Chapter 1

Prologue:

After I returned from the hospital, my two children were crying and clinging to me. Elsa still had her backpack on, and Anna's face was smeared with rice paste. The bowl had shattered on the floor, mixing food with toys. Meanwhile, my husband and mother-in-law sat on the couch watching TV. My already dizzy head spun more. "Can't you take care of the children when I'm sick?"

My husband raised his voice. "What are you talking about? Would this have happened if you hadn't gotten sick?"

My mother-in-law added, "You were at the hospital for so long, and you didn't even think about coming back and taking care of the children."

***

At that moment, I realized that as his wife, I was not even entitled to be sick.

"Andrew Miller, why am I the only one who looks out for our family? Are the children only mine? If you don’t want this life, just say it earlier."

"Can't stand it? Then let's get divorced!" Andrew snapped, "Which wives hang out all day without thinking of coming home to take care of the children?"

Hanging out all day? My head had been spinning for two days, and today I specifically went to see a doctor. To him, it seemed like I was just loafing around.

"Seeing a doctor equals loafing around. Is that what you mean?" His words doused all my anger and resentment like a bucket of cold water, numbing my heart.

This home was no longer my safe harbor but the origin of my misery.

The man I once eagerly wanted to marry had now become so cold and heartless.

I had thought he would manage the marriage and our home with the same devotion as I did. I dreamed of a romantic life after marriage where we would earn money, shop for groceries, cook, and take care of the kids together. It ended up with both of us earning money, but me buying groceries, cooking, and taking care of the kids alone while he, besides earning money, cared about nothing.

How stupid I was.

Had I known this would be the case, why would I have endured it? I used to consider leaving or staying, restless at nights, but now I see it was all self-torment.

"Fine, let's get divorced."

I responded calmly, emotionlessly picking up Anna and leading Elsa towards the bedroom.

I took the backpack off Elsa's shoulders and wiped Anna's face with a wet wipe.

Hearing me agree so readily, Andrew looked up disdainfully. "That’s what you said. Don't regret the divorce later."

If it weren't for the children being so young, I might have left already.

From what I see, the only person truly bound by the children has always been me alone.

My mother-in-law sat on the couch, spectating and rambling. Andrew, with a slam, shut the bathroom door to smoke, leaving the two distraught children for me, sick as I was, to look after.

After cleaning up the spilled food, I glanced at the empty dining table and kitchen, then carried Anna and led Elsa into the kitchen to start cooking.

Once the meal was ready, the kids and I began eating on our own without calling them.

"What do you mean, Sarah?" Andrew, seeing the empty rice cooker, said angrily, "Why did you only cook for yourself? What are we supposed to eat?"

"Want to eat? Cook it yourself."

"Sarah, you’re being too selfish! There are five of us, and you only cooked for yourself and the kids. Why is that?" Andrew fumed.

"Right, I am selfish. Cook it yourselves. Why make me, a sick person, take care of the kids and cook for you? Are you disabled or what?"

My mother-in-law interjected, "It's just an illness. Who hasn't been sick? Don't make a big deal about it! How unreasonable!"

"Yes, I'm being unreasonable."