08

I went home after that in the shittiest mood possible. My mother had questioned what had happened and I had forced a smile before saying I was tired. She had believed this and I made my way back upstairs.

I lay on my bed, thinking. About Aaron. I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Questions arose in my head. Why did he hate being called a manwhore so much? Why did he act the way he did? This is a side to him I've never seen. Then again, I didn't know him that much. He made that pretty clear. His words rang in my head.

'Don't get the idea that you know me because you don't.'

I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I went to the closet and pulled out some comfortable clothes to wear at home.

Removing the skinny jeans and red blouse, I changed into black joggers and a hoodie. I looked at the mirror and opened my long straight hair that was in a ponytail and let it cascade down my shoulders. I looked in the mirror at my reflection. My brown hair reached to my petite waist. I was skinny, with little to no curves, but I didn't quite mind it. Each body was, indeed, built differently. I looked back to my heart-shaped face, grimacing at how pale I was. Brown doe eyes stared back at me; so large on my face. What bothered me was that my looks were far too plain: something that blended in with the surroundings and nothing to notice. For a second, I felt a rush of distaste run through my mouth as I took the sight, but it immediately was forgotten when I thought about his words again.

'Don't get the idea you know me because you don't.'

That hurt me. I don't know why it did. I knew we were strangers, but something about the way he emphasised that fact made me want to crawl up in a corner. His statement sounded almost accusatory, filled with unrequited anger and hatred.

Yet, all the anger didn't seem to be directed towards me.

I shook my head and made my way to the bed, deciding to have a little bit of a nap. Yet, try as I might, the next few hours where a restless sleep. I tossed and turned before letting out a huff of frustration and made my way into the bathroom, my head groggy from the semi-sleeping state.

Removing my clothes, I stood under the lukewarm water of the shower, feeling relief as it brushed away the tension and aches at my muscles. I lathered the shampoo and conditioner into my hear, washing it off as I massaged my scalp. My head had been tense from thinking too much and I revelled in the momentary comfort.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I walked freely back to my room. It was just my mother and I at home, considering my dad was away constantly on business trips. My mother used to also work for the same company, but things have changed since then. A lot of things.

I shut the door behind me before putting my undergarments on and wrapping the towel around me yet again and grabbing my phone. I always did this after a shower and would stay in my towel for hours.

I had planned to scroll through Reddit, but the notification on my screen made me halt. I had never seen it before and when I clicked on it, the screen lit up with '1 voicemail in inbox.'.

This made my confusion grow as I had never had such a notification. Tepidly, I clicked on it, letting out a small startled noise when a male voice rung across the room. It was one that I quickly realised was Aaron.

"I tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail..." He began and I looked to the phone with folded arms as he spoke. It was odd to hear his voice through the phone as I had never done so. He must have called me whilst I was showering. I listened intently, hearing a slight hesitation on his bit which made me think that the voicemail was finished, but his voice filled the room not a moment after.

"I didn't mean to act the way I did. I guess it's true when they say 'old habits die hard' because I am trying, but I keep failing..." His voice was slightly strained as he spoke and I noticed how he danced around the specifics of what had happened. Namely, explaining his anger to what I had called him. The sound of him sighing brought me out of my reverie and I looked to my phone as he spoke again.

"I don't expect you to say 'yes' is what I'm trying to say. I just called to let you know that. Enjoy your weekend, Alexis."

The sound of the call cutting off and the female voice asking to either delete it or repeat it became noise in the background as I processed his words. He had said I didn't have to choose. That was good, right?

Again, I felt that people-pleasing tendency to help, but I ignored it. He hadn't apologised; he had just explained.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. My mum came in, smiling widely. I forced a smile back. My mum saw through it instantly and frowned. She could always tell what I was feeling.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked gently and I nodded as I sat down, putting on my best smile. She seemed to buy this and I watched as she walked further into the room.

She sat down on the bed.

"Honey, are you sure you still don't want to-"

"No" I said, cutting her off sharply. I knew what she was about to say. And my answer would always be no.

My mum dampened at my words, knowing all too well what would my answer would have been, but she pushed on.

"Alexis.."

I sighed and went up to hug her. I didn't like seeing her cry. It made me upset. It reminded me of what happened to Aaron's mom. How did he deal and cope with such a situation?

I sighed deeply, knowing I had to go back. I had to go back and sort it out with him. I didn't owe him anything and a part of me knew that. But, for as long as I've known, I had always been the type to want to help and, so, doing nothing now made me feel guilty.

When he had come yesterday, he had told me that his mom had asked to meet and that was today. It was planned that I give my decision in the afternoon and I meet his mother in the early evening. The time was already pushing past 5pm and I let out a sigh, knowing Aaron had released me from this whole deal.

Yet, how could I not help when it wasn't just him in the picture, but a sad mother in the mix. Much like the one that was holding to me now.

I withdrew myself slowly, looking to her hopeful eyes before shaking my head slowly.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." I answered quietly to which she let out a sigh, casting her eyes to the floor. She didn't say anything and I took the opportunity to get up and make my way to the closet to change. I picked out a simple floral dress before putting it on and made my way towards the bed where my mum was sat, wringing her fingers.

I placed my hand over hers and she looked up, watching as I smiled.

"I'll be back home soon." I uttered, not wanting to talk about the previous subject and she reluctantly nodded, hauling herself off the bed as I made my way to the door.

I would be back to amend things like I always did, but we both knew that me being here for this conversation was unhealthy for us both.

I walked to the direction of his house. I obviously knew the way. He had held a party at his house and I remember driving past once looking at the crowded house with glazed eyes. I had envied that life and wanted it more than anything, especially when my life was crumbling down around me at the time.

I ran until I reached the house. I gaped in amazement. His house was huge. The money his parents earn a day could easily more than what my parents earn per year. I chuckled dryly before proceeding to the front door and ringing the doorbell.

And that's when the feeling of nervousness set in full force. The way he reacted in the cafe was far more aggressive than I would have initially anticipated Aaron to be. He seemed laid back. It was like he became another person. I shuddered at the memory before hearing the clicking of the door handle being pulled down.

The door opened, revealing Aaron, standing there topless with joggers. He stood leaning against the doorframe, a blank expression on his face, biting an apple. I focused my face on his face, ignoring his naked torso and watched as his eyes notably widened before he relaxed against the side of the door.

"What are you doing here?" He said, no hinting of emotion in his voice. That hurt me. It was as if me coming back didn't bring any relief. That I was just as I had thought when I looked in the mirror:- ordinary and forgotten.

I scrunched my eyes close and repeated in my head.

All for his mom

All for his mom

All for hi-

"Alexis" I looked up to see him still in the same position before, but now his arms were folded- He was waiting for me to talk.

I swallowed nervously and was about to speak until a female voice interrupted me.

"Who's at the door, darling?" Then the female speaker came in view. She had brown hair and pink lips. Her eyes were blue, just like Aaron's, but not as electrifying. Dark shadows hung beneath her eyes. She looked stressed and tired, but that wasn't what made me feel sadness for her. She was in a wheelchair. Weak legs may have been a symptom of leukaemia.

Aaron's mom.

"It's Alexis" He said, looking more interested in the apple then this conversation.

"Oh, I am delighted to meet you" she said with a smile, but it looked forced at its best and I stood awkwardly at the door as she looked to me. She struggled to wheel towards me and Aaron.

Aaron walked up to her and pushed her over to where I was standing. "Mum, you could have told me if you wanted something. You didn't have to move." He said harshly, but I knew it came from a place of love.

This is the Aaron I agreed to help, not the angry one. Not the emotionless one and most definitely NOT the player. The sweet guy, who loved his mother immensely, going to great lengths to make her happy- even dating someone like me.

She smiled up at her son

"Don't worry. Now who is this Alexis?" she said.

For his mom, I repeated.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward towards Aaron so I was beside him. I ignored his stare when I smiled kindly at his mom and said the words I hope I would not regret.

"I'm Alexis Dawson. I'm Aaron's girlfriend."