I'm a Married Man

Seventeen years ago

I looked at the fancy looking envelope. It's not a funeral obviously. But it's still an invitation. I looked at the fancy handwriting. It looked very familiar. And that's when it hit me....hard.

Van is getting married.

I-I should be happy. I felt a tear go down my face. A wedding....why? Why? Why?! Van.... I was shaking. I bit my lip hard as I reread it. This is a nightmare. I dropped the invitation and cried.

After I crying for hours....well all night, I decided to go. I showed up in a very non-formal get up. But hey, I came didn't I?

I sighed stuffing my hands in my pockets. I leaned back on the wall, closing my eyes tightly. You never had him in the first place....not even close. I opened my eyes.

Fuck the wedding. I'm gonna crash it. I know soooo mature. Plus I'm late. 

I finally got up those stairs and pulled the doors open. My eyes widen, he looked so...happy. Well, of course, he does idiot. Van lit up when he saw me. I dropped my arms to my sides. He wasn't mad....even though I'm dressed inappropriately and I am late. Before he walked over Marion came along. She kissed him and I clenched my teeth, as he came my way. No, go away. Don't come near me. But Van kept smiling and getting closer.

"Len I'm so gla-" he started to say but I slapped him.

I know, stupid.

There were gasps everywhere. Van looked a bit mad at first but then confused. 

"Le-Len," Van said and touched where I slapped him.

I don't know why but I froze. The tears I could feel them coming. I felt so stupid. I am stupid. 

"Len, what's wrong? Why did you slap me?" he asked looking at me.

Marion started to come over to us and that's when I unfroze. I turned my back towards Van and walked to the doors. I pushed them open, it was raining. 

"Len!" he yelled.

Run.Run.Run. Don't look back.

I ran to my car and got in. I started it but heard a smack on my window. I looked up and Van's hands were on my window. His hair and tux were getting wet. 

"Len, what is going on? What's wrong?" he asked out of breath looking at me with eyes full of sorrow and concern.

I looked away and gripped the wheel. I clenched my teeth.

Just say it. Say you love him....but whats the point? Why confess your feelings now? One, he's a married now. Two, your moving...sure you were going to try to stay, but whats the point now? There, you guys are best friends and it's never gonna change. He would never love you. Not in that way. Never. Ever. Four,....Van Carter is not gay. He's straight. Straight as a pole. In love with a woman, married to her for crying out loud. And me...I'm as straight as a circle.

"Len. What's wrong?" he asked again.

"I'm moving," I said and peeked at him.

His eyes widen. He looked pained. Maybe even a bit in panic.

"No. No! You can't!" he said shaking his head.

"I have...to go," I said and drove off, ignoring his pleas and calls.

I should have never looked back. But I did. He was getting soaked in the rain. Standing there looking confused, upset, angry, and....in pain. 

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Lenny's POV

I sighed as I looked at the stars.

Damn that memory.

I turned to look at Van and he was staring back at me. "I was joking," I grumbled. He blinked and stared at me a bit more.

"You're random," he said shaking his head then slapped my back grinning. "You had me for a minute there. Anyways don't joke about love Len," he said rolling his eyes.

Had you?..I wasn't joking.

"Maybe I'll find you a boyfriend," he said smirking.

"Good luck with that," I said rolling my eyes.

"Haha I'm up for the challenge, what about that policeman?" he asked grinning.

"Don't you dare even think about it," I said glaring at him and he laughed.

I smiled a bit then looked back at the stars sighing. "Don't you want to be married?" he asked.

I looked at him and blinked. "Excuse me?" I asked.

"I'm happy and not alone," he said smirking. 

"So?" I said glaring at him.

"I'm a married man," he said smiling.