I don't Need You.

"Oh mercy. It is Laura. It really is..." I gasp. I can't believe it. I didn't like her anymore, no, but to see her dead guilts me. Is she dead because of me? Did he kill her for no more than a message? Is he really capable of this? Her once bronze skin is ashen and devoid of color. He throat has a jagged gash ear to ear. Her white blond hair is pinkish and burgundy from absorbing the blood that no doubt spilled. Thankfully, it was no spilled her. I quickly told Holden she must've been transported and dumped here. Literally dumped. I stop Holden from moving her.

"Don't leave any evidence on her Holden. I know this girl's family. Her dad is sheriff. He will check her over with a fine tooth comb. We have him on tape dumping her. We will turn it straight in and wash our hands of this. She gets justice and her family takes care of our Ben problem..."

"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT!"

"Holden, we are in the clear here. We did nothing, all we have to do is..." He grabs my throat and I look up at him in shock.

"No. We are not turning this in. We go dump this bitch away from us, and that's it. We deal with that fucker on our own. Unless you have qualms about me killing your boyfriend. " Why is he coming at me like this? I've done nothing wrong? His hold on my throat tightens and I can't respond to him. I give him a moment to release me. He maintains his hold, and ny throat burns. I'm not waiting any longer. I pull my knee up and strike my target. He pulls back and doubles over. Thank goodness Daddy already satisfied my needs, I think I put Holden out of commission a few days. I immediately retreat.

"I'm sorry, but you were hurting me. You were going to choke me and I had to." I stammer in fear as his eyes darker and he lunges towards me. I tuck tail and run to the house.

"You are more trouble than you'll ever be worth. I don't need you." I shouts behind me. I cry in confusion as I retreat. What have I done? I was only trying to defend myself from him. I bound the stairs in little time and I am back in the room with my babies. Daddy H has already placed them in their crib. He immediately notices my demeanor and comes to me.

"What's wrong dear? Are you..." He stoops down to inspect my throat, eyes darkening. "Who did this? Tell me."

"I-I...Holden. But I..." I croak. My throat feels like needle pricks.

"He did this? Why?" Daddy bellows.

"I argued with him. I shouldn't have but I just thought it would be best to turn her over to police. He wanted to dump her elsewhere. Then insinuated I was taking up for Ben and called him my boyfriend." I manage.

"He choked you for that?"

"I kicked him though. I-" Holden barges in cold and volatile.

"Here. Bitch." Holden grits out as he seethes at me. "I said NOW bitch." Daddy steps in front of me.

"You do not call her out of name. We need to go downstairs, the babies are sleeping. Leave mama here." Daddy tries to reason, but I can see how tense he is. I'm suddenly very uncertain of their intentions. Are they going to talk everything over or is he leading Holden away so they can fight?

"Acacia. Please come here." Holden pleads. His tone is off. Something is not right. But if I refuse might it cause tensions to soar higher? "It's alright. Come here." I look to Daddy for confirmation.

"Holden. I'm sorry. I was scared you would hurt me. I shouldn't have suggested..."

"Come here." Daddy H is watching him like a hawk as I come out from behind him and towards Holden. Holdens arms open to me and I look up into his face. Blank. His face is blank. It's a red flag, so I look to him with hesitation. Finally, I walk into his arms as he tucks me into his body.

"Are you ok? I'm really sorry." I blurt. He looks down at me and outs a bit if space between us.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry too." He says. I look up at him as he sadly smiles at me. My face is stuck with such force that I slam to my side on the ground. My ear rings and my vision is spotty. The babies are crying, obviously woken from the sound of the punch. I cover my screams as Daddy H tackles Holden through the door way and rolls him down the stairs. I try to quiet and calm the boys as I listen to the sounds of their battle echo through the house. The ba is finally drift back to sleep and I tiptoe down the stairs to break them up. I see that Daddy has keotbthe upper hand, he has Holden grounded on his stomach and has his head locked. His knees pin the backs of Holden's arms. I wipe my bloody face on my sleeve.

"Stop! Stop it please. The babies woke up scared. They cried. They do not need to hear this. We need to calm down. Maybe Ben knew if he did this shitvwe would turn on one another like a pack of hyenas. We need to be on the same page. Please stop." Daddy's head bows to me and he discounts Holden's back and stands tall, chest heaving. Holden lays on the floor panting, trying to catch his wind. Daddy H looks fine. I stroke his arm as I go check Holden. Holden spits blood in my face as I try to tend him.

"Get the fuck off me! I don't want you. I don't need you."

"I'm only trying to help you! You are bleeding. I just want to help. I'll go move Laura sonewhere. I'll do what you want, just stop hurting me. I thought we were past this. I only said what I did because I want us out of as much illegal shit as we can be. We have children now. If we get caught they lose us. I can't have our babies growing up without us."

"I don't want your help. Our children would grow up fine either way. Maybe better off without you. " He stands and shoves past me to the front door. Daddy H grabs me and leads me to the stairs as I cry. I thought I was a good fiance. A good mom. How could he treat me this way? I take the ring off my hand and chuck it back to the open front door.

"You might not want or need me now, Holden, but when your sorry ass ends up with another Brooke you'll come crawling back again. You had one last chance Holden. " I call out after him. I go straight upstairs with daddy and start pulling all Holden's belongings out of MY room. My room. He can fuck all the way off. I drag his things into a spare bedroom and slide against the hallway wall to cry. Daddy has most of Holden's blood wiped away and he slides down beside me.

"I am sorry dear. I should not have done what I did. I don't regret it though. You should never be struck, or called out of name. He had no right to treat you like that. You've forgiven us, fed us, cook and clean for us, mend us when we are sick, nearly went into shock birthing our kids, and you work wonders for our finances. You have improved the lives of everyone here. We will not find another like you. I am not perfect myself, no, but Holden could live one hundred more lives and still never manage to do enough to deserve you. I will not interfere unless on behalf of your safety, but do remember your worth. Now let's lay down and go to sleep. Holden will deal with Laura, and I will deal with him. You rest with me and worry about mama and boys." He carries me into my room and I get down and check on the boys. We lay down and he lays behind me. "I'm sorry the night had to go like this. I do hope you know how special the moment was for me earlier. I love you Acacia."

"I love you Daddy." He chuckles and soon drifts off. I still can't sleep. I sit and think about where I went wrong. What to do now. Holden no longer wants me. That's ok. It tears me apart, but it's fine. I survived without Ben, I will make it without Holden. I refuse to throw myself at a man who no longer wants me. I decide that tomorrow I'll have Daddy watch the boys, and I will go find a job. I will be self sufficient in this house incase Holden forces me to leave, I will be able to save my money from Richard for the boys and live on my paychecks. Yes. I will have my own thing. That way no matter what my boys will have a good life. I feel eyes on me and I turn to see Holden watching me from the hallway.

"Cia. Are you alright?" He whispers. But I know he doesn't care. "Cia."

"I'm fine. You aren't obligated to check on me. You are right. I bring nothing but trouble. You don't need or want me Holden, and that's fine. You'll find somebody worthy of you. Do whatever you please. It's your life. I'm only here until I get the money to leave. " I turn from him.

"Cia you can stay here. You don't have to leave."

"I do though. Otherwise I'll bring more trouble with me. It isn't fair to sit here in your face when you feel this way. Obviously you've wanted me gone a while. That stunt about your dad earlier, was just a ploy to get me off you wasn't it? You never cared about him being lonely? You were secretive about meeting Ben and tried to hide it. You don't trust me, you don't want me, you think I'm a shitty mom..."

"I didn't mean..."

"To what? Hit me or spit on me? To belittle or insult me? I gave you one last opportunity. I can't be with someone who knocks my head off over difference of opinion or attacks me in front if our children. There's no coming back from this." I tune out his response at the door and he goes to the guest room. The house is dead silent, over the light breathing and soft snores of the family I can hear Holden's sobs. I want to run to him, to comfort him and take it all back. But I can't. If I do he will never learn from his mistakes, we'll just repeat this cycle over and over. I cannot let him by with this behavior. I bite my lip to cry silently and pace my breathing. He will not hear me. He will not get the pleasure of knowing how deep he cut me. I will die on the inside before I crawl to him. I can do this. I've been through worse. I'm a tough bitch. I've fought with men, hit men! I've killed a woman and crippled another. I have escaped horrible fates. I've endured the worst of tortures, given birth, had my heart broken too many times. Watched by own aunt die. And still I prevail. I comfort myself by burying under Daddy's chin and I drift off thinking of all the places I've seen have hiring signs. Tomorrow is a new day.