8

"Okay, I'll stop horsing around," Nathalie said with a sigh before folding her hands in a way that didn't put force on her nails. "He's forty-five. You're nineteen. What kind of cocaine are you on to consider that? Also, you've also known him for a week. A week," she emphasized the last part by putting out seven fingers to show Darnell how short of a period a week was. Darnell curled back into his seat as he stared straight at her. He shrugged, hugging himself. He couldn't help it that he was a stupid romantic. Since the first time Darnell had sex with Jared, they'd slept together two more times. On Sunday, and on Wednesday when Jared had texted to ask if he was free. They talked, listened to videotapes and watched movies.

"You fall in love too fast," Nathalie said, poking his thought bubble.

"I said it's a crush," Darnell said as Nathalie waved her hand over her head.

"It's the same thing," she mumbled, getting up when her name was called. "I have to leave, it's my turn," she muttered, running her hand through Darnell's hair before walking through the crowd and up the stage. Darnell watched her, thinking of the short conversation they had just had. Nathalie was a comedy queen, but she could sing too, and soon the whole crowd was singing along to old-school drag music.

When Nathalie was done Darnell waited outside for her to change clothes. People kept leaving and entering through the main entrance, but when Nathalie walked out Darnell always knew it was her. She would converse with the bouncer in loud Spanish, drawing on the attention of everyone around. Darnell turned when he heard loud Spanish being exchanged between a female and a male voice. Of course, it was Nathalie. She was in black leggings and a loose red top now. Her dark brown hair was done up in a bun. She had taken off most of her makeup, but if there was something Nathalie was addicted to it was eyeliner, and she wore it everywhere — even when she was at home doing nothing. Nathalie talked with the man for a while before heading over to Darnell.

"I hope you didn't wait too long," she asked, and Darnell shrugged. It's gone, he said, adjusting the sleeves of the long sleeve shirt he was wearing. Nathalie told him about the discussions she had in the dressing room with the other queens, while Darnell just nodded his head as they both walked towards the bus stop. They didn't live far away. It was a little apartment on top of a convenience store. At first, Darnell had hated it. The store owner who was also their landlord was around a lot and always picking fights with Nathalie. Sometimes it was where she hung her clothes, who she let into the house, how they placed their floor mat — basically, anything he could turn into an argument and use as an excuse to yell at Nathalie. But on the bright side, as Nathalie rationalized it; when you're hungry and need canned soup late at night you wouldn't mind having a store just downstairs.

"Hey! Taxi!" Darnell blinked, noticing that Nathalie was now heading towards the cab that had stopped for them. He frowned, wondering how he had zoned out in the middle of the cold night with noisy cars trying to evade traffic.

"Come on!" Nathalie yelled at him, making Darnell muttered an apology before getting into the car. Most of the ride was quiet, but somewhere along the like Nathalie reached over to take a hold of Darnell's hand and give it a squeeze. Darnell looked over at her in the dark backseat as the occasional street light lit up her face as the cars passed by.

"Don't take what I said too seriously, che," she muttered reaching out to push the loose curls that were sitting on his forehead. "Just be careful," she said, leaning away from him before humming along to the song the driver had put on.

"Just be careful." Nathalie's words swarm around in Darnell's mind as he thought of Jared. Nathalie was right. He had a three-year contract with Jared, he didn't want to mess things up with his underdeveloped feelings that had surfaced in the span of a week. He needed the money for school, and he had to be useful in some way with rent so that he didn't feel like he was leeching off Nathalie.

He promised himself that he wouldn't get caught up in crushes. Most of his crushes were harmless — like the fling with the bartender, the thing with one of the bar's drag queens, the brief crush on the part-time worker downstairs in the convenience store. Darnell had as many crushes as a kid had spare change they collected for their piggy bank. This situation was different, though. One misstep could cost him a lot. He would just do what he was supposed to do and push his over romantic thoughts to the back of his mind. Like Nathalie said, Jared being a decent person was not enough to get him all worked up in his feelings.