have no choice

Victoria's POV

I paced around my room in a panic as his words rang in my head. I couldn't believe that I was actually doing this—I was going to have sex with Bernard. I was going to be his sexual partner, and there was nothing I could do about it.

With a sigh, I stood before the mirror and gently caressed the pendant on my necklace as my thoughts turned to Derick. I wondered what he must be thinking of me and the decisions I had made. Surely, he would be angry with me, but I hoped he understood the situation I was in.

“What's wrong? You should be celebrating,” Jane spoke from behind me, causing me to startle. With a deep sigh, I sat on the bed and saw the worry etched on her face as she stared at me. “What's wrong? You won, you should be happy,” she asked. I gulped, knowing I had to tell her, I had to confide in someone.

As Jane sat down next to me, concern evident on her face, I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts. Opening up to her was the only way to share the burden I carried.

“Jane, there's something I need to tell you,” I began, my voice filled with a mix of hesitation and vulnerability. “Bernard… he approached me before the meeting, and we made a deal.”

Jane's eyes widened with surprise. “A deal? What kind of deal?”

I met her gaze, searching for understanding and support. “He offered his support and ensured that all the Alphas would vote for me to be the caretaker of the throne. In return, he asked that I become his sexual partner.”

Jane's jaw dropped, and she stared at me in disbelief. “You… you agreed to that? Victoria, how could you?”

Tears welled up in my eyes as guilt washed over me. “I know, Jane. I know it's a terrible decision, and I can't believe I've put myself in this situation. But I was desperate, and I thought it was the only way to secure Aidan's future and protect our pack.”

Jane shook her head, a mix of disappointment and concern on her face. “Victoria, you're sacrificing yourself for the pack, but at what cost? This isn't right. You deserve better than this.”

I gulped and stood up, pacing around as I thought of ways to get out of this mess, but I knew it wasn't possible. I had to go through with it.

“Bernard is married, and you just lost your mate and husband barely two weeks ago. Why would he make such demands on you?” Jane spoke, confused, and I couldn't give her an answer. I was confused, worried, and scared.

Anxiously, I rubbed my hand over the pendant on my neck as I continued pacing around my room. I wished this were all a nightmare, that I would wake up in Derick's arms, and he would tell me it was just a dream. But deep down, I knew the truth. This wasn't a nightmare; it was my reality, and I would have to face it.

“So, are you going to do it?” Jane asked, and I didn't give an answer, but I knew I was going to do it. I couldn't dare go back on my words, not when I knew the kind of person and influence Bernard had as the lord of the Hybrids.

Jane's eyes filled with concern as she realized my silence meant acceptance. “Victoria, you can't possibly go through with this. There has to be another way, another solution.”

I stopped pacing and turned to face her, my voice filled with a mix of pain and resignation. “Jane, I've thought about it. I've weighed the options, and this is the only way to ensure Aidan's safety and the future of our pack. I don't like it, but I have to do what's necessary.”

Jane stood up, her eyes pleading with me. “But what about you? What about your happiness? Is it worth sacrificing your own well-being?”

Tears streamed down my face as I struggled to find an answer. “I don't know, Jane. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again. All I want is to protect my son and honor Derick’s memory. If this is what it takes, then I'll bear the burden.”

Jane reached out and pulled me into a tight embrace, her voice filled with compassion. “Victoria, you're stronger than you realize. I'll stand by your side, regardless of what decision you make. But please remember that you deserve happiness too.”

I clung to her, seeking comfort in her words. “Thank you, Jane. Your support means the world to me. I don't know how I would have made it this far without you.”

We stayed locked in that embrace, finding comfort in each other's presence. Deep down, I knew the path ahead would be filled with challenges and sacrifices. But I had made my decision, and I would face the consequences with as much strength as I could muster.

As we finally pulled away from each other, I wiped away my tears and straightened my posture.

“You should go to bed, it’s getting late,” she said, and I nodded and watched her teleport away.

With a deep breath, I lay on the bed and forcefully shut my eyes, hoping that when I woke up, everything would be a dream.

I woke up in the morning to the sound of my alarm. Slowly and with my eyes closed, I moved my hand to the side of the bed to get a touch of Alpha Derick, like I would always do. But then I realized… the bed was empty; he was gone.

I opened my eyes and stared at the empty space that belonged to Derick. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized he was gone and everything wasn't a dream.

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the bed and stared at the empty room where I had shared memorable moments with Derick. But now, the room felt colder, emptier without him. The memories flooded back, reminding me of the love and happiness we had shared. But now, he was gone, taken from me too soon. The pain in my chest was unbearable, and the weight of my decision pressed down on me even harder.

I reached for the pendant on my necklace, holding it tightly as if it could provide some solace. It was a symbol of our love, a reminder of the bond we had shared. But now, it also represented the sacrifice I had made and the uncertain future that lay ahead.

The room felt suffocating, and I needed to escape, if only for a moment. I got up and walked over to the window, opening it to let in some fresh air. The cool breeze brushed against my face, offering a small respite from the turmoil within.

As I stood there, staring out into the world beyond, I couldn't help but wonder what Derick would think of my decision. Would he understand why I had made this choice? Would he be disappointed in me? The questions gnawed at me, filling me with guilt and uncertainty.

“Don't do it,” Beatrice, my wolf, urged. “Once you do, you will never forgive yourself for it.” She said, and all I could do was gulp and begin taking off my clothes.

I freshened up and got dressed in a well-fitted dress before leaving my room. Firstly, I went to check on Aidan and realized he was still asleep. So, I kissed him and left his room.

As I descended the stairs, I nodded my head in response to the greetings of the servants. When I reached the sitting room, I found Tony waiting for me.

The moment he saw me, he stood to his feet and marched up to me. “You! What deal did you strike with Lord Bernard?” he yelled, while I scoffed and took a seat.

He turned and held my gaze, anger burning in his eyes. “What did you offer?” he asked, but I didn't give him a response. Instead, I signaled a servant to get me a glass of drink.

“You…”

“Be careful, Beta Tony. Remember who you are talking to. I'm no longer Luna Victoria; I'm now your acting Alpha, and you won't speak to your Alpha in such a manner.”

Tony struggled to control his anger. He clenched his fists by his sides, his knuckles turning white. “It's not over, it is not…” he tried speaking, but I cut him off. “You will do nothing, Tony. It's over for you,” I said while getting on my feet. “I will make sure that you pay for what you did. You planned my husband's death and think you will go scot-free?” I scoffed bitterly. “Never! I'm going to make sure you pay for it, so sit tight and wait for me.” With that, I took the glass of wine from the servant and walked away.

I strolled to the garden and inhaled deeply while taking a sip of my drink. On my shoulders, I bear so many responsibilities and tasks, and I worry about how I am going to accomplish them all.