The past

"You know I'll wait for you even if we grow old and you are still not ready ..right?" he had said that day when he tried to kiss me and I pulled away.. Again 

I was ready, I just wanted to surprise him

"I'm ready' I whispered in his ear. "Are you sure? He had asked me and I replied by whispering that I will come to his room by 9:30 pm. God knows that I was nervous but also I want him and I didn't want to lose him. He has tried, for a good three years he has been waiting for me.

Three years that I know of his feelings for me though. We have been friends since childhood and they have been kind to us for letting us live with them. They love us so much that I had thought it was because mom was there housekeeper and that without her their house would be foodless and dirty ...These are my Childhood thoughts though

But then my whole life turned into a nightmare that night as I was sneaking into his room. I was so happy and nervous that I had thought I've forgotten my brassiere

I stepped inside and locked the door then remembering that Phil will come through the same door I unlocked it. I guess that was how nervous I was.

After dressing myself in only a pant and bra, I lay on the bed waiting for him. I waited and waited but there was no sign of him. I wanted to give up but then he showed up drunk.

I took it that he was as nervous as I am so I made the first move by hugging him in order to reassure him that I too I'm nervous but ok but then he surprised me by pushing me forcefully on the bed then removing his clothes.

I was scared and also wasn't scared. Did something happen? I asked trying to check his mood but then the way he looked at me got me backing off and I told him that I didn't want to do it again but he didn't listen instead he started tugging at my bra and when it didn't remove he tore it off my skin forcefully injuring me in the process.

I panicked and threatened to scream but he whispered slowly in my ear that I can scream as loud as I want that nobody will hear me

Please... I'm scared Phil when you are sober we will do it ...please" I had pleaded but he replied to me by forcefully pulling my pantie down and his hands ...hand, he put his hand inside me and  licks it when he brings it out. 

I tried pushing him off but he hit me hard. I screamed for help but he just kept laughing like a possessed demon

Please... I had pleaded crying but he wouldn't listen. He just kept on sticking his hands inside me. After a while of agony he spread my leg seeking for entrance with my hands behind my back 

I felt dead and I kept on thinking the guy I love is injuring me. All of a sudden I saw him being dragged off me

As my eyes met Carol I faint but but not before I heard her say on the phone "...we have a rapist in the house' than she yelling on the phone 'who the hell rapes his own girlfriend ...not my brother"

Carol told me that When he regained consciousness he ran pushing her out of the way while she screams "ran or hide they will still find you"

He surprised everyone by coming home the next day as if nothing happened ..well obviously in the hands of the cop and they handcuff him and took him to jail

What made me more mental was when he denied it, saying it wasn't him but his twins. twins that not even the sister know about and that was how he was released

I hurt him and I didn't know, he was in pain all those years. 

I need to see him. I need to get my Phil back