Chapter 8. Love Hate

Revenge. That has been on my mind since I saw my father get stabbed that day in the villa. I have wanted for nothing more than to kill the one who ended my parent's life and to show Talia's family no mercy for stripping me of everything.

But sometimes we lose sight of things, especially when what we want most in the world is dangled right in front of us. That was the case today. In that moment when my lips were locked with Talia inside my bedroom and she was slowly peeling away my clothing, revenge was far from my mind. All I wanted to do was to make love to her and feel her beneath me. A girl could dream right?

"You're so sexy," she murmured as she took my top off and let it fall on the floor. I kissed her neck and smiled inwardly as she made that small gasping sound and dug her fingernails on my arms.

Like a hungry wolf who wanted to devour her victim, I quickly stripped her of her clothing until there was nothing between us but her sexy blue lingerie. I have always loved a woman's body and it lay sprawled underneath me in this very moment. Only a fool would not claim that.

"Let's take off these pants shall we?" she murmured. I let her unbutton my jeans and helped her remove it from me. She ran her tongue sensuously from my neck, down to my navel, making me bite my lower lip and stare at her with lust.

She began to tug my underwear down when she paused and said, "I didn't know you had a tattoo." Her words made me feel like someone poured a bucket of ice over my head. I quickly turned my attention to the tattoo near my hipbone and silently cursed myself for letting my hormones get the better of me. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN, the tattoo said. It was a reminder that I was to hate Talia and her family killed mine.

When I turned back to my companion, she was no longer the girl I was hoping for but another woman whom I nearly fucked into submission. "I'm sorry Brooke," I said with a hint of guilt. "I can't."

She had a confused look in her face but I immediately turned away. It was very messed up and I had only myself to blame. I couldn't let her get involved with me. I was in love with another woman. Yet that woman was the source of my agony.

Brooke scooted near me and made a move to embrace my body, but I stood up from the bed and left her hanging. "Is it because of another woman?" she asked with a raspy voice. I glanced back at her. "Yes. . . But it's not only that Brooke. Something is wrong with me."

"You mean aside from not wanting this perfection?" she asked while pointing to herself. That made me smile a little. She had a sense of humor. But she also had a point. She was very tempting at the moment, clad in that skimpy blue lace underwear which shows off her cleavage and toned body. Something must be clearly wrong with me if I didn't want that.

I took a deep breath and sat beside her on the bed. I didn't mind that I was nearly naked at all. At least I could give her that. "You're very sexy Brooke," I said while meeting her eyes. "Anyone would want to do it with you."

"But you don't," she said with a frown.

"I don't have time for love," I replied truthfully. "If you only want to have sex, I can give you that. But I know that sooner or later you're going to fall for me and I can't let that happen."

"You're very confident aren't you?" she smirked.

"I was raised that way." Both by my adoptive and dead parents, I thought darkly. "I'm a messed up person inside Brooke. There's only darkness in my mind and if you make the mistake of falling in love with me, you'll be broken too. Love is not something I can afford. Not until I attain my goals."

"And what exactly is your goal?" she asked.

I decided to test her. "I want to kidnap a princess," I said seriously.

A week went by after that conversation. Brooke avoided me all the time in school. I wasn't complaining though. It was better for me to be alone, consumed with my thoughts of revenge. Besides, she was too sweet a girl to be involved with me. I'd just destroy her and she wouldn't understand anything at all.

I continued with my usual routine. Go to the university in the morning, study in the library in free periods, go back home after classes, and study about hacking and computers. My first step to kidnap the princess involves hacking the server in the palace and checking out for any vulnerability. Through their cameras which were all over the palace, I would know what time the guards change shifts, how they handle their security, and what Talia was doing.

I learned through my adoptive parent's connections that Talia's room was equipped with a camera too. It wasn't open though to maintain her privacy, but it was installed there nonetheless in case of emergency. What emergency was that? I don't freaking care. But I'd use that to stalk her. Haha stranger danger much? I was basically a walking psychopath.

Brooke was far away from my mind, so I was quite surprised when she headed in my direction at school, bringing her laptop and other things with her. I thought she was avoiding me. I was currently sitting on the grass, overlooking the river in our school when she took my hand and hauled me up.

"What?" I asked as she leaned down on the grass, picked up my books and satchel, and handed it to me. "We're going to my room," she said. "But first, we're going to Greggs." Greggs was this pastry house where you could buy anything from a sandwich to pasta. She bought snack for us and forced me to go all the way to her dorm room inside the college.

I looked around as I entered her room. "I didn't know you stay inside the university," I said while glancing around. The place was quite neat. It wasn't as big as my space in the mansion of course, but the design was rather posh. From what I gathered, Brooke was a girly girl.

Everything was done in pink or purple and there were pictures everywhere- on the walls, on her bulletin board, on the huge wooden desk. There were also a couple of beanbags on the floor. The room screamed comfort and luxury. "That's my roomie," she said when I stared into one picture on the board of her and another woman clad in a brown trench coat.

"Why do you stay in the dorms?" I asked.

"Why don't you?" she returned my question with a smirk. "Blimey Iris, stop looking at me like that," she said while placing her laptop on the bed and sitting beside it. "I stay in the dorms because my house is far from here. And you're the only one I know who doesn't do that either. People usually want to stay here."

I gave her a shrug. "It's more comfortable in the mansion. I have my room to myself and people mind their own business. Except for the butler that is," I added with a frown. "You know Brooke, I'm quite curious about you. Are you really English? You have an accent but it's quite different."

"That's because my mom is Australian," she said. "My dad is the Englishman so I kind of picked up both their slang, if you know what I mean. How about you? You have this different accent going on for you as well."

"I do? Well I wasn't born here. I was adopted," I explained.

"Now I get it," she said and patted the space beside her. "Come here. I have something to show you." I stared at her hesitantly before doing what she said. Once again, I smelled her minty aroma. It was nice. Not as great as lavender though which I loved. It reminded me of Talia.

She turned to me. "I don't know if you were serious about kidnapping a princess. Are you? Or are you just pulling my leg?"

I didn't know what possessed me to tell her. "I'm serious Brooke."

"Well then." She took the pink laptop and placed it on her knees. "You also said something about hacking right? When I put two and two together, I arrived with the conclusion that you're going to break into a server to attain your goals. I don't really understand what's going on but I'll help you."

I gave her a look. "You will?"

She smiled. "I like you Iris. I want to win your heart." When I didn't reply she added, "Or at least your friendship."

"I can give you that," I said with a nod. "But how will you help me?"

I didn't know if I could trust her. I guess I'd just wait and see. If things go sour, I could always threaten her and her family. She was influential too, but she was no match for my parents who were known around the world. I could destroy them and make them go bankrupt in an instant.

She pointed to her laptop. "I haven't told you before but I have a thing for technology," she said. "What? Don't give me that look. And don't underestimate me. How do you think I managed to enter this university if I'm dumb? Besides, my mother is a kick ass programmer. I picked up a thing or two."

"But do you know how to hack?" I asked reluctantly. Frankly, I had my doubts. She looked too much of a party girl to know stuff. Hmmm... But she was right; she couldn't enter this university if she was stupid.

Brooke gave me an are-you-serious look and ran a program in her laptop. "Of course I know how to," she said while typing on the keyboard fast. "How do you think I know the answer to all the test." She winked. "Just kidding. I don't do that of course. But I do enjoy hacking on the government's server once in a while."

My jaw fell when she showed me what she could do. The girl wasn't kidding. She did know very much about computer. We spent the whole evening figuring things out. By the end of the day, I knew very well how to enter the main server of the palace. I thanked her profusely and bid her goodbye for the night.

"Wait," she said when I was about to open her door. "Don't I get a reward?"

I stopped and turned to her. "You want money? " I asked.

She giggled at my statement. "Don't forget that I'm rich too Iris. No, I want something money can't buy. I want a kiss." She raised a finger and curled it in a come here motion. Her ebony eyes twinkled suggestively.

"Just this once," I sighed and walked to her. My hand found the small of her back and I pressed her body to me, which made her gasp. "Don't fall in love with me Brooke. I mean it," I said before bringing my lips to hers. Her lips tasted like the bubblegum she chewed on earlier. It was minty, sweet, and yummy. But she was no Talia and I had to stop the kiss when she attempted to deepen it.

"That will never happen again," I said as I let go of her. She was still panting from the kiss when I walked back to the door and opened it widely. Without saying another word, I got out and headed for home.

I know what you're thinking. I was a total arse right? I used Brooke and I used my adoptive parents. But I would do it over and over if it means I could someday get my hands on Talia.

With these thoughts in my mind, I arrived at the mansion. A maid greeted me as I entered the door. "Good evening Miss Iris. Do you want to eat your dinner now?"

"No thank you," I replied. "Are my parents here?"

"Not yet miss. They haven't arrived from their trip."

"Okay," I said and left the maid standing there. My feet carried me to the grand staircase leading to my room. I was halfway through the stairs when someone grabbed my right foot which almost made me slip down.

"What the hell!" I screamed as I turned to the person who took hold of my foot. "Chandra?" It was the butler of course. God she was weird. "What do you want? I nearly stumbled down. Don't do that again," I scolded.

"You have to eat dinner," she said in that weird nasal voice of hers. I shook my head at the butler. She was probably 40 something by now and had her hair pulled away from her face in a bun. "I've already eaten with Brooke. I'm going to my room. Please don't disturb me."

I almost ran on top of the staircase, leaving the butler there. Bloody hell she was strange. She always did those kinds of things to me. I wonder where my parents got her. Oh well. . . Since she didn't really harm me all these years, I'm just going to let it go.

I opened the huge doors to my room and locked it behind me. I had something special to do this particular night and I didn't want anyone to get in the way. Yes, the butler was the first on the list.

With long strides, I quickly reached my laptop and brought it with me to the bed. Time for hacking, I thought. With years of practice and studying about computers, plus Brooke's instruction, I was able to get in the main security server of the palace.

It was miles away, back in my home country. But the way I saw things, it was as if every one of them was standing on the next room with me. Oh how I love technology. It brings people closer together. I almost hummed to myself as I broke down the security one-by-one and made my way into the palace system.

Around midnight, I found the control for the camera in Talia's room and activated it from my laptop. A live feed of her immediately appeared in my screen. My breath hitched as I gazed at her sitting on her bed. My bed. Well it used to be mine until they stole it.

Talia was still awake and was reading a novel. I zoomed the focus and saw that she was concentrating on The Count Of Monte Cristo. How ironic, I thought. She was reading a book about revenge when she was going to receive one of her own from me.

I stared at her for a long time. Sorry for being a creeper but I just couldn't help it. She became more beautiful. She was 6 and I was 10 the last time we saw each other. Now I was 20 and she was 16 years of age and she grew up to be someone so lovely.

Her honey hair was still styled on that half crown braid that she loved. I couldn't see the color of her eyes clearly, but I still know that it was a pretty grey. How could I not know it when I dreamt of her every single night? At present, her thin lips were parted slightly. It was no doubt that she was absorbed in her reading.

My feelings about her were a combination of hate and love. But at the moment, I was veering towards the former. I despised her for getting what was mine. Her mother should have been dead instead of the king and queen that I loved. I continued looking at Talia with loathing. I didn't know why I had to punish myself like this. It was too painful. The memory of her was like a tattoo etched in my skin down to my soul.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, Talia decided to go to sleep. I watched as she got up from the King sized bed and tossed the book to the bedside table. Before I could turn away, she removed the dress she was wearing.

My jaw fell as I took in her lovely body. She was not an adult yet but she was getting there. Her hand went to her back and deftly unclasped her bra. Before I even had a view of what was behind it, I slammed the laptop shut and breathed deeply.

Fudge! I hated Talia with all my might. But at the back of my mind, a question kept on nagging me. If I abhorred her so much, why did I want to make love to her in that moment?