Hyde to him out of nowhere.

“You’re not mad at us anymore?” he asked in a melodious voice.

“Where is–”

I tried to amend the conversation but I didn’t finish what I was going to say when Clarence cut it off.

“I won’t answer your question until you answer mine.”

I rolled my eyes and heaved a drained gasp. I’m not going to win with this kid. He’s too persistent.

“Fine. I’m not mad at you, not at all,” I was forced to answer.

I froze on my seat when he hugged me tight all of a sudden and summoned the five other crackheads.

“Bros, Ezra isn’t mad at us!” he shouted to them and because of that, they smiled as well. “Group hug!”

Oh, no!

I was about to stand up and leave before the disaster, but they ran fast towards me and compressed.

“G-Guys, enough! I-I can’t breathe anymore,” I said with difficulty.

“We’re just happy.”

They smiled at me as they let go from the hug. I can feel my arms aching because they are too heavy.

“Back to my question, where’s Hyde?” I asked again while fixing my messed up hair.

They all looked at each other and simultaneously shrugged their shoulders in response. I glared at them. So they didn’t know where he was?

“I’ll look for him first.”

***

I HAD already started looking for Hyde in every corner of the house. I don’t think he’s wandering around. He is always at home except when they have a fight with other gangsters.

He wasn’t in the living room. He wasn’t in the kitchen either. He wasn’t in the washroom, not in the bedroom, not even in the garden nor garage area. There’s only one place I haven’t been to yet, the pool area. I wish he was there. I want to talk to him.

I headed to the pool and I wasn’t even wrong because he was there. I was surprised to see him drinking alcohol for the first time. I inhaled and exhaled deeply before daring to approach him.

“Why are you here?” he asked lifelessly.

How did he notice I was there the whole time?

I sat down on the bench in front of him. He continued drinking the bottle he was holding while facing the view of the swimming pool. I stared at his side profile for a couple of seconds before responding. I now know the answer to his question. I am now ready to decide.

“I’m looking for you…”

“What do you need?”

“Last time, you asked me if I would leave you and the six after everything I found out about you,” I started, directing to the point.

“Then, what’s your answer? Are you going to leave? Will you choose to stay away from us?” he asked seriously.

“I decided to…” I paused for a minute and looked at his face. “Stay. I won’t leave just because you told me you are bad boys. Even if you told me you can kill, I don’t care. What I believe is just that, I know you all have a good heart. Because if what I believe is a lie, then you should’ve let me sleep outside that night when the rain was pouring heavily. You should’ve kicked me out of your house. You should’ve lied to me instead of telling me what worse you all could do and your honest personalities. I shouldn’t have felt happy and comfortable while I’m with the seven of you. I don’t want to go back to our house and force myself to get married with someone I don’t love, Hyde. So no, I won’t leave you. I’ll stay with the seven bad boys…”

He nodded and later on, he bowed his head. I don’t know if I was just hallucinating that I saw his lips curved into a smile or it was the reality. If he ever smiled, it was the first time. I can say he looks even more handsome when he’s smiling.

I pretended to focus my attention on other things when he turned to me. Those eyes of his, seem to indicate something. Those eyes of his that will make you melt in no time. Those eyes of his that once you adore, you will never be able to take your eyes off him. His eyes scream different emotions that he doesn’t show to anyone.

“Good, so you’re staying… Don’t you ever leave us.” He stared at my eyes intently as if he’s looking through my soul. “And don’t you ever leave me because I’ll make sure to find you wherever you go…”

I nodded at him and averted my eyes as a little smile escaped from my lips. I will try to keep my promise as long as I can.

I will never leave you…