Let Me Love You

It's been two days since Anurak arrived in Bangkok. He was holing up at his Aunt's house. Aunty Cahya was his mother's sister, and it wouldn't be his first time staying with them. When he was young, before his mother's death, he usually traveled down from 'Surin', his hometown, — to spend his holidays with them in Bangkok. But this time around, Anurak wasn't here to spend the holidays. He was here to stay for good.

Presently 17 years old and a proper adult, as he had pointed out to his unwilling father before he left home, Anurak got a half scholarship at Sunny University; a private school that costs an arm and a leg, — in the city of Bangkok. Half meant that for each semester, all he had to come up with was half the tuition fees for the next 4 years as an engineering student.

Against his father's will and with a spring in his steps, Anurak arrived in Bangkok. P'Eshin, his cousin, — took him around town, reintroducing him to the city and pointing out all the changes.

Indeed, Bangkok has changed. Many things still hold some nostalgic feelings, but the most memorable places have become too childish. His mature eyes now noticed things and places only 17-year-olds would care about; The theaters, the flashy restaurants he was sure his girlfriend would like, and beaches with couples with close to nothing on their bodies. Clubhouses. Flashy cars and well-studded dudes driving them.

Yes, clubhouses and their girls! Not that he was going to cheat and looking isn't a crime!

Anurak looked forward to spending a lot of time at bars and clubhouses. Before even knowing his schedule, he was already planning to invite his girlfriend over for his next birthday. He was going to hold a beach party that day and pull an all-night party at a fancy club. Best way to usher in adulthood!

Thanks to his father, these were things he never dared to dream about back at home. And to think that the old man was a gang member and known for his notoriety…

Anurak wished he had more time to explore Bangkok, but as it was, he didn't arrive on time and would be late for his registration if he took another day off.

“If you arrived as early as we planned, I would have taken you to all the places you wanted to see.” Eshin, a tall, handsome guy in his twenties, and Anurak's favorite cousin pointed out.

“I wanted to, but I had to accompany Sophea to her school and make sure she was well settled before I could leave.” Anurak signed regrettably.

“Loverboy. So gross.” Eshin jokingly scrunched up his face after seeing the dreamlike look in Anurak's eyes.

Sophea was Anurak's childhood best friend turned sweetheart. He was hoping they would attend this school together but unfortunately, she failed the scholarship's qualifying exams. The thought of staying so far apart was too painful for his soft heart. Therefore, he pushed it to the back of his mind.

“Will you be free on weekends?” Anurak asked.

“It depends. Why?”

“My birthday is in a few months. I need to pick a club for it.”

“What's your age again? Didn't you clock 18 a while ago?”

“*No. My birthday is in August. We are still in June.” Anurak scrunched up his delicate-looking face.

“Oh. So you are still 17.” Eshin smirked derisively.

“What's the difference? It's the year that matters, not the month. The moment we entered January, I clocked 18.” He said with defiance. “I am 18 as far as I am concerned,” Anurak concluded with a domineering tone that brooked no argument.

Eshin chuckled as he tapped the back of Anurak's head. The tap was forceful enough to make him shoot forward, but not enough to make him stumble.

To think that this boy made so much noise about being an adult the moment the new year was here, and now it's turning out that January wasn't even his birth month. Tsk tsk tsk.

“You are still 17. 17 years and 9 months old.” Eshin threw his hand out to hit Anurak again, but the boy dodged it.

“Hia!” Anurak cried out like a wronged child as he made his way to his Suzuki power bike that was parked beside a Toyota Yaris, In front of the Natakorn's duplex, located in a gated Estate in one of the quieter parts of Bangkok called 'Bangna.'

Of all the protective gear for bikers, the helmet was the only thing Anurak had yet to wear. Left to him, he wouldn't even bike with it. He usually got away with that back in Surin. But this is Bangkok, he heard that the cops here have no joy. Anurak begrudgingly thrust his small head into the helmet and fixed it up. He then jumped on his bike while Eshin entered his car. Once Eshin moved, he followed him.

As they drove side by side on the way to the Estate's main gate, Eshin called out to Anurak from inside his car, “Make sure to follow closely. I am almost late, and my friend is waiting.”

Anurak rolled his eyes and revved up his bike, drawing the attention of the pedestrians. “No matter how fast you want to go, I am up to it, Hia.” He said proudly.

Eshin shook his head with an amused smile on his face before turning his attention to the road.

He knew how much Anurak enjoyed speeding.

They were soon at the gate and from there, they hit the Bangkok Monday morning traffic, with Eshin leading and Anurak following.

20 minutes later, Anurak and Eshin turned into Sunny Street, which was off the main road, — and started approaching a gigantic, silver-coated gate at the end of the street. Leading up to this gate was a series of road bumps just like 20 meters from each other. The bumps started from the moment you turned into Sunny Street and continued until one entered the school compound. Because of this, Sunny Street was always a crawling zone. Therefore, they spent the same amount of time traveling down from Bangna, to arrive at the school gate.

When they got to the gate, Anurak for the second time found himself staring, etching every detail of it into his photogenic brain. The gate was a circular-shaped net of solid iron. In the middle of the circle was an intricate design of a yellow sunflower with all the petals and some bits of pores. It was so realistic that Anurak, who happened to like colors, couldn't help but be held in a daze each time he saw it. And today would be the second time. Anurak's fingers itched to draw this. He reminded himself again to find time to draw it…

The months after he got his acceptance letter, Anurak was very busy trying to gather money. His deadbeat father had promised never to have a hand in his education if he insisted on attending Sunny-Uni.

Because he loved working on cars and bikes, he spent all his waking moments at a car dealership, helping to either dismantle old cars or clean up newly brought-in, second-hand ones. Because his town was close to the Cambodian border, this kind of job was common. The pay wasn't great but the job was constant and he had no time to look for something better. Liking the job made things easy too.

I wonder if I can get that sort of job here. They said the pay is better in Bangkok. He muttered to himself as his bike got cleared and the sunflower gate broke into halves, making way for him to pass.

From the gate to the main building of the school was another journey of a few miles. There were recreational fields on both sides of the road and students could be seen, either jogging or playing. On the right side was a standard football pitch encased in a spherically shaped mini stadium. The field couldn't be seen from the car but the entrance of the stadium had a statue of a faceless person, spinning a football on his index finger while his other hand rested on his hips.

On the other side of the road was a set of outdoor game pitches. Long tennis, basketball, badminton, volleyball, and more. From the road, one wouldn't see much. Only the basketball court and long tennis pitches would catch one's eye.

Anurak knew there was more because he had been here once for an interview. After that interview, Eshin took him around the part of the school they could access. The pitches and the stadium were parts of the places opened to the public back then as the school wasn't in session.

At the end of the bumpy road was a big roundabout with a big sign board that welcomed visitors and provided them with details such as when the school was founded, the name of the founders, and a road map that helped navigate the major roads in the school compound. One could read the signboard clearly from a mile or two away, thanks to its backlight.

Behind the billboard was a statue of a large sunflower, but this time around, in the middle of the flower was an open book. On the opened book were miniature tools such as nails, hammers, injection syringes, measuring tape, and so on.

Within the roundabout monument, there was a traffic light pole that was servicing all four sides as the roundabout was tucked in the middle of a crossroad. Two roads, one on the right and the other on the left, — lead to the inner areas of the school. Places Anurak looked forward to seeing…

On the other side of the crossroad was another road that led to the only building he was allowed to enter on his last visit. This was the administrative building. It was very big and imposing with several floors walled in with tinted glass.

Eshin turned right and Anurak followed, thinking that they would cross to the other side and drive back to the Admin building, but when Eshin kept driving right, Anurak became excited. The Administration building wasn't their destination this time around.

I am a student now. I am allowed to go wherever I want.

*Phi/P': Senior. It could be male or female. It is added to show respect.

*Hia: An informal but endearing way of calling a senior brother.