05

It was then he was told she had stage four liver cancer. She told him everything. How she had worsened over the 1 year in which she was told and apologised profusely for not telling him. She spoke in hurried whispers, as though she was to go then, speaking about the will she had written for him and asked him to promise her a number of things, but Aaron was too numb to move. His friends watched in horrified sadness, but chose not to intervene. They were not meant to be there at this time, but now that they were, they couldn't stand to leave them alone. Aaron let his eyes settle on his mom as she cried. How had he not realised, the cryptic way she spoke over the days, the loving hugs and the regular phone calls. Forget that, how did he not realise that his mom had become a mere shell of her former self. Now, sitting as bony and dishevelled as she was before him, he felt anger. But, only towards himself. Once again, he disappointed himself in how much he failed her. Not just her. He had failed everyone in his life and he hated himself for that.

"I want you to promise me, Aaron, that you'll-"

"Why should I promise you anything? When you didn't think it was necessary to tell me a year ago." He let out, his voice defeated but still menacingly low.

His breathing was ragged and he channelled the anger at himself to the women before him. She should have told him. He could have done something. He could have changed. He could have made it better. Or, did she not think him capable of it?

She tutted at his words, sounding strangely normal as if she had just hidden a small matter from him.

"You had so much going on, Aaron. With all the tension with the girl as well as school, I didn't want to worry you too much." She explained but stopped when looking into the blue fire alight in his eyes.

"Forget girls, I only care about you. You should have told me." He said again, his tone rough and harsh.

She held his cold hands between her trembling ones.

"You can't forget girls, Aaron, it doesn't work like that. I want you to find a nice one to settle down when you're older and be happy- in a way that I never could be. I'm scared for you sometimes. Promise me you'll not push others away anymore." She said, a tear streaked down her face and her lips quivered.

He knew how much this meant to her. Aaron was known for being a player, not just at school but within his house as well. He knew his mom had heard the door opening in the late hours as well as his and a female's laughter entwined as they sneaked to his bedroom. He would feel the bitterness hit him when he woke and had to sneak her out to see his mom making breakfast in the kitchen. She didn't say anything, she was too scared to. He knew who he reminded her of and he hated himself for it. But, he couldn't find himself to change.

Maybe the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. The physical resemblance he could see when he looked in the mirror and he knew she saw it too. So, when he did those things, it must have hit too close to home for her.

He shook his head roughly, squeezing her hands.

"I don't need any woman but you. I don't wa-"

"Don't do this!" She cried.

"Do what, mom?" He asked.

"Be anything like him." And it was those words that made him snap inside.

"I have a girlfriend, mom." He uttered out suddenly and his mom's eyebrows knitted together. He confused himself with his words as well, but didn't have the heart to backtrack.

"A girlfriend? You don't usually call them girlfriends? You're not just saying this to appease me, are you?" She asked.

The hope lingering in her tone urged him to continue.

"Why would I, mom? You'd like her; she's your classic nose in a book type." He lied, savoring the smile that lit up her face. It was the first time she had smiled because of him in a long time and so he didnt regret his lie at all.

He looked to his friends who glanced at the scene curiously. He didn't want to tell them the truth, that the only way he could make his mom happy was to tell pathetic lies because he was such a bad son. So, he nodded to confirm it to them and they exchanged glances with each other.

Then the talks came about meeting her and he promised he would find a girl, not for himself because he was through with love. Girls for games were now his only play. He'd make an exception this time and would accept getting a girlfriend. After all, she would have to play the biggest game of all.

"Oh..." was all I could say and I chastised myself for giving such a pathetic answer. He must have really cared for his mother to go out with me. He turned towards me, the look on his face making my breath hitch. His eyes were intense and full of emotion. I could see the emotions swirling in his dark blue pupils- everything he wasn't telling me was on show, right in his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to speak but, instead, he closed it. He then turned back to the wall. His jaw clenched as he spoke.

But I stayed where I was and listened as he spoke.

"Do you know how much my lie kills me?" He looked at me, almost as if he was begging me to speak, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I was speechless and no matter how hard I tried to speak I couldn't.

He spoke again, his voice filled with determination.

"I'm doing this for her. I'm not going to sit around and mope about what is to come. I'm going to do a little changes so that, when the time does come, she'll have nothing but good memories."

My throat suddenly felt dry as everything was connecting together in my head. That was why it was fake, because it was for his mum. Still I gathered all the courage I could muster and asked him the other thing that was pressing on my mind, careful not to ask any question that could potentially set him off.

"But why me?"

His face, that displayed sadness not seconds ago, morphed into that of confusion.

"Why not? You're all the qualities my mum could ask for- intelligent, easygoing, friendly." I nodded.

He nodded back, as if he knew I was starting to get it. "And really pretty" He stated bluntly.

I blushed from his compliment, but gained my composure.

"We're keeping this lie up for your friends too, aren't we?

He stood up and chuckled dryly before replying.

"It's a big lie, but I need this."

I nodded, but questioned again, seeking to douse my curiosity.

"Wouldn't your friends understand that you just want to make your mum happy? Surely, Danny or Justin would. I mean, are you guys not close or something?"

I bit hardly on my lip in the small silence that followed. I just hoped that Aaron wasn't offended by such personal questions.

Aaron didn't seem to mind, nodding his head and saying: "Yeah we're close, but they're not exactly on good terms with mothers, so they wouldn't see my need the same way I would." he said with an unamused chuckle.

I raised my eyebrow quizzically. "Meaning?"

"Justin's mom died when he was born and Danny hates his mom. I don't think they'd understand," he said briefly.

I spoke before I could think.

"You know, if it makes you feel any better, I admire the reason you did it. It's not hard to tell that you love your mom."

He didn't say anything to this and, so, I continued.

"Oh, and I know it might not mean much, but I'm sorry about your mum, Aaron. I understand how she must feel." I explained, but my words were restricted and teetering on the edge of a wall I had put up long back.

Never let others too close to your inner self. Information gives power.

"Thanks, Alexis." He said quietly, but he said nothing else.

"You're welcome," I whispered just as gently; a small smile playing on my lips. The silence was disrupted my a beep from my phone and I looked to see a message from my mum.

~ On my way with food! Set the table. ~

I smiled at the text before turning to tell Aaron, but he had seemingly already noticed and I watched as he stood, making his way to my door. He turned to me just before walking out.

"Will you do it?" He asked, his gaze searching my own and I bit my lip in contemplation before shrugging.

"Give me until tomorrow afternoon." I urged, thinking back to how Aaron had told me his mom wanted to meet his girlfriend tomorrow evening.

He nodded at this, not giving away any hint of what he was feeling before holding his phone up slightly.

"I'll wait for your text." He said, his ocean eyes searing right through me and I nodded numbly as he exited without so much as a backwards glance. He had given me his number at some point during this meet up and I had reluctantly taken it, not wanting him to know that it was the first number I had, outside my family.

Looking back to my desk, I made my way downstairs before mom came or she would most definitely give me hell for not setting the table.

The pyjamas could wait.