In the Arms of A Beast

“I WAS seven when my mother left me with my father. She promised me that she’ll come back to get me and that we’re going to live together. But, years passed, and she didn’t come back. When I reached the age of ten, my father brought me to my aunt’s house and told me that she’d be the one who will take care of me because he has to work to support me,” Caroline stopped to laugh. “But, of course, like what my mother did, he didn’t come back for me.”

Benjamin touched her arm and squeezed it. He looked at her eyes softly that says he will be there for her. Caroline smiled back, but this wasn’t what she wanted to get from him. She doesn’t want to be pitied.

“Don’t pity me, Benjamin,” she said, laughing. “Those experiences taught me how to be a strong person.”

“I know, I know…” Benjamin said. “But why did your parents separate? And why they didn’t bring you with them instead of leaving you?”

Caroline felt a lump in her throat. “My aunt says they always fight at each other. My father was a jobless drunkard, and my mom was an ambitious chick he just got from a bar. And, they left me because they wanted to get rid of their responsibilities of raising a burden.”

“But, you still got your aunt, and she treated you like her family, right?” Benjamin said as he poured water on glass. He gave it to her.

Caroline forced to laugh, but it ended empty. “Aunt Isabelle was my dad’s elder sister. She was an old maid, but when she met a French guy thru the internet, she just abandoned me. Penniless and homeless.” Caroline couldn’t hide the bitterness in her voice. “It’s a good thing that I was in my fourth year in high school when it happened when the last person that I thought would be the one that I could hold on to also abandoned me. That was also the day that I realized that I never had a family.”

Nobody wants you… a small voice whispered in her mind. Nobody loves you because you’re a freak.

“I maybe looked like a woman who always gets what she wants, but it’s only because I earned it myself. When life gets hard on me, I learned to give myself everything because life also taught me that no one would do those things for me. No one will love me the way I wanted to be loved,” Caroline ignored the tightening of her chest. “I also promised myself that I would never let anyone abandon me again.”

“Caroline…” Benjamin’s low and soothing voice pulled her from her dark memories. He squeezed her hand. “We’re here for you… Antonette, Anastacia, and I are thankful because you’re here with us.” He inched closer to her. “You can stay here if you want.”

Caroline met his gaze. His eyes were telling her more than the words that he said. She stared at his face, watched his eyes blinked slowly as his kissable lips formed a smile for him. Caroline felt energy pulling her closer to him. She closed her eyes and felt his soft lips pressed against hers.

*

Benjamin knew what will happen next, but he just let it. Caroline kissed him gently on the lips, and he just remained still in his seat. Feeling the softness and gentle movements of her lips against his—that lasted for only three seconds.

Caroline pulled back surprisingly. Her face turned red in embarrassment. She shifted in her seat and gazed down at the table. “I-I’m sorry, Benjamin…”

“I should be the one to say sorry…” he murmured. He scolded himself in his mind for not doing anything to prevent it from happening.

“Must be the hormones…” she whispered, her clasped hands over her lap trembled. Benjamin wanted to hold them and caress them until she relaxed.

He moved his chair an inch away and awkwardly shifted his gaze to the casserole on the table. They remained silent for a few minutes until Caroline spoke again to break the silence. Benjamin admired this woman’s courage—in all aspects.

Benjamin doesn’t pity her, just like she thought. He didn’t expect that a successful and kind woman like her has a dark past. Instead, he admired her strength for surpassing all those struggles in her life. That despite being abandoned by her family, her heart remained kind and generous to others. Caroline didn’t let her dark past affects her future and personality. She used those bad experiences to excel and succeed in life.

Unlike him… When his wife died, he also died—mentally and emotionally. His children were the only reasons why he’s still alive and breathing. But little did they know that he was slowly dying inside. Until he met Caroline again, Benjamin can see a shade of different hue in their black and white life with her presence.

But is it right to feel this way for her? Is it too soon for him to entertain this feeling? Benjamin remembered the man named Lucas and that he was Caroline’s ex-boyfriend. He’s a billionaire, a perfect and successful man. He was the kind of guy that can give everything to Caroline, not the kind of him. Not the sort of man who has a lot of emotional baggage in life. Who was in debt and unsuccessful?

Caroline doesn’t deserve him, just like how he doesn’t deserve a woman like her. But why was his heart telling him the other way around?

“I’ll just call the kids so that we can eat together,” she said and stood up, but Benjamin grabbed her hand to stop her. She turned to him with a surprised look.

Benjamin hesitated, but he said it anyway. “I meant everything that I said to you a while ago, Caroline,” he said in a low voice that is almost a whisper. “You may think about it. And, besides, it’s your house. But, I will still pay the rentals.”

Caroline smiled at him. This time it reached her eyes. “Thank you, Raf. I really appreciate it.”

***