Chapter 4

Sophie.

The pounding music fades into the distant hum of New York City as I step out of the club, leaving the neon lights behind. The cool night air hits me, a sharp contrast to the heat and chaos inside. I pull my coat tight around me, the city lights stretching high into the sky. A slight shudder coursing through me, I purse my lips and make my way to my car, getting into it and driving off without so much as a backward glance. I'm too scared to turn around and find Marcus standing there, a distraught expression on his face.

The road is alive with the energy of the night, cars rushing by, and people weaving through the sidewalks, but I can barely register anything going on around me, lost in my thoughts. Absentmindedly driving home, I turn on the radio, need the noise to drown out the voices and emotions Marcus has stirred within me. New York City, with its towering buildings and bustling streets, feels both comforting and suffocating.

I finally get to the high-rise building where my apartment is situated. Parking my car at the designated parking spot, I make my way to the elevator. Stepping inside, I click on my floor number, watching the door close with a tiny ding. The mirrored walls reflect a face filled with conflict and glazed eyes they look like they're about to cry. I look away, keeping my gaze on the ground. The elevator ascends, each floor passing in a silent dance of numbers until I reach my destination. I step out of the elevator and immediately make my way to my apartment, sliding the key and opening up the door.

Entering the apartment, I let out a sigh, feeling the weight of the night settle around me. Sagging against the door, i purse my lips, watching the outside world through the floor to ceiling windows, the darkness welcoming me into it's embrace. Today was such a mess. I suck in a deep breath, push myself away from the door and head straight to the bathroom, the soft glow of the city below casting shadows on the walls. Coming face to face with my reflection again, I stiffen, unable to believe my own eyes. The mirror reflects someone I barely recognize – a woman caught between the past and an uncertain future.

Turning on the faucet, I splash cold water on my face, hoping the physical sensation will help drown out the emotional turmoil. My eyes catch the tattoo on my arms and I let out a groan, dropping my head. I can't believe he saw that. I had gotten that a few weeks after leaving the island, as a way to embellish the precious moments of that time into my memory. Now I regret it. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but the memories of Marcus linger like an intoxicating fragrance, unsettling me.

Alone in the bathroom, the walls witness the unraveling of my composure. I lean against the sink, tracing the edge with my fingers, the cool porcelain grounding me. The façade I maintained in the club crumbles, and I let the conflicting emotions come forward.

Although I had told Marcus we should be strangers, deep down, I wonder if it's what I truly want. In all honesty, I don't believe my words myself. The desire to throw myself into his arms and have him wrap them around me this evening when I saw him once more had surprised even me. A part of me had obviously missed him way too much and hoped to see him again. Yet, I had to let the reasonable part of me win.

Lying to him about my name was a way to protect myself, because the last thing I wanted was for a random fling to recognize me when all we had was just sex. Yet, it's becoming increasingly hard to deny they there had been something more. The warmth of his gaze, the timbre of his voice, his boxy smiles when he was happy, and his hands when they roamed around my body and his gaze on me when he unraveled me– they haunt me.

Turning off the faucet, I run a hand through my hair, undressing before stepping into the shower. The hot water hits my face and I let out a sigh, feeling my tense muscles relax. I close my eyes, trying to bask in the warmth but my mind drifts to Marcus once more, picturing him.as he is now, the stern look on his face in the club, the way his eyes traced every contour of mine, the light spark of desire in his eyes. The image sends shivers down my spine, a tumultuous mix of attraction and apprehension.

Then, my mind drifts to the island – an idyllic time suspended in memories. The gentle caress of the ocean breeze, the warmth of the sun on our skin, and the intimacy we shared in the secluded paradise. A small smile hits my lips as I remember Marcus and I then. We'd been two young, Happy-go-lucky people, without a care in the world. The contrast between then and now overwhelms me and though I feel disappointed, I'm glad I have those memories to treasure.

Stepping out of the shower, I head straight to the bedroom, grabbing a bottle of wine and a glass in the way and seat on the edge once of the bed, watching the scenery outside while I pour myself another glass. Still wrapped I'm my bathroom robe, I continue to take sip after sips of my wine, feeling the alcohol cloud my thoughts.

The frigid air blows around me and I feel my resolve start to harden. Sure, the time I had spent on the island was wonderful and Marcus was a wonderful person, it was time to come back to reality. We are two completely different people leading completely different lives. The faster I made myself understand this, the better for me. It wouldn't do well for me to dwell in the past or what could have been. Once that thought took it's hold, I dropped the glass and plopped down on the bed, rubbing my face. Time to get some rest.

I have a wedding dress to design.