3

Chapter Three

“I didn’t think it would be this hard to leave him.” Ben said this in an undertone to Todd. They were at Brody and Elise’s, dropping Alexander off. They’d be getting on a plane in a few hours, but for that moment, Ben watched his son clap his hands, dancing around with Rennie as baby Marti hopped up and down, spinning in her little bouncer.

“We won’t break him or lose him, I promise.” Elise smiled up at Ben, taking his hand and squeezing it. They sat around Brody and Elise’s kitchen table, guzzling coffee.

“He might break you.” Erin winked at her brother, who rolled his eyes.

“Babygirl, if I can survive you and Adrian and Martine’s impromptu four A.M. wake-up calls, I can handle Alexander.”

Alexander heard his name and came over, patting Brody’s knee. “Yo! Hey, Bo.”

Alexander had nicknames for everyone. Brody was Bo because at first he couldn’t say Brody. It had stuck, and from the smile on Brody’s face, he didn’t mind that one bit. And the yo had come directly from his uncle Adrian, who always said it.

Brody bent to pick Alexander up, plopping him on a bouncing knee. “Hey, monkey. Do you want to stay here with us for a few days?”

Alexander thought a moment and then nodded, a grin on his face. “Zoo?”

“Totally. We’re going to the zoo later today with uncle Adrian and Gillian and Miles too.”

“Yes!” Alexander clapped.

Miles was another cousin, the eldest of the bunch at fourteen, and Alexander loved him with the same glee he did everything else. Miles was a quiet kid, but as all new members of the Brown family found out, Browns simply never shut up or got still. It was best to throw yourself into the experience and enjoy it. And Miles was a good example to Alexander. He worked hard in school, got good grades, had manners and cared about his family.

Erin leaned over to kiss Rennie when she came into the kitchen. “Morning, Ren.”

“Hiya, Aunt Erin. Will you take lots of pictures? I like to see the pictures you all take when you go sunny places.” She sent a hangdog look to her mother, who snorted.

“Nice one. Try looking a little wistful instead of just sad.” Erin grinned. “Brody, why do you deny your children sunny vacations? Why you gotta be so hard?”

“I’m mean that way. I have a log book I keep with all the ideas I have to be mean to my daughters.”

“Daaad.” Rennie laughed.

Ben glanced at Todd, who looked down at his watch. No use putting it off any longer. They had to get going, and the cleaner they made the break, the better. Alexander had stayed with Brody and Elise overnight a few times and he wasn’t upset in the slightest.

Didn’t mean his parents weren’t, but that was life.

Ben stood. “We should be on our way.”

Erin looked in Alexander’s direction. He was happily handing Marti blocks, which she threw down five seconds later. He laughed and started over. She laughed and threw the blocks again.

Ben watched her swallow hard as she turned back to Brody. “You have our numbers if you need anything. The medical info is—”

“In the folder you brought today, along with the resort’s information and your flight dates and times.” Brody finished his sister’s sentence. He stood and hugged her. “Babygirl, have a good time. You know he’s going to be just fine here.” He lowered his voice. “You gonna be all right?”

Being around crowds and being jostled were hard for her. They were often trigger events from a long-ago attack that nearly killed her and did kill her daughter. She was the strongest person he knew, but it wrecked them all when she had her moments.

“I promised to take half a pill once we ate a little. I’m all right. I promise.” She looked up at her big brother and he hugged her once more before stepping back.

Totally unaffected, Alexander grabbed his toast and happily shoved it into his mouth. The trouble on Erin’s features melted away at the sight.

“Thank you, guys.”

“Nothing to thank us for. We love having him here.” Brody kissed her forehead. “Enjoy this time. I’ll see you guys in ten days.”

She bent and hugged Alexander. “Remember we talked about you staying here with Brody and Elise?”

“And Nee.”

Rennie grinned.

“Yes, monkey, Rennie and Marti too. Momma, Daddy and Pop have to go to the airport now. Be good for your aunt and uncle, okay?”

Alexander nodded, his cheeks stuffed with toast. “ ’Course!”

“Love you, monkey.” She stood up to let Todd move closer.

“Should we bring you back a shark, pickle?”

Erin groaned as Todd hugged their son. “Good lord, he’s going to expect one now.”

“Can’t keep him in the bathtub though. Maybe a smaller one.” Todd winked at Alexander, who giggled.

Ben followed, breathing his baby in. “Love you.”

“Love you!” Alexander blew them kisses as they headed out to the car. And then he turned and went back to his toast.

* * *

Erin hated the airport. It was crowded and loud and the entire process was dehumanizing.

“Thank god I took that Xanax or I’d be really pissed I have to take my shoes off. I’m so unbelievably grossed out by what must be on these floors,” she muttered.

Ben put his belt back on as he grinned her way. But she saw the way he and Todd worked in unison to shield her, protect her from getting bumped and jostled. Ben’s smile was sweet, but she saw the concern in his eyes and resented it for just a few fleeting moments.

Not that they cared for her—she loved that part. But that they had to. That she was still broken all these years after the attack that she had to take a freaking pill just to navigate the airport.

“Stop it.” Todd took the bag from her hand and put an arm around her shoulders.

“Stop what?” But she knew he’d seen right through her.

He leaned in to speak in her ear. “Right this very moment you’re angry at yourself for needing us to protect you. You’re convincing yourself that you’re weak and broken. You’re not. You know I’m in charge and I’m telling you to stop.”

She would have argued, but it was an old argument and she knew, deep down, that he was right. But she missed the Erin she was before. Before everything changed.

Ben kissed her forehead. “I like it when you finally obey.”

“Oh, the double entendres are flying fast and furious around here.” But she smiled when she said it.

“Coffee. I need it.” Ben held his hand out and she took it, allowing them both to shield her and protect her. Because she needed it and because it made her feel better.

* * *

After what had seemed like three days of travel, they arrived at the resort. Individual cottages ranged along the shoreline, some on stilts out over the water, others set farther back. Todd felt the entire world of weight on his shoulders lift away as he breathed in deep and only found sand and salt. Cleansing, that sort of clean air.

He put his arm around Erin’s waist as she held Ben’s hand. She needed the contact. The tension in her muscles told him she was still processing the day’s stress, so he and Ben would help soothe her.

Luckily, their stress relief often involved sex. He didn’t have any arguments with that process.

What was extra nice was that no one had looked at them twice. It was a freedom they only rarely had, and usually only around close family and friends.

“Mr. Copeland, we’re so pleased to have you here as our guests.” The resort’s concierge greeted them with flowers and glasses of chilled juice.

“Your bags have been delivered to your bure. Mr. Keenan, Ms. Brown, let me escort you three.”

Instead of taking the little golf cart thing, Erin said she wanted to walk, which seemed to please Gregory, their escort. He pointed out the different things they passed. Little side paths that would lead to pools and gardens. The entire place seemed to burst with life. Trees, flowers, bushes, birds and other wildlife.

“This is breathtaking.” Erin looked around, a smile on her face.

Gregory matched that smile. “Thank you. We work hard to keep the natural balance here.”

After a few minutes more, they turned left down a path and ended up at their bure.

Ben had chosen well. It was the farthest from the main buildings of the resort. On stilts over the water, it also had a nice beach, a hot tub, and was surrounded by a stand of trees that hugged part of the property. Secluded. Quiet.

“We understand the needs of our celebrity clients. There are no paparazzi you have to worry about here. Just relax. Should you need anything, simply use the house phone to contact the concierge and we’ll take care of it.” He explained the meals and other services to expect, laid out their scheduled events like massages, and then with one last bow, Gregory left them alone with the sound of the water.

“Beautiful.” Erin slowly turned in a circle.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Ben moved to her, grabbing her hair and yanking it back, exposing her throat to his mouth. Todd leaned against the doorjamb and watched the two of them. Watched as her eyes fell halfway closed. Saw the moment when her muscles gave over entirely to Ben.

Watched as Ben brushed away the last bits of her anxiety and replaced that with their connection. Incredible that Todd shared that with them.

Ben’s gaze sought Todd’s and he nodded. “I think we should have some of this champagne and then head for the water.” Ben indicated the bucket waiting for them, already chilled.

It was best if they didn’t bring it up or ask her how she was feeling. It only frustrated her, made her feel less than whole.

Erin smiled, reaching her arms up to stretch, knowing they watched her. “Mmm, yes. After eleventy hours on planes and in airports, an ocean frolic sounds lovely.”

She’d shifted from all her other roles, to being theirs. Todd put her bag on the bed. It was a small bag and one she was capable of handling herself without a problem. But he liked doing the heavy lifting. Liked making her life easier in all the ways he could.

And he really liked that she allowed it.

For a long time he hid what he was. He was ashamed of what he liked. What he craved. The whole time it was Erin who was the key. Erin who kicked his self-imposed walls down.

Erin, who’d been everything and continued to be.

She looked up from the bag and caught his gaze, smiling. “Should I be worried about that face you’re wearing right now?”

He laughed, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. “Only in the best kind of way.”

Her smile kicked up a few thousand watts. “Good.”

While her bag was a small one with a few bikinis, little dresses and a toothbrush, his was bigger because he’d brought a number of new toys he wanted to use. Toys she could enjoy at whatever volume she wanted.

“Any preferences?” She tipped her head to the bed, where she’d laid out several bathing suits of varying shape and color.

“The pink one Ben got you.”

He stepped away before he forgot all about the walk and took her right then and there. They had time. Lots of it. He wanted to draw the pleasure out. Plenty of opportunities to gorge himself of her and Ben both.

Ben changed into a pair of trunks that had Todd second-guessing his choice to not fuck right then. But Todd headed to the champagne, watching as Ben tied the bikini top for her, pausing to slide his hands all over her back and around to cup her breasts.

They were beautiful together. His man, cherishing their woman.

She looked back to Todd. “Are you sure this isn’t too skimpy? I’m not twenty-two anymore.”

Todd poured them all a glass of champagne. “Darlin, come here so I can rub some of you all over me.” He held out a glass and she came to him, taking the glass and getting in close.

“You look hot. Sexy. And if you recall, I knew you in your twenties. You’re just as gorgeous now. Hell, more so. We’re nearly all alone in the middle of nowhere with sand and sun. I’m all for this bikini.” He kissed her again. “My beautiful artsy freak.”

She nodded at his endearment. “All yours.”

Ben moved in behind her. “And mine.”

“And yours too.” She tipped her head back, resting it on Ben’s shoulder.

“Damn, there’s so much I have planned to do to you both I don’t even know when to start.” Ben winked at Todd, who grinned back.

“We have ten days. Plenty of time to make you scream.”

She smiled as she paused to sip her champagne. “Ready, willing and able any time you want. I’m always amenable to being made to scream by either of you.”

“And you do it so well.” Todd nuzzled her neck. She sighed, melting into his touch.

They stood like that for some time, just being with each other and enjoying it.

“Come on, you two. Let’s go for a walk and watch the sun go down.” Ben drained his glass.

Todd smiled. “Be back in a sec. Need to change.”

“Let me get a cover-up.” Erin bent to grab a gauzy, floaty thing she pulled on over her head.

Ben could hold her hand there. And Todd’s as well. No one was going to care, and if they did, he sure didn’t. This was the first vacation they’d had where they could all be open about who they were to one another. That, in and of itself, made the time and money it took to get there totally worth it.

Here, so far away from everything, there was no need to be on guard.

Erin returned to them both, taking their hands with a smile. And that smile was already less shaky than it had been even an hour before.

She put a hand on his chest and rested her cheek there a moment. “I’m all right.” She knew exactly what he was thinking. Amazing to be known so well.

“You’re more than all right. You’re perfect.”

She hugged him tight and he breathed her in.

“Love you.”

“Goddamn, me too, beautiful, me too.” Ben kissed the top of her head. Holding her was all he needed. Her body against his never failed to comfort, even as other parts of him were far more excited.

Todd came into the room wearing shorts and no shirt. His gaze snagged on Erin and then Ben. The heat between them was something Ben still found himself thrilled by. He’d never planned on Todd. Or Erin, for that matter.

It hadn’t been easy. Sometimes it had been lonely. But every single day Ben found a hundred reasons to love his life. And two of the biggest ones were right there at his side.

She turned, grabbing Ben’s hand and tugging. “Let’s go. I want to get my toes in the sand.”

Todd took up on her other side once they got down the stairs from their bungalow to the sand. The weather was perfect. June in Seattle was still cool and rainy, but the weather there was gloriously warm. The breeze kicked up the hem of her skirt, giving him a glimpse of her upper thighs from time to time, and he remembered back to when he’d first met her.

“You’re thinking. Should we be worried?” Todd winked at Ben.

“I was remembering one of the first times I’d met Erin. At your place. She had a little dress on, nothing tight or revealing, but when she bent I caught little flashes of the skin at the back of her thigh. She was yours. I tried to remind myself of it. But it was difficult. You made her come in the hallway right behind where I was sitting. Christ.”

Todd laughed. “I had her wear the egg and a harness on her clit. I played with her pussy all night long.”

“You got off on doing it where he could hear.” Erin sent Todd a look.

“So did you.”

She glanced up at Ben, a smile on her lips. “I did.”

“A lot has happened since then, but every time I see some secret part of you, just a little forbidden slash of skin like just now in that dress, I remember that. I remember wanting you and Todd both and thinking it would never happen.”

Erin squeezed his hand and then brought it to her mouth to kiss his knuckles. “It was meant to be. And here we all are, hand in hand in hand, walking on the beach and watching the sunset.”

“Life is damned good.” Todd breathed in deep and turned with them as they faced the majesty of the sun setting over the water, the sky a riot of purple, peach and blue.

The breeze ruffled Erin’s hair as she tipped her face up just a little. “I love it here. It’s warm and it smells good. No sound but birds and water. I feel so totally and utterly free.”

Ben squeezed her hand. “We figured Fiji would be gorgeous. But it’s even more beautiful than I could have imagined.”

The water lapped against their bare feet and then retreated. The color was a pale and yet vivid blue, and against the champagne-colored sand it was only more breathtaking.

Seduction on every level. Just standing there was foreplay.

“Makes me wish I had a private island of my own. We could put all our friends and family on it, have a school and all that stuff and just live unbothered in the middle of the ocean, far away from any annoyance.”

“Can’t say I find much to complain about with that idea.” Ben squeezed her hand.

Todd paused to pick up a shell, handing it to Erin, who took it with a smile.

She stopped to pull the dress off and tossed it to the sand behind them, placing the shell on top. “I want to go in. Do you mind?’

“Seeing you wet and frolicking in a bikini? What am I, Satan?” Todd waded in first and she followed with a laugh before getting out far enough to duck under and flip to her back, swimming lazily. Ben made his way to Todd before he jumped in and began to swim alongside her a moment, and then he pulled away, needing the exercise, needing to burn the stress of travel from his muscles.

Yes, he could totally do this.