Chapter 3 - Theresa

"Are you ready to go to work yet?"

I advance a few steps toward William hoping that the magic of this night is not already over. He is wearing the uniform, the one that makes him a policeman, the one that, in the last period, I seriously believed could make him happier than I could, and his charm has disappeared.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're already dressed," I point out and cling to him, lifting my arms and encircling his neck, touching his hair as I did tonight.

"I'll be back from work now."

He raises an eyebrow and his answer makes me confused, more confused than I already am since the alcohol has given me a huge headache and maybe even hallucinations.

"But how much did you drink yesterday?" he asks me, and he doesn't seem particularly happy to see me in this state.

I didn't even look at myself in the mirror but I can bet I look terrible and I got dressed as best I could because I was completely naked in an unmade bed, with the smell of sex clinging to my skin and what looked like dried up now semen between my thighs and I thought it was William, I was sure it was him, it had to be him and

"Well, I'm leaving."

Adrian.

I instantly shift my gaze from William to Adrian, his brother. They are very similar even though they are a few years apart, but he doesn't look at me.

He grabs his jacket and at a brisk pace reaches the door of the Roberts house, the kitchen door that is nothing but a back door.

"Thanks for the favor, Adrian."

"You're welcome!"

He leaves.

Adrian leaves and seems to take a part of me with him. Maybe I'm just exaggerating, maybe I imagined it all, maybe it was just a dream.

I can't really have had sex with my boyfriend's brother.

Oh my God.

I feel nauseous, I want to shove two fingers down my throat to vomit and get rid of even those few fuzzy memories, the feeling of having been in bed with Adrian and having finally experienced an orgasm.

I have to keep my composure. Maybe I'm just suggesting myself and it's not appropriate to freak out with William right in front of my eyes. I breathe but swear I will find out the truth.

"What favor were you talking to your brother about?"

"Nothing! It's just a trifle."

"Guy stuff?"

"Sort of...I'm going to take you home now so you can finally fix yourself up, you really look terrible."

I feel guilty and William is great at making me feel wrong all the time, he doesn't seem to understand the power of words, he doesn't seem to know that his words are always capable of hurting me and he should just love me instead.

"I, on the other hand, have to run home and rest. This night at work has been impossible! Damn kids and damn illegal motorcycle races on Long Avenue."

I get in the car and think back to me, the Roberts' party, the mojito and then the rum, the tequila, and William begging me to stop, me continuing to drink so I won't hear from him again and him pulling away to talk on his cell phone, the deafening music, the laughter in company, William coming back to me, me forgiving him and him making love to me like we never did.

William who was not William, William who may have been Adrian.

"I want to know what favor Adrian does you."

I want to know, I need to know.

"Again with this?"

"Tell me, William."

He snorts, gears up violently, angrily, and presses on the accelerator. He almost seems to look forward to driving me home again to avoid answering me, and I would, in another circumstance, look forward to going home and not answering him out of spite for at least three days, but not today. Today I need to know things as they are.

"All right!" he then says suddenly as he nails a red light. It is less than a kilometer to my house.

"I asked him to keep an eye on you since you were completely gone and I had to run to work."

"And he ... did he? I don't remember."

I remember, but what I remember, right now, I don't want to remember. I wish it was just fantasy.

"He says he did. After all, what could you possibly have done that was so bad? Cheating on me with someone else?"

"Don't be silly, William."

"Just kidding, Tessa! Besides, Jonny was with Maddy, Charles is gay to the core, and I doubt you could do it with Adrian."

"Yeah!"

Yeah. Instead, I cheated on him with Adrian, cheated on him with his brother.

William pulls the car up to the curb in front of my house and simply greets me with a chaste kiss on the cheek.

A kiss that inevitably takes me back to this night and I close my eyes, stifling a shudder and a groan as I think back to how I was kissed tonight.

And it wasn't a dream, dreams aren't so real, in dreams you don't commit shit like the one I did. In dreams I have always seen my desires come true and making love with my boyfriend's brother was not part of my desires.

I run to my room ignoring my roommates intent on having breakfast in the kitchen we share, run to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, slowly undress and continue to look at myself. A small bruise invades my breasts, all around my nipple, which plumps up at the mere thought of it.

It was Adrian, I bet it was him who got it for me as he sucked my breasts hard and I begged him first to stop and then to continue.

I'm shocked and when I go back to look at my body, my inner thighs still dirty with cum, I bring a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming or crying.

I feel guilty, I feel dirty and it is a very bad feeling that I hope to wash away in the shower.